Mackenzie: reflections on her experience

Prior to leaving Cape Town reach co-educator wrote a paper in response to the following questions: How do you expect the experiences and knowledge gained this semester to influence your future career and life choices?; What have your learned about race and gender that you believe is important for you to know as you strive to become a more well informed global citizen?; What have you learned about yourself that you believe is important for you to know?  

Mackenzie has agreed to post her answers as her final entry on this blog.

Honestly, it is going to be hard to put into words how influenced I have been by this semester. I have never been more grateful in my life as I am to have been accepted into this program. I know I can’t even fully see the changes in myself, and that they will truly blossom once I arrive back in my normal environment. However, I already feel the shifts within myself, and every moment here has been amazing. First off- aside from being in South Africa, being around this amazing group of my own fellow citizens has been probably one of the most life-changing experiences in my life thus far. I have never met people who have led me to question so much, who have taught me to self-reflect and to accept. These young adults chosen to come on this trip truly are unique, and I can say that with all of my heart. Each one of them has touched me in so many amazing ways. I learn even the smallest things about life from them, just from a simple conversation. I have learned what it is like to live and interact with people who are not the same as me – and that has affected me greatly. I grew comfortable with these new people, as we embarked on some uncomfortable experiences together. I learned to be patient with myself in opening up with these people. I learned who I was, and I’m so happy these individuals helped me to do that. Our classroom on Tuesday nights was, although long J, such a wild learning experience. Getting to see videos and learn about things that ACTUALLY matter has affected me greatly. I hate to knock UCONN, but I know I have spent many hours in classrooms in which I know I am learning things that will not matter to me later in life. But this class will stay with me forever. This class discusses issues that are so crucial to the bettering of this earth. Being in a space where we could learn, and then reflect, and then learn from each other was incredibly effective. Ideas that may have never crossed my mind were presented to me by my peers – I now fully understand why they are called my co-educators J. The class put us all on an even playing feel, often times that included Marita. We were learning from her, and she was learning from us – and it was beautiful. We respected each other, even when we disagreed.

Being at Christel House is something that is difficult to even begin to touch on. I fell in love with my students, and the staff. I am not sure how I am going to bring myself to leave, but I know that I am forever indebted to that school and the love it showed me. Watching my teacher, Ms. Angela, enthusiastically teach 30 5 year olds has been so motivating. The love she has for them inspires me, and reminds me of the wonderful people that exist on this earth. Amongst the bad things taking place in our world, here was a huge sighting of good. I learned that I did not want to be a social worker, I wanted to be a more nurturing role to these children. While a social worker does get to know children intimately, I observed that my teacher got to spend all day everyday with these kids – and that allowed her to be a more crucial role in their lives. It is something I am interested in, and will look into in the future. Career-wise, I have learned that I’m not entirely sure I am meant for one career – or a normal job. I have found some disagreement between myself and our current capitalist society. I’m sure all young people go through this, but I find myself (from much I have experienced on this trip) feeling as though I do not fit into the westernized society, and a lot of questions have gone through my mind. I have learned that there is no right or wrong way, and what seemed to be the right way of living fails to exist anymore in my mind. I have learned that what has showed to be the “natural” way of living has in fact been created, and because of this I am looking to my own heart and mind to dictate my life – as opposed to external sources. I have come to see that I become most anxious and stressed when I feel out of control in my life – and simply having the chance to observe this and acknowledge it has helped me a great deal. Being able to identify the source of stress is an incredible thing.

