Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Brandi experiences a community of joy and beauty

After getting back from the homestay, I went directly to Marita’s apartment. I needed to process and talk about my past experience. I needed to talk with someone and put things into perspective about the things I saw. I needed to be brought back down to earth, back to reality and back to my home here in Rondebosch. I wanted to stay in Ocean View with my family. But by talking to Marita I was able to share these thoughts (and many others) and connect the past weekend with the upcoming future. So, this past weekend really opened my eyes to the real Cape Town. Now, from being here for the past month and a half I have seen a lot. I have seen the beautiful sights, been to the beaches, and been through townships, but never have I stayed in a township and seen the real beauty of community and joy.

Thursday of last week, a group of nine UConn students (one including myself) got a on a train to a place called Fish Hoek. It is about a forty-five minute train ride from our stop in Rondebosch to get to the station. I think I was nervous for what I was about to experience, and partly because I have NO idea what to expect. We knew nothing about where we were going or what we would be doing for the next four days, except for our roommate (which some of didn’t even know). I was excited, but so tired. We got to Fish Hoek and found the van that was going to take us into the Ocean View township. The ride wasn’t long, we drove through some low socioeconomic areas with little housing but it was still a lovely drive. I kept getting more and more excited as we got closer and closer to the community. The houses were small and close together but without even being inside I knew they had so much joy spilling out of them. We pulled up to a small brown house on Zodiac Rd. We all piled out of the van with our bags and stood outside of the gate of the brown house. We were greeted by Chantel who was the program coordinator for the volunteer program called Volunteer Mzanzi Afrika, and from then on in, all my nerves went away. Two dogs also greeted us, one being a four-month-old puppy named JJ and another being a beautiful golden dog named Winnie. They were so excited to have attention! We walked into the house and sat in the living room and were introduced to the people that lived there. We were in Chantel’s house with her mother and father. Their house was so cute; it had a little living room all open and connected to a small dining room, which was then connected to the kitchen. It was so cozy and we were able to sit around in the living room and talk. We met another girl who was doing the weekend with us. She had just turned eighteen and was taking a gap year between high school and going to Harvard. It was nice to meet her and get to know someone new!

So we were sitting in the house talking about what to expect and the history of Ocean View. It was really cool to hear about how much the community has been through and how close they all still were. I had just arrived and already felt a part of their community. We then found our rooming placements and where we would be volunteering on Friday. I was living with Becky (we had decided that before) and we were actually staying with Chantel in the house we were all in! I had this weird feeling walking in that that would be where we were staying- and I was right! So everyone figured out whom they were living with and where they were living and we headed out the door to begin the rest of our night.

Chantel brought us to a small Methodist Church right down at the end of her street. Here we would be watching a show that a group of kids in the community would be putting on for us. They had been working so hard on putting the acts together to welcome us to their town. They even had a dress rehearsal the night before! Kids danced and sang to all different kinds of music. When we walked into the hall there were chairs set up all facing the front of the room, where there was a small table and a DJ stand on as well. There was a big open space on the floor for the kids to dance in. the organization that the kids belong to is called ‘Out of the Box’, which is almost like a youth group for kids in the community. So the show began and I watched in awe as I saw incredible talents being shown by 7-15 year olds. The main part of the show was dancing. The kids did this hip-hop dancing where they wore masks and danced to many different songs and words. It was really actually artistic and I was shocked to see how incredibly talented each child really was. The lyrics of the music were shocking at times too, but I realized that it was a part of their culture. I talked to Marita about this when I got home from the home stay and she really put it in perspective for me. Since it was American music they were listening and dancing to, she said that they probably think that since its American music it must be good. I thought about that and it’s so true. These young kids are listening to crappy American music and thinking that the lyrics are great and just because it’s from America it must be good music. I was just in awe of some of the lyrics and how the kids knew what all of it meant.

