Nicole: lessons learned now a part of her

Culture shock is real and intense and hard. I have come home to quiet streets and driving on the right side of the road again and people who ask me how my trip is. I am beyond happy that people are interested in my time abroad, but I do not even know where to begin. My life has changed these past three months and there no way I can describe it in a simple answer. And, I know the weight of my experience does not have to be put into one sentence, but if I do not cover the extent of how important it is I feel like I am not doing it justice. But, most importantly, I was terrified that I would forget everything I learned

On Wednesday I had dinner with some members of my family. I do not know how it started, but we had a debate about life circumstances. It got a bit heavy, and we argued over whether people try or expect the government and others to take care of them. One of the members in my family believed that those in tough life circumstances remained in that by choice and by not stepping up and doing something with their lives or standing together, particularly those who were black. I felt like I was stabbed in the chest. My thoughts flashed to every single person I met in Cape Town who had been dealt very hard circumstances that gave everything they had to make other people’s lives better. It struck me to my very core and the tears swelled up in my eyes almost instantly. I knew better, that life was not so simple and hardships are rarely ever just brought on by person who does not feel like working. However, my emotional response was reassuring. In that moment of sadness, I knew everything I had learned would not leave me. I was so worried that Cape Town would feel like a distant memory, but I have discovered it is a part of me.

Nicole's understanding of Ubuntu

 I am officially back in the United States. That does not mean, however, that I have finished telling my stories. My last full day was one of my favorites of the entire trip, and thought it was worth sharing.

 We tried very hard to go into Nyanga, one of the townships where we helped out at an after school program. I was only able to go one time because the time of the program and travel interfered with my internship. However, while we were there, we became friends with one of the young men that leads the program. His name is Joseph and he is remarkable. He donates so much time of his time to helping children in need at the after school program. We got to talking about his life and I think he could sense how interested we were in Nyanga and life in a township, so he offered to bring us around the area. We had been busy for a majority of the weekends and our only chance ended up being our last weekend there. So, we waited for a bus on Saturday and it never came. The same happened Sunday morning. We took it as a sign that we were not supposed to go, that maybe something bad would have happened. I was slightly nervous to walk through a township; we had heard stories about crimes and gangs and the usual warnings. But I also really wanted a deeper understanding of what it felt like to be in a township. So, I had a mix of relief and disappointment when the bus did not come.

 But, we had still had plan to go to Mzoli’s that afternoon. Mzoli’s is a crazy place to eat in Guguletu. Tourist’s go there, but it is also packed with local people. We had to leave by ten in the morning to just get a table. By 12, the place was packed and music was playing and it was extremely loud. In other words, it was awesome. You go into the part where you buy meat (you can only get meat at Mzoli’s), and it looks like any other deli. Only, there are large amounts of raw meat and the place they cook it is right in the next room. We ordered pounds and pounds of meat for our friends and all of the guests that were coming. They cook it on a huge grill and you go wait outside and enjoy each other’s company while they cook. There is a place to buy drinks next door so we bought some and relaxed. As people showed up, they brought packs of beer, noise, and other food with them. Time quickly flew by and we devoured our food in probably five minutes. What I have forgotten to mention is our cab driver came to eat with us. Since we use cabs a lot for transportation, we kept having the same guy, Amos. He was very sad to know we would be leaving and offered to bring us there . This was so great because we had no idea what we were doing. Anyways, we had juicy lamb and beef and sausage. The sausage was my personal favorite, and I normally don’t care for meat at all. We finished everything and realized we would have to buy another round. Joseph and two of his friends, plus some of my friends teachers were coming and we wanted everyone to have some. So we drank more and enjoyed the music and each other. Joseph arrived and it took about five minutes for us all to start joking around and having a good time with each other. Joseph told us how they had planned for us to come and kids were going to perform for us and we felt awful. We just did not know how we could have gotten to Nyanga. So, after dancing and eating and having the best time we could have asked for, we decided to walk to Nyanga from Mzoli’s and spend the day with Joseph and his friends. But, right before we left, I took in the moment and what I was feeling. I was so filled with joy because I was surrounded by great people. Between the guys and teachers and our cab driver, I felt so full and complete. Not everyone knew each other, but it did not matter. And, we had treated everyone. No one stressed about money or other issues, we were all just so happy to have them as company that we wanted them to enjoy. That is when I realized we had come to understand ubuntu and what it means to be one. It did not matter who paid for the food. We were all giving each other happiness by being together and sharing what we had. It sounds corny, but it took such a simple action of inviting everyone together to create such a special moment.