 Being in South Africa, surrounded by people who are not of my own race, has taught me to love and see all people for who they are. I am so in love with the children in my kindergarten class – I see them as young souls, as young lives. I have learned to acknowledge the beauty of their skin, while learning that it is not a barrier between us. From talking with my co-educators, I have learned a lot about fear of black people. I talked a bit with Mike about being afraid and cautious when you walk down the streets in the city here in Cape Town. To me, yes at times I am afraid, but I always feel that I would like to smile at everyone – to treat them as though they are not something to be feared. We then got into the discussion that some of these people are in fact criminals and may inflict harm on us. While I see that, I have learned that this is a sick cycle. If we continue to treat black people as criminals (even if some are) then we contribute to their actions – that may be negative. I think I would rather put myself in danger by waving or smiling at someone that “looks” suspicious if it would in any slight way give them the idea that they are a lovely human being – no matter what their actions or skin color. I have put the responsibility more so on myself, to change my own mind and behaviors, rather than looking to help unfortunate communities. I guess that sounds bad, but I really believe that if the root of the problem lies in white people – then that is where the fixing should begin. So I put it on myself to monitor my own thoughts and actions.  In terms of gender – I have learned a great deal in the classroom. From Disney movies to articles, I have much more respect and understanding for feminism than I did prior to this semester. I don’t think I understood it at first – but I realize there is a need to bring awareness to our society of the oppression of women. In places women think they are empowered, they are in fact not. I know many people I know are still blind to this and honestly would probably like to remain blind. That is a frustrating thing I have to deal with as I bring light to the oppression I’m receiving.

I touched on it earlier, but I have learned A LOT about myself through this program. The most important thing I have come to learn is to understand myself. I have spent so much time in my young life comparing what is going on inside of me to what “should” be going on. Our culture paints a picture of our lives for us and if what is truly going on doesn’t match up (which is almost always the case) then we suffer. I have suffered a great deal because of this fact. On the surface level, I recognize media’s impact on me. I used to suffer from an eating disorder, and I see now how a picture was painted of thin=happy. It is not the case. I am angered now that I know media’s ultimate purpose is to a.) get money from us and b.) distract us from things that truly matter and are going on in our country. I now feel less inclined to be a certain weight, to look pretty, to be SOMETHING for SOMEONE ELSE. I have learned to be truer to my own heart, and while I have a long way to go- its good to know I’ve gotten started. I have learned to think critically. That while it feels good to believe in something, it is important to keep questioning and keep an open mind for new opinions and perspectives to come through. I have learned to trust people, as I have developed close relationships with many people in this house. I have learned that I don’t like to be over committed, and while some may call that lazy, I happen to see it as kinder and practical (for myself). I have learned that the feeling inside me that something has been off can be justified by the fact that world that we live in is not natural and is growing to be bad for all. I have had the opportunity to be introduced to books like Ishmael and figures such as Noam Chomsky. I know that I have a lot of discovering to do but this trip has been such a great opportunity to see myself clearly. This trip provided me the space to be totally honest with my thoughts and opinions, and I am inspired to do more things like this in the future.

Mackenzie on the incomprehensible loss of a child

I would like to dedicate this blog to a young boy in my Grade R class that has unfortunately passed away. I know it is a heavy topic, but I feel that this event has so much to say about the world we live in. First of all, I’d just like to say that what I could say about him in this blog post could never be enough, and dedicating it to him is not even close to what he deserves. This boy was a beautiful child, with the sweetest smile and laugh. He was such a well-behaved child, despite the fact that he had to learn in a language that was not his mother tongue. He was patient, and so kind with me – a stranger that he hadn’t known for very long. My favorite memory is of him on the playground, showing me his flips and somersaults. There was a language barrier between us, but we connected in other ways. I’ve never truly known a young person that has died, and it is a concept that still doesn’t make sense in my head. I’m not sure if its right for me to be writing about him in a blog post, I feel as if it is partly demeaning and almost normalizes his passing. But I feel that there is a message that I want to convey to anyone who might not see it or may still be blind to the effects of racism.