After the show, we stood up and clapped. All of the kids loved being able to perform for us, and it was really cute when some of them were really shy. Then the DJ kept playing music and we all got up and danced around with them for a long time after. It was so funny because I cannot dance as cool and collected as the kids could, and many of them just looked at all of us and laughed at how silly we looked. I loved it because to me, it didn’t matter that I couldn’t dance it was just the feeling of showing these kids that we really aren’t that cool and we too are just like them. Eventually (after we were all sweating and hot) everything got packed up and we said goodbye to the kids. They left looking so happy, and I know we all felt the same way.

We walked out of the building and headed to another host families house. As the sun was setting we walked through Ocean View, just taking in the sights and everything going on around us. A lot of people looked at our group as we walked through the streets. We were loud white people, and many of them would just stop and stare. But I didn’t mind. Sometimes it gets uncomfortable but I realized that it’s a part of life. Everyone sees our outward differences and being in a community where I was one of the only white people, I was bound to get stared at. So we walked to a house in another part of town. As we were walking up the small hill to the home, I saw just why it was called ‘Ocean View’. From the town, you can look over the homes and houses and see the majestic mountains in the distance. At the base of the mountains was the clear blue ocean. It was incredible. As the sun was setting I just stared at the mountains and water, and watched as the sun slowly disappeared behind them all. The beauty in both situations was so contrasting but so mesmerizing. Here I was, an outsider in a colored community being welcome in by open arms. And here I was again, standing and looking at the sights and beauty of the physical place surrounding me. The community and the mountains around me were outwardly beautiful, but provided me a sense of security as well. Even though I was in a new place staying in a township with people I had never met before, I was peaceful. It was like the view of Table Mountain from everywhere you go in Cape Town. It’s a monument that lets me know that if I can see it, I am close to home. Although I wasn’t sure if I could see Table Mountain from Ocean View, I knew I was home as well. It felt comfortable and there wasn’t a part of me that was scared.

We ate dinner with Maria and Rebecca’s host family. It was delicious in every aspect. It was a home cooked meal with scrumptious food and good people. we sat around and talked and laughed until it was time for us to bring people to their families. Since Becky and I were staying with Chantel, we got to leave our bags at the original house we were in and travel with everyone else and see where they were staying as Chantel dropped them off. We walked all through Ocean View at night in the dark. We stopped at many homes and I saw and met many different families. Everyone was so incredibly open and nice when meeting us. I was so excited and hyper at the time, so I’m pretty sure I might have scared a few people…but that’s okay. At my friends Kimmi and Kelsey’s home, I met their whole family. They had two sons, one a young teenager and another about sixteen years old. When we got there the two boys seemed kind of shy, but then as we started talking with them and their families the older one really opened up. It ended up that he spent most of the weekend with our group (whenever we were all together) and acted just like a little brother to all of us. It was so great. I danced around their living room too on the first night of meeting us all, which definitely made them all laugh.

We finally got back home later that night around ten and had to jump in the car with Chantel to bring one other volunteer (not from our group) back to her home in another area close by. I was exhausted but I enjoyed seeing the surrounding areas of Ocean View and Fish Hoek even in the dark. We got home and Becky and I fell sound asleep. We were sharing a small room right off of the living room from where you first walked in. it had a bed in the corner and a giant cushion on the floor. So I slept on the floor next to Becky’s bed on the cushion and was out cold sleeping the instant my head hit the pillow. After our first day I was so amazed at how much like home this community felt after only being there for a few hours. Everyone opened their homes for us and treated us as family.

