Rebecca learned many valuable lessons

Prior to leaving Cape Town reach co-educator wrote a paper in response to the following questions: How do you expect the experiences and knowledge gained this semester to influence your future career and life choices?; What have your learned about race and gender that you believe is important for you to know as you strive to become a more well informed global citizen?; What have you learned about yourself that you believe is important for you to know?  

Rebecca has agreed to post her answers as her final entry on this blog.

Coming to Cape Town was a huge step in my life.  Ever since high school I have been pretty sure I want to be a high school teacher, and history was always my favorite subject so I could not fathom teaching any other subject.  Last year I had a small panic attack over whether I should really be a teacher.  It took me a couple of months and volunteering with a government housing project’s community’s center to really remember the reasons I wanted to be a teacher.  After being here all semester I still want to be a teacher, but I have realized that I may eventually want to get my doctorate and become a professor.   Being here has made me realize that I don’t have to pick one.  I can do both.  I definitely learned this from talking with Marita and the other people who are on this experience.  Being in a classroom all semester and having a positive relationship with the students, made me realize that while yes I still see myself as being a strict teacher one day, I know that I can have fun in the classroom also.  This will also hopefully influence the way I act at my summer job.  Over the summer I am a counselor at a YMCA day camp.  I believe I just got promoted to a group leader position, which gives me much more responsibility than last summer.  While I won’t loose my organized, strict approach (I have to pick up the other counselor’s slack a lot) I hope to use some of the more relaxed discipline techniques I picked up at Christel House. 

           

I am scared of almost everything.  It’s kind of the way I go about life.  Even though this may not appear to be so, I now feel confident in my ability to travel abroad more often without having mind-numbing fears the entire time.  I want to travel around the world: Europe, India, China, South America, you name it, I want to go.  I also want to see more of the United States.  For the longest time my grandparents lived in Florida so every year on our vacation we would travel to see them.  While I would never trade those times, I feel like now I have more mobility to see the rest of our country.  As a nation we are very diverse, and because I want to be a history teacher I want to be able to see the rest of the country that I will be spending a lot of my time educating about. 

           

One very important thing I have learned about not even race, but about ridding the world of racism, is that we cannot ignore race.  That will not make racism go away.  By ignoring it, we are simply neglecting to acknowledge the fact that we are different and that is not just ok, but great.  We can all learn so much if we simply realize that our differences can bring us together instead of pushing us apart.  The first time I realized this was when we visited Elowabeeni and Brittany & Erica shared their experience, which was so radically different from the rest of ours.  This was the start, but it took many more such discussions for me to become comfortable to talk about race with people who don’t have the same skin color as me. 

Another thing I learned, or experienced, about race is how uncomfortable it can be, being the only person of a skin color in the room.  I have ridden on buses to Khayletshia where I am one of three white people (the others are all on our trip), in a classroom all day where I am the only white person.  I used to think well as long as no one acts racist someone’s who black, Asian, Indian, etc. will not feel out of place.  Well fortunately I have learned how untrue that thought could be.  Being white attracts attention almost everywhere I go in Cape Town.  I can’t hide it, I am always noticed.  Yet I have always felt more comfortable when someone acknowledges my skin color instead of just pretending they don’t notice it because I know they do.  It’s definitely a life lesson to learn, especially since I want to be a teacher.

           

Another thing I have learned about is white privilege.  To me this was the missing piece of the puzzle when talking about the system of meritocracy.  In a social anthropology class I took I learned that meritocracy was a myth, yet it didn’t make sense because my Dad and his siblings had all risen from the lower class to the middle class.  Learning that race is the piece of the puzzle that makes the meritocracy a myth for so many people, really made sense to me. 