Racism is deadly. In our world I feel as though we see tragedies happening within minority groups, but we don’t give their cause a right name. We watch movies in which character’s living in “ghettos” die from drugs, or gun wars or anything like that. So we stop at that. We stop at what we are seeing, and we see the cause of their death and misfortune as the situation. The cause is not what it seems. Those gun wars and incidents with drugs would not be occurring if racism did not exist. If we did not oppress a certain group so that they were forced to live and survive among themselves, their deaths would not occur. They would not be forced to resort to joining gangs or selling drugs to survive.

I know that in the US many people still believe that people in poverty perpetuate it themselves. People somehow believe that these minorities choose to live with hardship. What about the child I knew? Did that 5 year old choose to live in a home and area that is prone to accidental fires? Did he choose to live in an unsafe environment? I don’t think so. And that’s why I think this incident is so important. It becomes clear, at least to me, when an innocent child is put in these circumstances due to society. Would his parents have honestly chosen to raise their children in an unsafe environment? Absolutely not. No one would choose to do that.

It’s easy to roll our eyes when someone calls us out for saying a racist comment, but there is direct connection to that comment and the tragedies happening to minorities in my country and South Africa. Those comments lead to societies that accept oppression of certain groups of people, and therefore allow tragedies such as the death of a young innocent boy. This child should have never had to grow up in such an unsafe environment. Because of his skin color? Its absurd and I am having so much trouble grasping this concept. It pains me to think that his young life was cut short because people in this world need to label and put people in categories to comfort themselves. It angers me that people in this world, including myself sometimes, must belittle other’s lives so that their own can be more meaningful. It makes me sick that the death of this child will go unnoticed and won’t faze those who contributed to its cause. Why did this child have to suffer at the cost of someone else needing more control in the world?

Myself and many of the people I know have choices. But we need to consider those that do not. We need to consider and recognize the luxury we have to choose, and the fact that our choices often affect those who do NOT have choices. For the sake of this child, and people young and old like him all around the world – we need to be more conscious in our choices. We must act more carefully, to avoid perpetuating unfortunate circumstances. As white female, I have such a luxury (and sometimes burden) of choice and I know I need to use this privilege in a positive way.   

Mackenzie: a different experience of the excursion

Recently, we had a week off of our internships to be sent off on an excursion to the city of Johannesburg  and then a safari in Kruger National Park. The thought of being able to see big game in their natural habitat was an exciting one for me. However, I felt a background presence of anxiety within me. I was unsure what to do about this, and simply went about preparing for the trip. I woke up the next day for the trip, and still had a lingering anxiety. I felt less like myself than I had the entire trip. Unfortunately, I had to keep pushing through – as I had no choice in the matter. I found myself at museums through-out Jo’burg being unable to fully appreciate the information they contained. I even began to have trouble sleeping. It seemed that metaphorically I was on a bus that I couldn’t get off of and I did not have any control over. I didn’t realize why I felt so anxious – but at some point I realized that my lack of choice during the week of our excursion is what truly got to me. While I am seriously grateful that we had such an informative trip planned for us (meals included for the most part), I felt like I was in an odd position. I am a young adult, but the situation felt as though we were in high school. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just elicited truly odd feelings. I wasn’t sure how to react, but once I was able to understand myself – things became a bit easier to handle.

Our excursion was full of so much rich information about South Africa’s history, but I found myself learning so much about myself. It was so incredibly unexpected. I had the opportunity to be introspective. I was able to learn that I am particularly vulnerable in situations that I feel I have no choice. I began to notice this in other areas of my life, whether on the big or large scale. I learned its important for me to be honest with myself and to learn to distinguish between whether something is a choice of mine or an obligation. This trip was important for me in learning how important honesty and acceptance are. What gave me the most anxiety was that I felt like I should be completely appreciating all of this amazing history. I was at odds with what I was truly feeling and I wasn’t be honest with myself.

So at first although I was apprehensive about our excursion, I now see how valuable it was in helping me learn things about myself. 