The next morning we woke up bright and early to start our volunteer projects. Becky and I would spend from 8-2 working at a daycare center called ‘Bumblebee’ in the town. After walking a few other people to their placements, Chantel dropped us off at the daycare center. The center was located in a garage of someone’s home, with thirty children from the ages of 2-4. We walked in and I automatically felt happy but sad at the same time. I saw thirty young children staring up at me, some looking nervous others not even paying attention to the new white newcomers at all. I was happy to spend the day with the children but sad because the lack of facility that this daycare had. All thirty children were sitting on an old rug placed on the ground. The garage was nicely decorated with pictures and counting posters but I still thought it wasn’t a big enough facility to hold (and accommodate) the needs of so many youngsters. I didn’t have long to think about that though because we jumped right into their circle time. We sang songs and eventually the kids warmed up to Becky and I. We played with them and spent our time just being with the kids. One part of the time at Bumblebee that really stuck out for me was their playtime outside. The kids got to run around and play outside for a long time. However, their play area outside consisted of sand on the ground and a few pieces of equipment (like a slide and a small swing) to climb all over. While I walked outside on the other side of the garage I saw glass all over the ground. The kids were running around (some in bare feet) playing and having a great time. As Becky and I played with them we picked up pieces of glass along the way. As some of the kids started to see us doing that, they picked up pieces and handed them to us. I felt so bad that these young beautiful children didn’t have a safer area to play in.

At the end of our time there, I was sad to leave. However it really taught me a big lesson. A daycare center doesn’t need fancy play equipment or a fancy facility. It needs people who love and care about their job and kids to be able to run it adequately. I really thought about how the children spent their day in the garage turned into a daycare and how awesome that was. It was shocking at first, but really showed me how you don’t need much to be happy. People don’t need fancy cars or huge houses to show that they have wealth. Wealth can come from a variety of places, and I think the best kind of wealth is being happy and being comfortable with not taking more then you need. Yes, this daycare facility could use new foam mattresses for the children to sleep on or new carpets. But you know what? They had awesome people who loved the children and made the best out of what they had. The children were happy and content. The whole experience really made me realize that material wealth is not everything, and by giving what you do have is the most important thing of all even if it means you might be uncomfortable for a little while. Because you grow the most when you are out of your comfort zone.

After leaving our little squirts at the daycare center, we headed back to our house in Zodiac Rd. When we got home, I flopped onto my cushion and took a nap for about an hour. When I woke up, we had to get ready to head off to our next adventure of the day. The youth program. Becky and I ate a delicious lunch made by Chantel’s mom and then the whole group of us volunteers headed to the program. Now, here is a little bit of background about the youth program. It is a program designed for less fortunate children on welfare in the area of Ocean View. They come to this facility and have life skills lessons and are provided dinner I think once a week. We were also told that many of the kids that attend this program, don’t like to be known that they are there. There is almost like a stigma attached to it, because if people see they are there then they will know that they don’t have much. So we were told that the kids (who were teenagers from the ages of 12-16 years old) wouldn’t want to be outside or anything. We were told to come up with indoor cultural games to play with them. However, when we arrived there, all the kids were outside playing a game called ‘detective’ in a big circle! I was really happy to see the kids outside (not only because it was a beautiful day) but because then we could all stay outside and play other games. So we all jumped right in and played another round of detective with them. Now, detective is a really fun game that I am so excited to bring to camp this next summer (maybe not the death murder part of it-but you will see what I mean). You have one detective in the middle of the circle, and you have one murderer (whom no one knows who it is) on the outside of the circle with everyone else. The murderer has to wink at people when the detective isn’t looking, and when you get winked at you flop on the ground and cause I big scene. The detective has three chances to find out who they think the murderer is before everyone is laying on the ground. It was so fun to see all the kids having a great time playing. After we played rounds of this game, we sat in the circle and had almost like a mini talent show. People got in the middle of the circle and just did funny things. I got in the middle and did a funny dance move called the ‘Bernie’ and everyone else copied it for the rest of the night! It was hilarious because I really don’t care how big of an idiot I look like; I just kind go for it. People sang and Nicole did an awesome back flip. It was so fun to just be silly. Towards the end we started to sing songs. I jumped into the middle and sang the Red Unit camp song- “You can’t ride in my little red wagon”. At the time, I didn’t realize how much of a hit it would be. The kids absolutely LOVED it. They asked me to sign it again, and by the end most of them had it memorized. It was great too because it was a ‘repeat after me song’ and they can teach it to younger kids as well. I was just so overwhelmed with happiness because I got to bring one of my favorite things in the world (camp) to one of my new favorite things in the world (South Africa). This might be cliché but when I saw those two parts of myself combine and come together in that moment when I brought camp to the youth group- I was on the verge of tears. Camp is such a huge part of who I am, and to be able to bring what I have learned from it to where I was in that moment just meant so much to me.