           

Learning about gender images etc. was a really enjoyable process for me and it didn’t make me uncomfortable like discussions of race.  I knew about gender inequalities before coming here.  I grew up in a family of extremely strong women, which is why this wasn’t all new information.  I liked seeing all the things that make me think I need make-up to look better, or wear push-up bras etc. Some things I still don’t mind, like looking pretty, what I mind is that the standards for beauty are so narrow: a pretty face, impossibly skinny body, big boobs, long hair, etc.  It’s all impossible for the average women.  I grew up in a household of extremely gorgeous women (by society’s standards) and I was always the ugly duckling.  My sister is much skinnier than I, my Mom thinks she’s fat, my aunt and her two daughters spend more time getting ready in one day than I would spend in an entire week.  It was really crushing to my self-esteem.  My parents would always tell me that what really mattered was how smart and talented I was, but I got an entirely different message when I would see my Mom looking in the mirror and being dissatisfied constantly, or when my sister was the one who always got the compliments about her beauty and how thin she was, but I was the second thought.  Spending time with my Dad’s family was always so much better because instead of just saying that the important things were being smart and talented, they actually were.  No one ever dressed all fancy or wore lots of make-up.  I always got books for presents because they read and really loved them.

           

I will not lie and say that I can completely erase the way I think about myself and body image, but I am more aware of what made me think this way.  Not only this but I promise now, my daughters (or sons even though I really want girls haha) will never see me criticizing my body because it is not fair that we make young girls in our society feel this way. This fits in more with how this trip has influenced my future, and this is probably the most important thing I have learned.  It took me until high school to have the confidence in myself I now have, and it took a really amazing guy friend to show me how pretty I really am, and not by society’s standards but mine.  I want my future offspring to see the beauty in everyone starting from the day they’re born. 

In connection with becoming a global citizen, I can easily see now how people all over the world have different standards of beauty, and if this is true than there is no one way to be beautiful.  Understanding this I realize just like race is socially constructed, so is beauty.  There may be some science to how symmetry is attractive to the human eye, but that doesn’t explain the image of big boobs, skinny body, big butt etc.  I was looking through trip pictures today, and I have stunning pictures of everyone.  These people all mean so much to me, and are so good, that I can’t imagine thinking of them as anything other than beautiful, and I want to apply this to the rest of my life. 

           

Another important thing I learned is how important it truly is to not judge others.  I used to say, “No I’m not judging you,” when really I was in my head I just wasn’t saying it.  Here I learned a great deal about so many different people and their lives, which I really have learned to not judge people.  It was a hard lesson to learn, but I am definitely getting better at it.  Also it is important to not judge people, or write them off because they are different than you.  I never would have made these amazing friends if I met them all at UCONN.  I would have missed out on so much if I had not been thrown together with them in another country. 

           

What I have learned about myself may be more difficult for me to write about.  I have seen how selfish and ignorant I was when I would complain about minorities receiving preference occasionally when it would come to college acceptance or scholarships.  This may be the most important lesson I have learned all semester, In order to make the world an equal, better, place those who have privilege need to give some of it up.  It’s a hard lesson to grapple with especially because being white, I am privileged and I have had struggles in my life so the idea of maybe having more of them is definitely not appealing, but it must be done.  I have also learned that I am much stronger than I ever thought.  I am strong enough to advocate for change, even if it is a quiet way, I am strong enough to stick out from the crowd, and I am strong enough to stick up for myself when someone treats me poorly instead of just ignoring it. 

           

This time in Cape Town has changed my life.  I cannot begin to put everything down on paper.  It all means so much to me and I would not change anything.

Rebecca feeling protective towards her trip

So it’s been exactly a week since I left Cape Town, and I’m definitely still working on adjusting back to home. It’s weird to be back.  I won’t lie and say I’m not enjoying being back with my friends and family, but I miss Cape Town.

           

So far I’ve spent some time back at UCONN and at home with my family.  I like falling back into some of my familiar patterns.  I really miss my housemates, and co-educators though.  I may have minded the noise sometimes, but I miss all of them.  It’s an adjustment going from having people to talk to all the time, and getting to talk about the really important things, to only have three people (and my cat) in the house.  It’s oddly quiet sometimes. 