Mackenzie on the importance of questioning

Last week I had a nice break from my internship- due to a worker’s strike, school at Christel House was cancelled for the day, so myself and fellow Christel House internees were left to do as we pleased. In the afternoon I headed over to the flat, as I rarely get to do so. We gathered around a computer screen as facebook blew up with notifications about Kony 2012. We were overwhelmed – and instantly downloaded and watched the video. The video won us over, we were inspired and amazed. It urged us to make Joseph Kony’s name known to everyone – to let our leaders know we wanted a military presence in Uganda to end this supposed tragedy. I, personally, was completely inspired by the video and wanted to learn more and do everything I could to help these people. I immediately sent it to my parents; two adults who I thought could do something. Soon after, however, Kony 2012 began to be seriously questioned. All over media sites like reddit and facebook people were sharing their opinions about Kony 2012. At first I wanted to defend this movement and myself. I wanted to believe it was innocent, and that their goals were innocent. This soon faded and curiosity took over. I wanted to know more about the truth of Kony 2012. Now, after speaking to many of my housemates and doing some research, I find that this project is not so innocent. I am frightened of how quickly I came to support the decision to move troops into a foreign country. This whole situation seemed familiar, and suddenly connections were being made. After 9/11, we took one day as a country to decide we were going to war. We wanted to believe we were doing it for the right reasons. To get revenge, to ensure justice was seen. Now a decade has passed and we see we moved far too quickly. We did not question. We did not take our time. We acted. We listened, assumed, and made decisions that have cost many their lives.

I think the most important thing I have learned thus far in Cape Town has been to question things critically. My friends here have showed me how important it is to pay attention to where your information is coming from. Never have I been so shocked and frightened to how manipulated we have been as people of America. Our intentions are good, but we have lost the ability to think for ourselves. It is easy to see – of course we would love to have beliefs. We would love to trust the leaders of our country, our moms and dads. But we put so much in danger by not questioning. If I had not been curious enough or open enough to listen to my peers here in Cape Town I would not have realized the truth of Kony 2012. Even if it is NOT the truth (as there is not concrete truth) it is extremely important for me to consider both sides. To never accept one argument without at least looking critically at the other.  I do not blame any one, I think we all would like to believe people have good intentions. But I need to notice these things. It is unfortunate to think that our government does not act in the interest of the people, but it is what is proving to be true. I feel as though I can see this situation in Cape Town. It would not be a surprise to me if the apartheid came about due to similar circumstances. People receiving information about blacks or coloreds and trusting instead of questioning. We can trace this through out time, in slavery in the U.S. We believed the thoughts that whites were above African Americans. Perhaps if a large group of people had questioned this thought, it could have been reversed.

On a smaller scale, we encounter the importance of critical questioning in our own lives- on a personal level. We let our egos take over – whether they be fear or self doubt or negativity. We believe this part of ourselves, and it dictates what we say and do. We do not spend enough time observing. When we sit with ourselves, we can see where the dysfunction arises. We can trace where our negative thoughts and tendencies come from – and there for chose whether to believe them or not. I think if we did this on a smaller scale in our selves, things like the manipulation of the American people would not happen on the bigger scale. We are often sleep walking through life. We are not awake, and often we are not paying attention to why we feel and act the way we do. It starts with self-observation. When you truly know and understand yourself, you can respond to life – rather than react. If we can do this in our world, we can put off acting out of impulse. The consequences of our actions will be included in our plans.

The human species is not a perfect one – good and bad exists within all of us. But we must take the responsibility to observe these parts of ourselves, and understand ourselves. We are all responsible for our own inner environment, and when we critically question and understand it – we will create a better environment in this world.