After singing and dancing outside, we had so many people from the outside looking in. There were people standing and sitting in the streets outside of fence where we were just watching us. It looked like they were almost jealous of the kids at the youth program. I think the kids loved it because for once they were the center of attention! We walked inside and ended up talking about the tutoring program my friend Kelsey is starting in the community. Every week for the rest of our time here we will be going back to Ocean View and helping out that group of students with anything school wise they need assistance with! I am so excited to start this. Our time was up, so we all walked out and hung out in the front. I had a lot of fun with the kids and am so excited to go back. When we were leaving, I looked down the road and saw a fight about to ensue between two people standing in the streets. The kids said that it’s a regular occurrence and many of them ran off to watch it. It threw me off balance. I wasn’t sure what to think, and I couldn’t help but watch as they walked away. I shook the thoughts out of my head and said my goodbyes to the awesome kids I had met. I was on an emotional high and was so happy to have had such a great day. Chantel drove Nicole back to where she was staying then she took Becky and I up to a part of the mountain close by and we watched the sun go down over the water. It was seriously incredible. I really have never seen such a beautiful sunset. I felt like I was in a trance, from the whole day leading up to that moment I saw the sun set below the horizon over the water. I really was in a trance and would have stood there all night if Chantel and Becky didn’t make me get back into the car and drive home to get a late dinner.

We got back home and Chantel’s mom had made us a yummy dinner of spaghetti and Bolognese sauce. Becky wasn’t feeling well so she went to lay down, but I had gotten an hour of sleep so I was wired at that time. I stayed up and talked with Chantel, which ended up with me and her entire family (her mom and dad) all talking about Ocean View, their family, apartheid, and my family. It really made me realize that there is so much more to a person then what meets the eye. You think you know things about people but really there is so much more. I am so grateful to say that I made an incredible new friend that night, and I know that I can always talk to Chantel if I need it. We have so much more in common then I realized and that conversation we had with her and her family was so enlightening on so many issues and ways of thinking.

The next morning was so relaxing. We slept in and had a great breakfast then took a walk through the community and through a field with Chantel, her mom, and the dogs. It was a relaxing walk and I really enjoyed just thinking and chatting. We got back home and Chantel, Becky and I headed to another part of Ocean View (called Ghost Town) to meet new people and have an all day potjiekos. A potjiekos is almost like a meat stew, that you cook all day over open coals outside on a braai fire. We got to the small house and met everyone in their family, extended family and neighbors. We started cutting up veggies and just enjoying what we were doing not fully understanding what we were getting into. The house we were in was so small, with two tiny bedrooms a small kitchen with a small living room and a bathroom with no sink or shower, but just a toilet and bathtub. There were so many people there all laughing and enjoying our time. The women’s whose house we were in had a son and husband and the three of them lived in this house together. The reason why we were actually there cooking this meal was to give it out to the neighborhood boys. Her son had been bullied a lot recently and she thought it was because of the fact that he had more (materialistically) then other children. So she wanted to cook a meal and share it with others. And I was lucky enough to be a part of that.

We cooked the meal slowly and hung out all day. When meeting people in this township, you always talk to women as ‘Aunties’ and men as ‘uncles’ even if they aren’t your biological aunt or uncle. I loved calling all the women aunties! It felt like home and I had so much fun. There were all these kids around the house, in different rooms and around the Karaoke machine (in the living room). there was even one little girl there whom no one knew who she was! We ended up finding out she was the neighbors child and it was so funny to see all the kids playing everywhere. I started out being a stranger in someone’s home, and ended at the end of the day with about fifteen new family members. I feel like I am part of something greater then myself, not just through Ocean View but in South Africa as well.

