Everyday at Christel House is amazing. I love the kids, teachers and the unconditional love I get from both. I just finished writing an 8-page research paper about Christel House. I am so happy that I am part of such a great organization. I just hope that I will be able to make an impact even if it is just on one kid. I did not want to be just like any internship that they have had in the past. I want to be different and I want to help them in some way. I know that it is a little far fetched since the kids are so little and only five years old. For goodness sake I do not even remember what I did when I was five. But it would be amazing to come back here one day and see my students and have them remember me. But I guess we will just have to wait and see.
It’s about 3:15 in the morning and I can’t sleep. Today there are so many different thoughts racing through my mind. Today I was finally able to sit back and reflect on everything. I started to think while the kids were taking a nap. They all looked so peaceful and happy. Every time I go to school the kids greet me with smiles and hug. A little girl who is five years old and has a cough problem since her mother smoked while she was pregnant is always smiling. These kids are genuinely happy and are essentially just kids. At Christel House I tend to forget where I am. I tend to forget that I’m at a school for impoverished children. With matching uniforms and hugs and kisses you tend to forget about their problems and everything that they are going through. Its hard to imagine at just age five they have to go through a lot of things and already have so many problems at home.
That just brings me back to being five. Do you remember when your biggest worry was not being able to get dessert if you misbehaved? Do you remember when you did not have to worry about cooking dinner or going to work? When I was five years old all of those embedded stereotypes and norms. Who created all of these social norms? Why do we have to shave? Why do we have to look this way or that? Society tends to embed all of these norms into our heads without us even knowing. But when we were five years old were we concerned about wearing the most up to date new designer line? When we were five years old did we care think about being normal and what to wear or not to wear? Being young was so amazing. You didn’t have to worry about getting from here to there. You did not have to worry about much. You would just play with your friends and be happy.
That is what so many of these kids have that sometimes I find myself not having…happiness. Sometimes I do not understand how I can lack something that I should have. I have such a great life and just am so fortunate for everything in my life. Some of these kids go home and some do not have running water, some do not have dinner. But do I see them coming in sad and complaining about their lives? No. These kids are happy. These kids have great energy and are great listeners and learners. They try very hard and once they have accomplished something they show me and are proud. This is why teaching is so rewarding. Sure it is fun to be hugged a billion times and to be attacked by a sea of Grade R students. But the most rewarding part of this job is the kids and when they improve. When you see that all of your hard work and teaching has worked. That is the best feeling in the world. When you are working with a child and see the light bulb go off in his/her head. When they finally get it and it clicks. That is when I get that warm feeling inside and can’t even describe how rewarding it is. When your children finish a task that they have been working very hard on and show it to you. When you tell them something so simple as “a job well done Chelsea.” They grin from ear to ear and they get that same feeling nice and warm inside. These children feel the love and support from teachers when they know they care. It is priceless being able to work with these children.
Yes, I am indeed becoming really attached to my Grade R class not only the kids but also the teachers. Everyone in Christel House is wonderful and all the kids want to do is give you more hugs. It doesn’t matter who you are if you know them or not the kids are giving hugs to everyone left and right. It is unconditional love. I am going to miss all of their hugs and some trying to kiss me all of the time. I am going to miss my chats with my teachers. It is really bad. You know that feeling when you know that you are falling in love with someone and you can’t help it. You don’t necessarily want it to happen but it does anyway. Well that is how I am feeling right now towards these kids, teachers and South Africa. I don’t want to fall hard but I am and there’s no stopping it. I know by the end of this trip I will be in tears.
I came to South Africa because I wanted something different. I needed to get away for a little bit and I needed to truly find myself. I am so glad that I choose to come to South Africa. It is a place that I have never seen before. To me it seems that not a lot of people are worried about what car they drive or what clothes they wear. These people know the true meaning of happiness and love. People genuinely care for you and look out for you. I keep on thinking back to the Sunday morning I went to church in a township. That was the most powerful service I have ever gone to. The music really brought everyone together. You can tell that everyone came together. They weren’t there because their parents dragged them out of bed or they had to go. These people wanted to go. These people had great energy and good vibes. It was such a beautiful service. Looking around I saw all of these beautiful people and heard this beautiful music. Did they have a piano? No. Did they have any instruments? No. Their voices and spirits were so loud that they did not need much. Just like these kids and many other people I have seen they believe. They do not have much but they still believe and they make a fantastic life out of what they have.