Mackenzie on "Me and Mine"

This past weekend we were bussed off to a human rights weekend. I hate to say this now, but me and many of my housemates were not thrilled. We knew little details about the weekend, and I think this is what aggravated us most. We were fearful of the unknown, wanting to know what we would be doing and more so WHY. I now reflect on these thoughts and feel like a jerk. We arrived on an olive farm, and I can say with confidence that simply because we were surrounded by such beauty that I was in good spirits most of the weekend. We were in the middle of nowhere, a long drive away from shops and things of that sort. All you could see for miles was spacious farms and a mountain behind us.  All this beauty allowed me to be in my own skin, and it was the first time I’ve felt that way in a while. We also had the pleasure of working with about 20 people (most older than us) that lived in South Africa. Many were from other countries such as Congo, Zimbabwe, Kenya and Tanzania to name a few. All of this new interaction with these unfamiliar people led me to realize how close I am with my housemates – and I enjoyed that realization. On the second day of our human rights weekend, we were divided into four teams and each team had to chose a country in Africa to represent. We then were presented with a situation – overpopulation had caused all the countries to flee to a new planet. On this new planet – only 1/3 had natural resources. One of the countries (Egypt) had landed in this area, so you can imagine the stress put upon them as they created new rules and rights for themselves. We all gathered after reflecting on our situation, and an argument arose of how this new planet would operate. Egypt felt that because they had landed in this area, they had to make certain rules and that in a way was theirs. A dispute arose, and it led many people – including myself – to question what exactly entitles one to call something “mine”.

While some of our wars on this earth have been fought for justice and things that are relatively real concepts – many of them have been fought over possessions. Land, oil, money, lives, etc. I’m beginning to think that many problems that exist in life are due to this thought of me and mine. As I’ve said before in a previous blog, I am very interested in the study of yoga, meditation, and the Buddhist culture. A lot of what I study is about the illusion of the me and mine. We hold on so tightly to our possessions, our thoughts, our emotions, our identities, the stories we’ve created about ourselves – our lives REVOLVE around what we consider to be “mine”. The fact is – we are not permanent. The body, thoughts, emotions, cars, friends will not stay ours forever. We will, at some point, have the same fate as every other life and that is death. The superficial life we once had will come to an end. So how can we say ever that any of these things are truly ours? We create a lot more problems for ourselves when we develop this idea. Because when we lose these things or something changes – we suffer. We experience a “loss”. But the truth is that life is full of losing. It is full of loss and gains. But you cannot have one without the other.

Nothing is permanent. And nothing is truly “mine”.  We spend our lives defending, trying to keep what is “mine” and we hurt others in doing so. What is “mine” becomes more important than being compassionate. It becomes more important than peace or happiness. You can easily see this in our world today - we begin wars because we think oil in another country is OURS. In the past, we fought over land and who arrived there first. Why is it that just because one arrives somewhere first it is their land? How about that the fact that the air, water, land, etc on this earth is actually everyone’s. Or in the true sense – it is NOONES. In that case, we should be citizens of the world. The division of the earth on a large scale represents the division we create between ourselves and others on a daily basis.

We try to keep people out and we think that simply because we were somewhere first or because something has fallen into our lap that it is ours. We have moved so far away from cooperation. It is the last goal in our minds and it should be the first. We have all taken defense in life and because of that we live in constant fear. We live in constant fear of losing our things, of being wrong, of death. So I think it is important for everyone to contemplate the fact that nothing in this life is yours, it never was to begin with. I think it would be nice to stop living in so much fear, but that’s just me. 

Mackenzie on expectations

Mackenzi

During this trip I have had many experiences that have led me to think about the idea of expectations. Our lives, the present moments we live in, are often driven by thoughts of the future. We are motivated by the future, and sometimes this is a wonderful thing. It leads us to create goals and it allows us to be creative in our visions. However.. there are more instances than not in which expectations lead us down a path that isn’t so great. We develop pre-conceived notions of people and places and things and moments. When these people, places, things, and moments are different than what we expect – there are consequences.