As we left, we hugged everyone and promised to come back. We walked back home and I was just on cloud nine. I got to hand out food to kids from the neighborhood that all gathered together at this house with the boy that was bullied. I saw things from a different perspective. A mother, whose son was bullied, didn’t want to get back at the boys but instead give to them, give everything she had. When we were arriving back to Chantel’s house I saw a group of children dancing to music at her neighbors house. I started dancing outside of their gate and they all ran over. They came through the gate and about ten children and Becky and I sang and danced on the sidewalk and in the street. There were small children and tall children and it was absolutely one of the most fun things I have done. It was so sporadic and really made the children happy-I loved every second of it.

We got back home after eating our fair share of the delicious stew and singing rounds of karaoke. We ate again as Chantel’s mom provided us with more yummy food- I just cant say no to eating! Then for the first time in about two months, we sat and watched a few TV shows on the TV Chantel had in her living room! It was so strange to watch TV but I enjoyed it nonetheless. We went to bed at a decent time, and we excited for the morning to come.

The next morning was exciting, as we got ready to go to church. Chantel had to go to church early, so we walked over with her mom and her young cousin who goes with them every week. Her cousin is eight years old and as cute as a button. Church was in a room in the High School. As we walked past other open rooms, I heard gospel singing and other prayers. Each classroom was used for a different church service-how great was that! We got to the room our service was held in and I was pleasantly surprised to find that I knew many of the people there from the day before! Everyone was hugging us and was so happy to see us. What was even funnier was that from the day before Chantel had introduced me to everyone as Brandi but introduced Becky as Co-Co. Get it? Brandi and Coke. Everyone always laughs when I say my name is Brandi, so Chantel decided to make it even funnier and play along with my name! So when we got to church Becky was known as Co-co which made me laugh for a long time. We listened and participated in the service, from singing and swaying to listening to what the Pastor had to say. He proved a very good point when talking about giving saying “we don’t give out of abundance, we give out of lack”. I think that is such an important thing to remember.

We left the church service and headed home, to pack our things up and get ready to head back to the train station. What an incredible weekend. We had a debriefing meeting at Chantel’s house with all the families and people that spent the weekend. We talked about what we learned and what we will take away from it. The idea of joy was said and I had to agree. It really was one of the biggest things from the weekend. We said our goodbyes and headed to the train station. I know this sounds cliché but I left part of my heart in Ocean View. I left it there with the children I met, with the families I met and with the experiences I had. I left part of my heart but brought back so many memories. 

I wish I could say our adventure ended there, but that would be lying. We took the train home and as we were leaving a stop from the station the train stopped suddenly after it passed the platform. People outside of the trains from either side were looking under it. I thought we had run someone over. But then after I few minutes, the train started moving and I forgot about the incident. Little did I know that they reason the train had stopped was because one of my friends purse had been stolen as the train left the platform! Apparently a man had snatched her purse right from off her seat and had run off the train with it. Once he got off he just stood there looking at the train because it was pulling away. However, in those two second he stopped, the train stopped too and people jumped out to get her purse. Someone got it from him and he started to run. Locals and train people alike chased the man away. Thankfully my friend got her purse back and all was well…besides the fact that she was very shaken up. It was incredible to see how many people jumped to her aide and helped in a time of need. It’s interesting to think about what would happen if that happened in the US. Would anyone help stop the train? Probably not. I doubt that fifteen people would jump to her aide…let alone one or two. It’s just something to think about. We got off the platform at our stop and talked about it. We were in a separate train and didn’t realize all that had happened. I was so proud of her for handling the situation so well. Ben (our RA) picked us up and drove us home. 

This weekend was great. It was more then great-it was fun, exciting and joyful. I loved every second I got to spend there. I am so grateful for Chantel and the experience she proved us with through her organization and her connections with people in the community. I learned so much from this weekend. I learned how joy and love is the root of all families. But most of all, I learned that ‘giving doesn’t come out of abundance but out of lack’. That was a quote from church Sunday morning, and it will forever stick with me. Everyone gave so much to us this weekend, and even if they had nothing they gave even more then they had. It just makes me wish that everyone could be like this, instead of taking for himself or herself. Even giving your time is one of the most valuable things you can do for someone.

-       "Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."  -       - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

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