           

Sometimes when people have been asking about my trip I try to avoid answering with anything other than, “It was amazing. I had a great time and it changed my life.”  Revealing anything else almost scares me.  I’m scared that someone will judge what I’m saying and think I’m just being an idealist who doesn’t know anything.  It’s hard I want to keep my experiences locked inside me where no one can look at them funny and make sarcastic comments.  I don’t want anyone to tarnish my experience.  I know that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t share what I’ve learned with people, but it may take a while for me to feel less protective towards this trip. 

           

On a lighter note I crossed the street a couple days ago and a car actually stopped for me! For those who have never been to Cape Town, cars don’t EVER stop for pedestrians!

           

One of the questions people have asked me is, “Do you ever want to go back?” Unhesitating I answered, ”Yes.”  I knew I loved Cape Town while I was there, but after returning to the States I realized just how much.  It is such a unique, welcoming place, that I could not imagine never going back.  

Rebecca reflecting on how much she has learned

Today was the second to last day of my internship.  My teacher is actually going away with about half the students to a leadership camp, so it was the last day I was able to see all my students, and be in the classroom with my teacher.  I’m actually writing this blog as we all wait for the bus to come get us and bring us home.  I can’t believe that I was here for a whole three and half months! I feel like the time I spent here, at Christel House, went by way too fast.  I have made such strong connections with my students.  They’ve made me laugh and cry.  One student today said, “You’ve become part of the family: part of the Christel House Family.”  I was so touched by that one simple phrase that was said as casually as you can imagine: As if it was an unquestionable fact.   I could only smile, I was so speechless. I haven’t felt like an outsider since my first week.

My first week was actually difficult for me.  I’m the type of person who thrives on routine, order, and control.  When I walked into Christel House, I didn’t know what classroom I would be placed in, what I was supposed to do, or where to go.  Even not knowing where to eat my lunch really bothered me.  I felt so uncomfortable and out of place, simply because I felt really lost.  The next two days went in a similar manner.  Then things took a huge turn the next week.  I was in the same classroom for multiple days, I was getting a hang of the schedule, and I connected with the students.  Ever since then, I couldn’t imagine being placed at any other internship (thanks Vernon and Marita!). 

Throughout the entire day I’ve been trying not to break down in tears. I actually had to leave the classroom at one point because I just felt so overwhelmed by my feelings.   I knew that I would be upset, but this is different.  I resigned myself to the fact that I would leaving in the middle of the school year a long time ago, but now I’m having trouble with the fact that for a lot of the students, I may never talk to them again.  I won’t have to answer a hundred questions about my life, nor will I get to ask them thousands of questions about theirs.  Each one of them was a huge part of my Cape Town experience, and I learned as much from them as they may have learned from me.  I hope whoever reads this doesn’t feel bad for me because I’m leaving, but instead is happy that I feel so strongly about these students.  Christel House, and UCONN to Cape Town put me in a situation where there were no expectations for me.  I was able to make this experience what I wanted, and it was.  I got to observe, and assist an amazing teacher all semester.   Being an assistant in class allowed me the opportunity to get to really know the students. 

Christel house’s principal today told me that he enjoyed how I was always sitting and interacting with the students.  It was hard at first to put myself out there and start conversations with the learners, but soon it became second nature.  I would eat my lunch either really quickly or outside, so I could talk to them, and spent interval (tea time, or break) with the students also.  I won’t lie most of the students are closer in age to me, which was always interesting haha.  Some of the students shared stories with me that left me speechless because I couldn’t believe that people their age had experienced certain things, and even off hand comments would sometimes freeze me in my tracks.  They have been through more than most adults at home have, and they still have smiles on their faces (I mean they don’t smile all the time, they are at school haha). Yet most of the time I’m struck by how similar we all are.  In high school we all have crushes, problems, tests, arguments with teachers, etc.