It is so easy in our society and especially at my age to immediately judge people upon the first five minutes of meeting them. As much as I tried to come here and have little judgment towards my co-educators, I found my mind quickly labeling. I took snippets of what someone would say or do and then decide who they were off of that small impression. I noticed myself thinking negatively about certain individuals. I began to expect certain things from individuals that I did not necessarily like. What I did not realize was that in having these negative expectations.. I was missing out on those things about them that I could potentially like. I would seek out the things that I would expect them to do or say that would annoy me, and in that would totally miss out on any other aspect of them. After a conversation with Maria, I noticed this.. and decided to try and see a certain person in a different light. Since doing this, I have tried to be open about this individual and see all their aspects – good and bad. I was happily surprised when I began to see how funny they were and incredibly kind. I stopped expecting and looking for their imperfections, and many wonderful things shined through.

I see this same idea of expectation throughout this world. One day I was walking home alone from the main shopping area. Typically, I make a conscious choice to leave fear behind and just enjoy myself when I get to walk around this beautiful town. However, as I was walking on the sidewalk beside the commons I noticed from afar a black man walking towards me. At first, I was not phased at all and went on listening to my music. Slowly, I noticed him walking closer and closer towards me. He seemed to be walking directly at me. I noticed my heart speed up, and fear rise up inside of me. I noticed myself clutching my phone tightly in my hand. As he approached, I was unsure what to do. However, just as he got close to me, he immediately passed me, and I soon after noticed he was getting so close to me because in this small sidewalk – another runner was coming from the other direction. The man simply was trying to avoid bumping into this runner. How ridiculous this moment seemed. I feared someone mainly because of the color of their skin, and this is not something I can deny. I have prior EXPECTATIONS that my society has reinforced in me. I expected the worst in this stranger. I soon had the realization that my negative expectations were just as responsible for crimes being committed as are the criminals committing them. I am part of this cycle. I expect a certain type of person to have certain negative tendencies and in doing this I contribute to the expectations they have of themselves. I treated this man with fear and as though he was something to fear.. how could he not then think this of himself? How can the individuals living in these townships have any type of positive expectation and view of themselves when many people do not? When people are treating these individuals as something to fear, it is inevitable that they will begin to see themselves that way and then act accordingly. Our expectations are just as, if not more, responsible for the negative actions of individuals than the individual themselves. In addition to this – what are we missing out on when we have these expectations? What lovely thing did I miss when I feared this man on the sidewalk, for no reason at all? What relationships do we miss out on growing from when we expect negative things? When we create pictures of peoples or events- we miss out on all those things that don’t fit that picture. In cases such as racism and sexism we perpetuate certain negative behaviors and tendencies by creating images of people and then treating them accordingly. In large, it is not criminals and wrong-doers that often need to be looked at. It is the people surrounding them. It is our society and our community that needs an intervention. Our views need changing, not their behaviors.

People, places, things, moments won’t be what you expected. They will be so much more. So.. one of my newest goals in Cape Town (and life) is to breakdown my expectations and preconceived notions, and therefore be able to see everything and everyone for what they are.. beautiful. 

Mackenzie--looking beyond her own reality & inviting others to do the same

There is something about being ambushed by dozens of six year olds, just short of an hour after waking up. I walked into the kindergarten classroom at Christel House, face to face with a sea of huge smiles, singing and wishing me a “super day”. I sat and watched as the kids went through what appeared to be their daily routine, discussing their weekends and singing the hokey pokey. On the surface – aside from their extreme and obvious openness, the children seemed no different from those that I have encountered in the US. They seemed so innocent, so completely and blissfully unaffected by their unfortunate environments. This innocence touched me deeply, and I wished for them that they could remain that way forever. I wished that they could keep their youth even as they grew, and with that their silly smiles despite any hardship they may have to deal with.