My teacher is an inspiration she is such an amazing teacher and person. I can tell how passionate she is about the kids. She also has to give them a little bit of tough love every once in a while. But she is great with the kids and so funny. I love the way she teaches and really admire her. I have been learning a lot and am glad we made such a great connection from day 1. The assistant is also wonderful. She is also so caring and great with the kids. She teases them and is fun with them as well. I know that once she finishes school she is going to be a truly amazing teacher, she is already. The kids inspire me the most. They make me want to live everyday to the fullest and to put all of my worries to the side. They make me put everything into perspective and make me realize that some things in life are just not worth getting upset about.
I have learned by living with 17 people in this house that there are a lot of strong personalities. But I have also learned to forgive and to not judge people so quickly. Of course some personalities clash right away. But now that I have started to get to know everyone on a little bit deeper level I have seen the true person he/she is. Everyone on this trip really does mean well and I care about each and every one of them. I have had a lot of fun getting to know everyone. There have been some bumps along the way but now it is a smooth ride. I can now say that I can get along with everyone and enjoy going out and spending time with the group. At first as you know I was having a hard time. That was probably one of the biggest challenges for me flying across the country with no friends or family with no one to lean on. Here I was alone with 20 strangers and had to make friends. I know that it sounds very easy making friends but for me it wasn’t. I was so used to my best friends from home and my family being a car ride away. Here I was forced to be on my own. It was hard and took a while to get adjusted but now I have found a lot of good friends that I am sure I will stay in touch with for years to come.
Another challenge was letting go and venturing outside of my comfort zone. I had a hard time letting go of that fear of no one liking me and even of the people here. But I have learned that being safe and opening up to people to overcome those fears. I am planning on going on a homestay in Oceanview one of the townships next weekend. I will be staying with a host family for a few nights. I am very excited to learn more about this culture and be able to really experience it hands on. This is why I came here to learn more about the South African culture. These people all have different stories of how they got to where they are today and different opinions about the Apartheid and race. I am very embarrassed to say that I had did not know anything about South African History before arriving. I did not know who Nelson Mandela was or what the Apartheid was. I am so glad that I am learning so much but wish I would have learned at least a little bit in school.
I feel happy and giddy and I can’t even describe it. I have learned to not take so many things for granted. I am so mad that in America materialistic things have become so important to us. How money has become so important to us as well. How we are afraid to get to know strangers and usually when in a rush just blow off clerks when they ask how we are. In the US we always seem to be in a rush and going from here to there. We are just go, go, go all of the time and tend not to relax and rest. We need to find more time for ourselves we need to reflect every once in a while and just stop and breathe. We need to learn how to enjoy life and enjoy our food. My dad would always tell me to enjoy my food not to rush. That is true for food and also for life. If you rush rush rush you will not get as much out of life or the wonderful taste of food as if you just took your time and really tasted every ingredient and spice. Life comes so fast and before you know it a month or two has passed by. I have learned here and after talking to my boyfriend not to be sad and worry about how I have to leave in two months. I mustn’t worry about the expiration date on my trip. I must slow down and enjoy every last second I am here. I must use this opportunity to explore not only Cape Town but also myself and how I feel. I must learn what truly makes me happy. Things like yoga, kids, and running, eating and talking with friends. These things may take time out of my day and may help me procrastinate from the work I have to do. But by getting the most out of the time here is just as important maybe even more than reading my book. I always have the day or night before to write that paper right? I know that you all are always busy and go go go just like I was and usually am. But you can’t forget to take some time for you and to treat yourself every once in a while. It can be something as simple as treating yourself to Starbucks (that’s what I did at home…still can’t find anything close to as good as Starbucks here…I’ve been drinking Instant Coffee which is interesting to say the least). Okay I am done rambling on and now it is nearly 4 in the morning so I should try to sleep. But if anyone gets the chance to visit some place as amazing as South Africa do not even hesitate just do it! You will not regret it! I definitely did not.
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