I sit here as a person with her lap top, iPod in ears, a cell phone in my bag, now appreciating how lucky I am to have these things. I also sit here with clothes on my back, more clothes at home, food to eat, books to read, a hot shower waiting, electricity, a family of 17 students down the road, a loving family made of my mom, dad, Alexa, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, a safe home, a place where I can walk around all the time and never feel endangered..  Some of these things I’ve always known I was lucky to have, but being in Cape Town has shown me the mass amounts of people who don’t have those things.  I can’t believe how much I have learned, and I will always remember Christel House.

Rebecca on the final days in Cape Town

So the time is coming when I will be leaving Cape Town.  Maybe it will only be for a few years or maybe it will be forever.  Who knows?  I hope it won’t be forever, but I’m honestly not sure.  I’m going to miss so many things about this trip and being here.  I can’t imagine waking up and not having sixteen people to talk to, or being up late at night and having the same thing.  The friendships I’ve made here mean so much to me. 

This week was actually really sad.  We had our last week of tutoring with the Firefighters (the soccer team in Khayelitshia) and our last week with our little sisters.  I hope we can all keep in touch.  I guess I’m having trouble writing this because this was a weird week.  It is all starting to get really sad and it’s too hard for me to put down my feelings about saying goodbye.

I had a great weekend though! I went shopping and out to eat a few times.  For anyone who knows me, they know that whenever I’m at UCONN, I can be a pretty stressed and busy person.  Being in Cape Town has given me the opportunity to have fun again, and realize that the world won’t end if I don’t spend all of my time doing something that’s scholarly productive.  Don’t get me wrong I still have fun at UCONN, but I am much more carefree when I am here.  Not only is this city conducive to me having fun, the group of people I’m with make me have fun.   They are all so different and I know that this trip would have been very different without each one of them.

Right now I’m lying on my bed loading over 800 pictures onto my computer.  I think the sheer number of pictures I have on my lap top shows how many amazing memories I will have when I leave this trip.  I have one more week and even though I can’t wait to be home, I’m looking forward to my last week in Cape Town.

Rebecca: can't choose your family--or study abroad housemates!

So yesterday was Easter and it is still Passover.  For me I’ve been pretty bummed for the past week about missing the holidays and not being able to see my family.  Last night made it a little better though.

The story starts around 6PM.  Picture a house full of seventeen college students, all different majors, ages, races, etc.  We all start coming together to make dinner for the entire house.  People are baking, scrambling eggs, making French toast, chopping potatoes, and in general just working together.  We had breakfast for dinner which was the most enjoyable meal I’d had all week.  Sometimes we don’t all get along.  We might fight over the dirty dishes or how tidy we want the house, but last night everyone put aside their differences for a few hours and just enjoyed.

Nicole, Brittany, Erica, Rebecca

When we started eating some people came up with the idea for everyone to say what they were thankful for.  At first I was a little wary because I didn’t know if people would be serious, but then we all started.  It was really awesome to hear the different thoughts people voiced, and even though I only said two things I agreed with everyone else.  It was an almost magical night, because we don’t sit together enough (without being in class) and just enjoy each other’s company as a whole group.  Yeah we spend lots of time together, but it’s usually in smaller groups, or we’re running around touring Cape Town.  Not once have I felt the peace and harmony in the house that I felt last night.  It reminded me how short my time here is; that I will actually be leaving in three weeks and that I will really miss my fellow students.  We are like a family (a dysfunctional one most of the time) but a family nonetheless.  I had been having a really rough emotional week, where I just wanted to curl up and be left alone.  I know a good deal of that stemmed from missing the holidays at home.  I finally realized that I had been overlooking the people who live in the same house as me.  There are so many different personalities to interact with in this house, that there is always someone to talk to.  I was just pushing myself away from them. 