Throughout the day, I had many significant thoughts and moments of awareness that stood out to me. One of them following a discussion I had with the kindergarten teacher. She brought to my attention several of the students situations, one, for example, was a child being raised by his grandmother. His mother was 19 and addicted to drugs. I found myself imagining this child living his life, growing up with a struggling mother. This instance, however, has been one of many I have had since I’ve arrived here. I found myself seriously thinking about the fact that I have existed on this earth for so long without having the slightest idea of situations like this child’s. It scares me to think that I could have gone my entire life not knowing this child, and the people that live in these townships. It scares me to think that I was so unaware, and still am. How insane is it to think that while I exist, live, breath and brush my teeth everyday, this child’s life exists parallel to mine. At the same moment that I scoop a warm bite of food into my mouth, this child may be feeling hunger pains. He may be missing out on the information at school because he is so hungry. At the same moment I am safely walking around the UCONN campus, or driving in my car, this child has to walk through his dangerous neighborhoods. On a larger scare, it astounds me that our minds can be so limiting. That it truly is up to us how much information and how open we would like to be. I can choose to know only my surroundings and only the environment that I exist in. I can choose to only know my beliefs and feelings. Or.. I can choose to step out of that constriction. I can chose to look outside of myself, break the barriers of my mind and open up to the infinite amount of things that exist around me. I hope this is something that people take seriously. It is amazing, and yes, sometimes upsetting, to think about all the realities that exist outside of our own. I in no way enjoy realizing that there are children like this that live in realities like that, but it is important for me to know that they are there. That my reality is not the be all end all. It is not concrete. And there for it’s possibilities are endless.

Another thing I would just like to mention as someone who is white, is my experience that day of for the first time actually noticing myself as white. This day was the first in which I looked all around me I found myself to be the only white person in sight. I literally looked down at my legs and noticed their paleness, and felt a sort of self-consciousness that I have never felt before. It was like another thing to think of myself as. I stood out, and for a very small moment my race was on my mind. I bring this up because I would like to ask my family members and friends who are white, to just become aware of how little (if at all) they have to think about their race. It leads us to instead of acknowledge other races, ignore them. In that sense we ignore those people. I know when we first became confronted with these issues when we started this class, I would think to myself – “ I don’t think race is that big of a deal. Why is it such a big deal?” And then I come to see that of course it isn’t a big deal to me, it doesn’t dictate my everyday life in a negative way. I receive many if not all of the privileges of this racist society, and honestly never have to deal with the consequences. I then drive 20 minutes from my house in Cape Town, into a township where race affects everyday of their life. It affects their future, their hopes, their expectations, their self-esteem, and so on. So in that sense I have found it incredibly important to understand that just because race does not affect me, doesn’t mean I can write it off. When I look around me and open my eyes, it affects many of the human beings I share this planet with.

All in all I think it comes down to opening your eyes. To looking outside of your own reality to see that life expands beyond that. It isn’t only necessary so that you can grow as a human being, but it is necessary so that you can empathize with everyone else in this world – and share their struggle, because it is yours too. 

Mackenzie: reflections and challenges

Mackenzi arriving in the rain

My fellow co-educators have done an excellent job thus far at describing this heavenly place. Like them, I find it hard to put what I have seen and done into words. Beautiful beaches, a lively city and enormous mountains that must be seen to be truly appreciated, surround us. Although the flight was long and lacking any kind of sleep J, upon arrival in Cape Town whatever fatigue I had immediately disappeared. We were greeted with warm breezes and hugs from Marita, Vernon, Gerta and Ben. In all honesty, I don’t know what it is about this place, but I immediately felt at home. Even so, I am shocked and feeling incredibly blessed knowing I will be living here for 3 ½ months.

1st day relaxing by the pool

In the afternoon of our first day in Cape Town, we had the pleasure of meeting Marita’s friend Sizwe. Sizwe naturally asked us what we thought upon our arrival, and I quickly responded with how beautiful this place seemed. I was surprised when he disagreed. His reaction brought to my attention while this is such a beautiful place, many individuals living here do not get to enjoy this beauty. Instead they are faced with the day to day difficulties found living in the townships. While they are still surrounded by the beautiful weather, they certainly do not have the luxuries that we have, such as living in a home with internet. Thinking about this reminds me of why I came here – to learn about the people of Cape Town. Yes, we are here to enjoy the wonderful things South Africa has to offer, but more importantly we are here to learn. To learn about people that are one in the same as us. To understand what issues exist here, and how we can contribute positively to this world- to help and prevent additional hardships. I realized once again how important it felt for me to empathize with these people, and see myself within them.

