Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Brandi's reflections on what she learned


Brandi in Ocean View
To be completely honest, this semester changed my life. The race & gender course seriously opened my eyes to a whole new realm of not just thinking but new information I never even knew existed. Before this trip I kind of just accepted everything that was told me to. Now I have learned to not believe everything someone tells me and to always research things before I trust completely. I have learned to question assumptions but to not loose myself in the process and I have learned how easily people can jump on bandwagon of any kind.

My life choices…that’s so strange to think about because it seems so far away but in reality that’s so close! Well, my life choices have definitely been altered because of this trip. I think differently now. I feel more socially aware about issues like racism and sexism. Before this trip if someone made a racist joke I probably would have laughed and thought it was funny. But by being in your class and seeing first hand how racism affects people, I feel like I can stand up against it and tell people how seriously wrong it is. I have learned how even if something isn’t offensive to you, it could be to someone else. I have really learned a new perspective on people that I definitely know will affect whom I hang out with and what I do today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life. I think the biggest thing is that I have learned to open my eyes. Before I came on the trip I knew I didn’t have a lot figured out but I thought I knew a good amount about a lot of things. But boy did that change, especially by being in your class. I feel like I was so ignorant before I came on this trip but I am not angry at myself because of it but I now realize how important it is to stay informed. I have never been much for watching the news or keeping up with social issues but now I think it is so important to stay informed. Seriously, I know that I will stay informed when I go home and that will help me so much later on in life.

About my future career; being here in South Africa just emphasized exactly what I want to do with my life. Working at Christel House with the grade three children who come from nothing but work so hard just to live makes me even more passionate about working at The Hole In The Wall Gang Camp when I am older. I know that I want to travel and see the world and maybe even start a camp here in South Africa. I just want to help people and by experiencing all that I have here it has made me realize how possible it actually is to do that.
            
I have learned so much about race and gender that will definitely help me become a more informed global citizen. I now realize how important it is to talk about issues like race and gender because it is when we ignore issues that nothing gets solved and the cycle continues. We watched a video in class about how in the United States when people drive through places like Harlem we lock out doors and windows. It gives into the negative stereotype that all black people are bad. That is not okay. By watching videos provided us, and reading articles and discussing issues like this, I realize how prevelant these negative stereotypes are in our culture at home. I see how even before I came I even did some of those things we discussed because subconsciously I accepted many of the messages that are so prevalent in our culture. Now I want to break those stereotypes and I feel like I have the power (from our experiences here and the knowledge I have gained) to stand up to close friends and call them out on a racist remark or sexist comment. The talks we had about how women are portrayed in media and so many different areas blew my mind as well. I never realized how sexualized and degraded women are just in simple magaizines in the US and even on billboards here. I learned that by women calling each other ‘sluts’ and ‘bitches’ it only makes it okay for men to call us that too. Its disgusting when I think how often those terms are used on a daily basis at UConn, whether it’s a man calling a woman those things or even women calling each other that.
            
I feel like I have learned so much about so many issues that are right under my nose at home that I never would have known or realized by coming here. I think by opening my eyes to so many issues like race and gender I see how many more issues need to be addressed. I think everything I have learned makes me a more informed global citizen because even though I don’t know everything about the topics we covered in class I still know so much more then I did. And by even acknowledging that such things exist is the first step in making a change. I feel like I can make other people more aware to and assist them in becoming more aware.

Now here comes the big part- what I learned about myself. I know I have talked about this before but I think the biggest thing I learned was how to love myself. I learned that I really truly love myself and this is the first time in my life I can honestly say that. I wish I could say how it happened but I really can't pinpoint it on one specific event. I think it started at camp this past summer when I learned that there is more to life then surface level fake ideas that people so dearly cling onto because they don’t want to open their eyes and heart to things other then themselves. From working at camp with such incredible people and children I learned that it is possible to love every second of every day. From camp to coming on this trip, I feel like I have grown so much as a person. Not only am I more self aware, but also I am more aware about things happening right in front of me. I am more perceptive to sexist and racist remarks and I now see how there is so much more to a person then what you think you already know.
            
Like I said before though, the biggest thing I think I learned about myself is that I am okay. I know I am not perfect (definitely not perfect) but I am comfortable with myself. I think by learning to accept myself I have learned to accept other people even more and that is so important. I also have learned how important emotions truly are. Openly crying during some class discussion made me realize how important emotions and feelings really are. Its also important to me that I realized I am not alone on so many different things. Even though all of us may have wanted to scream at each other more often then once on this trip, I have learned patience and realized that someone may be going through a hard time at the moment. I think it is so important that I experienced everything I did here. I think coming into this trip with no expectations really made me see how important it is to stay open minded.