 Ever heard that saying, “You can’t choose your family?”  People use it to reinforce the fact that yeah sometimes you don’t always get along with your family, or you may not like all of them, but they’re still your family.  That’s what the people in this house are to me. Yeah so what, we’re not all the same, and we may fight, but hey we didn’t pick each other and we depend on each other here.  We were thrown together by fate, just like family members.    My experience here would not have been the same without each and every one of my “co-educators” (Marita, McComiskey).  So if any of them are reading this I just want to say, Thank-you

Rebecca enjoying a soccer tournment

I went to a soccer tournament.  Yes, me, Rebecca Duchesneau, went to a soccer tournament.   I wouldn’t exactly call myself a sport enthusiast yet, but I really enjoyed the weekend where I ended up watching more soccer games in two days, than I have in my entire life.

Fire Fighters Under 11 team

The team I was cheering for all day is called The Firefighters. They’re from Khayelitsha (one of the townships in South Africa).  I honestly know nothing about soccer, but I can tell you these guys are really good at what they do.  I know because our Under 11 team made it to the Finals, the Under 15 team made it to the Seim-finals, so they must be pretty good right?! The Firefighters are a really special team, from their coaches to their players.  I guess I’ll talk about their coaches first, Power, and Bongi.  They are honestly two of the friendliest and most welcoming people I have ever met.  Not only that but the way they treat their players stood out from many of the other coaches there.  They treat their players with such respect, and are always encouraging them. After a loss I watched Bongi hug his upset players, and make them see how well they actually did. Every game they could, the boys watched each other; the older ones watched the younger ones, and vice versa.  They were constantly there supporting each other, and rooting the other team on.  When the eleven and unders lost, the older guys all came onto the field and told them what a good game they had played and encouraged them to take a lap around the field in front of all the spectators.  These guys are a family, and really care about one another. They’re not just a team. 

Rebecca helps distribute sandwiches between games

At the finals it was really hard to see all the supporters for the opposing teams, and maybe a handful of us for the Firefighters.  (Of course that only encouraged the few of us to scream and cheer as loud as we possibly could, and it’s not like we don’t already stick out as the white Americans in the crowd haha).  That’s not to say that our guys don’t have a support network, but it really showed me how lucky I and everyone else is, that growing up our parents could take the day off and come cheer us on and support us with whatever we were involved in or that they had a car and were able to come to these important events in our lives.

The Firefighters are not well-funded, sponsored, don’t have the fancy gear and matching warm-ups that the other teams do, but they have each other.  Whether that comes off as corny or cheesy, it’s true. They have a real team.  Real because they are a support system for each other in every sense of the word.

I’m actually having a really hard time writing this, because I want to do the Firefighters justice and I feel like my words aren’t enough to really explain how special this soccer team is.  I want people to understand that this is an amazing story.  Maybe not like any of the famous sports movies like, The Titans, or Miracle, but a real one that I see whenever I’m with these guys.

Rebecca on expanding her comfort

Several things should have given my parents clues that I would end up in Africa sooner or later: My sister and I watching The Lion King 2 every single snow day (even if we had multiple days off in a row), me wearing a leopard print prom dress to senior prom, etc.  Yeah I guess these are shallow examples, but I was trying (and failing) at a humorous approach to this topic.  To be perfectly honest I had no idea I would ever end up living in South Africa for an entire semester. 

           
Starting when I entered high school, I knew I wanted to spend a semester of college abroad.  My Auntie Rose, Auntie Lil, and Cousin Stephanie are always traveling and I was always jealous of the places they saw and experienced.  My Mom and Dad traveled a lot before my sister and I (wonderful, amazing, fabulous, exciting blessings by the way) were born.  I was, and still am, inspired by the spirit of adventure and curiosity found in their adventures.  So all this led me to my freshmen year of college where I began researching different study abroad programs.  I originally planned on traveling to some place in Europe, like many other college students.  I went in circles for months researching countries and international universities.  One day while I was in a group on campus called Honors Council, I out right asked the opinion of our awesome faculty supervisor.  Without hesitation she said, “Go to Cape Town.”  When I walked back to my dorm room I looked up the program, and UCONN in Cape Town skyrocketed to the top of my list.  I applied in the fall, and when I received my acceptance I jumped around my room screaming and cheering! 