Mackenzi, Rebecca, Kristin, Rina at Maidens Cove

Lucy Campbell of
Transcending History Tours

On our 6^th day in Cape Town, we were given an incredibly informational tour by Lucy Campbell at the Slave Lodge. Through-out the tour, Lucy often discussed how important it was for her to know her past and to solidify her identity. In this way, she could partake in her own healing. She looked at me at one point, and I guess I had so many thoughts running through my head that she could tell. She said to me “you look like you want to ask a question.” I didn’t say anything, but I did have many questions and thoughts. I recently have begun to practice yoga and meditation, and in this process have learned much about the ego and my idea of an “identity”. From the research I have done in the past couple of months, I began to develop the idea that identities are not necessarily positive. In some ways, I have begun to feel that they cause us stress. For when we take our identities too seriously, or believe that who we are is all we’ve got, then when we mess up – we have no option but to be seriously distressed. I began to think that identities were responsible for many of the issues we see today. People cling to their beliefs, and attribute who they are to their beliefs, so when they are challenged they see that their identity is being threatened – causing arguments which ultimately (in extreme circumstances) have turned into war – small, large, emotional, and physical. I felt that perhaps if people were more focused on this present moment, they could lessen the grip and attention given to the story that has created their identity, and lessen their pain. 

While this is all fine and good, I see that it cannot realistically be this way for every human on this planet. I can say these things, and I can believe these things because I have not been a victim of slavery. I have not been a victim to many of the things Lucy, and many others have been a victim too. Lucy found it important to accept who she is and what her past is.    Her identity was, rather than the cause of her pain, her vehicle for healing. It changed in my mind from a cause of pain, to a means of understanding. Its amazing that in 6 days, the philosophies I have developed such as this, can be challenged and new philosophies can be brought to my attention. It was a pleasure to meet Lucy, and I think she affected me more than she knew J.

So far, as you can tell, I have learned so much in this beautiful place. I cannot wait to learn and see more. 

Mackenzie's introduction

Hello! I’m Mackenzie and my major is psychology! I am so excited to get on that plane and begin this awesome journey! We have known about our acceptance for a few months now, and soon it will become reality. Lately I have gotten so distracted with school work that I forget where I am headed in a month, but when I remember I feel excited, nervous, and blessed J. I remember attending the symposium and calling my mom immediately after because I seriously could not contain my excitement. I knew this was something I wanted to do, it touched my heart immediately.

I have felt over the last few years I have been very introspective. While this is incredibly important, I feel that can only get you so far. At some point I knew it was time to extend my energy outwards. I am a firm believer that the only way to feel love is to give love, and what better way to give love than to help those who truly need it? I feel that in our culture we tend to limit how much love and care we give to others, and it does nothing good for our well beings. I am so fortunate for my education, family, friends, warm bed, food, security – it is only fair that I reach out to those who may not have all those things. We all are life, we all are one, and it feels right to dedicate my attention and care to another. That is why, selfishly, this trip feels like a treat for me J. I also wanted to go on this trip because I knew it would challenge me, and more importantly than giving it would push me to learn. I know so little about other cultures and issues around the world, and this is such an amazing opportunity to learn about them. I’m hoping to learn about myself, about the people of South Africa, and about life in general. UCONN is a lovely place, but there is only so much I can learn from sitting in a classroom J. The best way to learn is to immerse yourself in a new environment, and that is what we will get to do. 

I ultimately hope to learn more about this beautiful world I get to live in, while growing as a person and learning how to contribute in a positive way.

I can’t wait to get there!!