           

I guess I wanted to share that with people because I personally believe that everything happens for a reason, and I hope that other college students will take a leap of faith and go somewhere atypical if they decide to study abroad. 

             

Now I’m here in our house’s dining room, having just come back from Johannesburg (one of South Africa’s capital cities) and Kruger NationalPark where I got to go on a safari.  Yeah, my spring break really rocked! I got to see animals like elephants, hippos, rhinos, giraffes, zebras, warthogs, hornbills, and meercats.  I also went to the Apartheid Museum and the Hector Pietersen Memorial and Museum (the museum explored the South African student protests during Apartheid and if you want to know more do a little research).  This interactive, and alternative approach to education, helped me feel a connection to the history I was learning.  As a future history teacher I never want to stop experiencing different ways of educating, and learning. 

           

Speaking of learning, I always say I’m learning so much and that I feel as if I have changed in these last few months of being in Cape Town.  The problem is when I say this people want some sort of precise list that exactly points out how I have changed….I can’t give someone a list, and I seriously doubt I will be able to deliver such a list when I arrive home.  It is not as if I simply died my hair hot pink, grew five inches, and got a tattoo (don’t worry Mom and Dad I haven’t done any of that, it’s just an example!)  The changes I, and my fellow students, have made are not on the surface but are inside us somewhere (probably next to my spleen actually, ahaha just kidding).  It might be in the willingness we now have to fight for what we believe in, or a larger awareness of the world, stronger interest in the politics that affect our everyday lives, or maybe something like we realize the importance of having fun.  I’ve seen these changes in my fellow students and myself, yet even as I type them now they don’t capture the true essence of our change; maybe someone with a stronger vocabulary would be able to but I can’t. 

           

I guess what follows next is probably another random thought that I want to add to this blog.  While sitting in one of our amazing professor’s classes, we were working on a group project when the highly intelligent Theresa said “This program should be about expanding your comfort zone, not stepping out of it.”  I immediately had to write that down.  I had never thought of that before and it made so much sense to me.  My parents and I constantly discussed how my travel to South Africa would be me stepping out of my comfort zone completely because I am such a homebody, but not once did I ever think of it as me widening that comfort zone so I will be able to continue doing things like this for the rest of my life.  I hope that I will never be merely content with myself: I want to continue changing and growing.  Maybe other people will see that quote differently but to me this is what it means.  It encompasses what the true purpose of this trip will pose for me and the great people I am on this trip with. 

Rebecca expanding horizons as she plays with kids at the Boys and Girls Club in Soweto.

Rebecca: full moon over Lion's Head

View from Lion's Head at full moon

Last night I got to see all of Cape Town light up in the evening sky.  Around 6 o’clock in the evening almost all of us participating in this program hiked up Lion’s Head, which is a mountain overlooking Cape Town.  It is right in the middle of the city!  The hike took about an hour and certain parts were a little treacherous (at least for someone like me who’s scared of heights).  I felt a huge sense of accomplishment when I reached the top because I couldn’t complete the hike up Table Mountain and I felt like I had something to prove to myself.  About a month before I left for Cape Town I contracted the virus Mono and just haven’t felt like myself (health-wise) since, but I think I got a little bit of myself back when I reached the top of Lion’s Head.

               

Kelsey & Rebecca climbing Lion's Head

Once we reached the top we got a spot on the mountain looking West so we could see the sunset over the ocean.  It was really beautiful.  It was almost as if the sun was melting into the water.  Then I moved to the other side of the mountain to watch the noon rise.  This was probably the best part.  The moon was so big and bright.  The sky was all pretty pastels, and then slowly the lights of Cape Town began to turn on.  It was breathtaking watching all of the flickering lights turn on.  Soon the city was completely lit up and the sky was bright with the full moon.  Table Mountain and the Twelve Apostles (a set of peaks next to Table Mountain) had clouds on them that made the mountains look like waterfalls. 

Clouds ove Twelve Apostles

Unfortunately we had to hike back down with the hundreds of people that had decided to ascend the mountain just like we had.  Early on our hike back down I looked up and all of the people looked as if we were ants on a giant anthill (haha).  It was pretty cool that people from all over had come to do the exact same thing we did.   Then when I got further down the mountain I looked back up and my breath was taken away.  All along the trail you could see just see the glow from flashlights against the outline of the mountain.  It was just so amazing.  Of course I was exhausted and my muscles are pretty sore, but it was totally worth it!

Rebecca on families here and there

A couple of days ago February ended and it seemed as if March had snuck up on me.  To most people, this simple passing of the month does not mean much, but to me it meant a lot.

1. I have managed to survive on another continent without my family.
2. March 1^st means I have exactly two months left before I land back in the United States.
3. I am able to cook, and keep myself alive for an entire month and a half. (haha that one was supposed to be funny)

If anyone reading this is with me on this trip, I’m sorry because you’ve heard what I’m about to blog about in person about one thousand times, but here I go anyway.   So in relation to that list up there, I am incredibly close to my family.  My parents, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. have always played important roles in my life.  They all mean so much to me and this is the longest I’ve ever been away from them, especially my parents.   The hardest thing is that communication is a lot more difficult here than at home.  When I’m at UCONN I can just pick up my cell phone and call or text my family anytime I want.  Here it costs a good amount of money, and the time difference can make communication hard.  Also sometimes the internet isn’t the best here, so skype calls may not work.

                  

Ok so old me would have looked at all these problems and probably reconsidered coming to South Africa; new me realizes that while I am super close with my family, sometimes a little discomfort and sadness can be worth an amazing experience, which Cape Town is.  All of these thoughts popped back into my head after staying for three nights in a family’s home in Ocean View all weekend.  The family I stayed with took me in with so much love and kindness that I found my heart aching for the family I have back home.

Even though I got a little homesick again,  I learned a few really valuable lessons from the people I stayed with.   The one that still sticks out most in my mind is that no matter how much or how little you have, you should always share whatever you can.   You don’t need to have a mansion and a yacht to welcome people into your home and make them feel as if they have a second family.  The people I stayed with worked as much, and hard as they could because they pay every month to send their two amazing children to school. This does not leave them with much extra, but what extra they do have they use to help and welcome others into their lives.  

Nicole, Kelsey, Becky, Kimmi, Brandi, Rebecca, Rina, Kristin, & Maria
with Chantel Daniels and host families from Ocean View

Rebecca: Growing is hard but worth the emotional strain

I can’t believe that I have only been in Cape Town for a little over a month.  On one hand it feels as if I have been here forever, and on the other it feels like I was stepping exhausted off a plane just yesterday.  In one of our first classes one of our RA’s said, “Growing is hard.” When he talked about growing, he meant as a person (not height wise: I gave up on that one many years ago).  When I originally decided to come to Cape Town I knew that one of the reasons I chose this program was that I thought I would become a better and well-rounded person; I never thought that this would be the result of a lot of hard work.  It includes crying, raging, and just in general dealing with not only the problems of South Africa but also the problems present in the United States.  Every day here I learn and experience something new, and it is definitely worth the emotional strain. 

 On a more positive note, one of the aspects of this program that I love the most is my internship at Christel House, South Africa.  It is a school from Grade R (kindergarten) to Matric (Grade 12).  At first I was not quite sure if I would fit-in and be able to enjoy my internship.  Last week my fears were assuaged, and I began to have the most amazing time at this school.  It is not just the fact that I am an intern in a classroom, it is being able to talk to the learners (another word for students in South Africa) about their lives, and having conversations with them about the differences between my home and theirs.  They all are so different from one another, and in so many ways remind me of my peers when I was in high school.  It is so refreshing to know that no matter where you are, and how different people’s lives are, kids will be kids.  On Valentine’s Day, the high schoolers had a talent show, and wow, what talent these students have.  The singers were amazing, musicians, poets, and everyone else just had massive amounts of talent.  Their peers were cheering them on, and having a picnic on the quad.  I felt so happy being a part of everything that was going on, and it filled me with joy seeing how happy the students were.  Some of them lead really tough lives at home, and yet at school they get the opportunity to learn and be in a healthy, and hopefully supportive environment. 

For my internship I observe a classroom, and participate by adding in my perspective and knowledge to the lessons being taught.  Some people would complain if they were in my situation, because at the moment I am not doing too much teaching.  I on the other hand, appreciate the opportunity to learn from the teacher I observe, because he is so passionate about the students and what he is teaching.  He also presents topics in a way that I have never considered, so each day I learn something new.   I am also becoming close to the students I interact with, and I feel so bad when I explain that I only go to Christel House Monday through Wednesday.   I often find myself wishing that I could spend every day of the week with them, because the students and teachers are just so amazing.  Don’t get me wrong, there are moments when I feel uncomfortable or out of place, but every day there are less and less of these moments.  Oh and as an update for all who know me, I am no longer painfully homesick!

Rebecca on the challenges of communal living

Rebecca & Kimmi

Loch Road, South Africa: Where the seventeen of the twenty-one students writing this blog currently reside.  That’s a lot of people in one house sharing kitchens, bathrooms, and common living areas.  I have decided that one of the biggest challenges on this study abroad program is communal living.  Most of us have never lived in a house with this many students our age, and at times it can really be a challenge.   There are two kitchens in the house, and so far one of the major challenges we have all faced is the issue of dirty dishes: Who does them? How often? And Who empties the drying rack? In the house there are three differing opinions in response to these questions: One is that everyone takes care of their own dishes IMMEDIATELY after they are used, Two is that it is acceptable to leave your dishes in the sink and wash them at a later date, and then the last group consists of those who do not care when the dishes are done.  Other kitchen issues have included the cleanliness of countertops, refrigerator space, and who should be using which of the two kitchens.  In a house of seventeen people, these trivial issues all of a sudden become the catalysts for heated debates.  At one of our house meetings, (we have house meetings once a week that are facilitated by our two wonderful Resident Assistants) conversations centering around the kitchen were lasting an absurd amount of time.   While we were all concerned about the kitchen, people ten minutes away from us don’t even have kitchens. 

Kitchen rules are not the only issue we have to deal with due to communal living, but it is one that for me highlights how fortunate I am.  I am living in another country, in a house much larger than any I have ever lived in, with an amazing group of peers, when so many people in South Africa are living in informal housing structures with no running water or appliances.  The fact that we all even have the opportunity to argue over kitchen space and cleanliness highlights the many amenities we have available to us. 

Another trial of communal living is being sensitive to the needs of others.  When we live at home with a family, we know the rules, and we know we always be forgiven for a fauz pas in our household behavior.  Here, we are living with students that we have only known for a few months, and we all have to set the rules together.  I know that personally I value my sleep, so I don’t like noise late at night.  I could either have thought about it for months and let the issue become larger, or spoken up for myself which is what I did.  Being respectful and conscious of all the other house mates can be really difficult especially when there are opposing living styles.  My teacher Marita made a very good point today which was that communal living can be the most difficult part of the trip because it usually is not one of the challenges that students expect to face when coming to South Africa.  Many people in the house are very strong-minded (which I’m not saying is good or bad) leading to many arguments over trivial issues such as clean dishes.  One of the prime questions I have to constantly be asking myself is, “Is this issue important enough for me to argue over it?”  Most of the time the answer to that question is no.  I think I, and many other people in the house, need to ask ourselves this question more often. 

I hope that those of you who read this blog aren’t bored by my choice of a topic for this blog post. To me sometimes the everyday issues we face in our lives are important to reflect upon.  I’ve never had to live with this many people before and I think it is leading to me being more flexible in my everyday life.