So, we wanted that moment to continue and walked to Nyanga with Joseph and three other awesome guys. Within five minutes we saw a goat just chomping on some leaves. It was normal for them, but I thought it was really funny. Cows and other animals just cross the street and hang around like its no big deal. We all got along so well that I forgot I was in a township. I forgot anything anyone ever told me and had an amazing time. They took us to each of there homes and they may have been smaller than my home and my friends but they were cozy and welcoming. It was like it was effortless for them to just welcome us into their home. We saw a tavern where they sit and drink some beer and enjoy each others company. We walked through an informal settlement, too. I always wanted to because I cannot fathom living in a shack. These houses were made because the government was not making homes in time, and they are very, very small. I still though, was not scared. Kids stared at us and wanted to touch our hands and acted like we were celebrities. I hated it because I don’t deserve for them to treat me that way, I am not better than them. So I tried to be as kind as possible and say hello and give off the vibe that I did not think I was better than them. Joseph told us we were only the second white people to walk through the settlement and they were not used to seeing people like us. Still, people were kind. A women offered us homemade beer right from her house. It was the most interesting beer I had ever tasted. It was a chalky white color and in a tin can. We had to get down on one knee in honor of their ancestors and drink the beer. It is what they drink during ceremonies, like when a boy becomes a man. I was honored to have tasted it. As we continued, I felt like I was hanging out in my neighborhood with old friends. I never once did I feel unsafe. At times uncomfortable, but never threatened. We played on playgrounds with kids, and kicked around a soccer ball. We greeted friends and even ran into people we knew. I never felt a stronger sense of community. 

We walked by the station with taxis that could take us home, but did not want to leave yet. So we kept walking to find a smiley. A smiley is a sheep’s head that is cooked and eaten and still looks like a sheep right until you cut the piece and put it in your mouth. It made me kind of sad that it resemble the animal so closely, therefore I knew what I was eating, but I put the emotions aside because I wanted the cultural experience. I am pretty sure they are called a smiley because they still look like they are smiling. Anyways, we bought half a smiley for 20 rand and went to sit in this little room with one bench, a table, and newspaper. I ate a whole ear, a bite of the tongue, and a bite of the eye. The ear was the hardest to get down considering parts of it were crunchy and others not so much, but I have to admit the tongue was tasty. You sprinkle salt on it and wipe your hands with newspaper. And, like most things, you share. It was such an authentic experience, definitely not one for tourist. I felt like I was immersed and a part of Nyanga. I also regretted meeting them so late in the trip, because we had bonded so easily. I know I am not explaining this right because I really have no words for what this day meant for me. All I can really understand is that I had no inhibitions. I let the day happen and unfold. I felt more a part of Cape Town than ever before. I felt safe. I felt close to people. I felt welcomed. And, I wonder how anyone who lived in Cape Town would not want to visit and enjoy the company of these amazing people. I truly felt what Ubuntu meant and I think my life will be better for it.

Nicole's farewell poem

No one wants to be cliche

But I feel I have no choice

So before I even realize

These words escape my voice

We have found ourselves

And lost ourselves

And found ourselves again

We have broken down

Been beaten down

And learned the value of a friend

Our eyes have opened wider

Forming a new lens

Of how the world should be

And what we want to mend

We have literally climbed mountains

To realize there are many more

This time however is different

We are stronger than before

We have formed bonds so important

That we will never be the same

Its not easy to say goodbye

and you are all to blame

A thank you is in order

Even though you can never be repaid

Instead of mourning our good-byes

Let's enjoy the rest of today

Nicole on her companions on this journey

Even though Cape Town is filled with amazing people, no one can replace your family on the holidays. I was prepared to have a very sad Easter. I have really been missing everyone lately, and it was hard to think that my family would be together at my Me-ma’s and I am on a completely different continent (without any bunny cake!) I am not much of a churchgoer, but when a few of my friends decided they were going I decided to tag along in hope that it would be a comfort. I was right. The church was cozy and full and completely different than the church I attended a few times at home. It made me feel at peace. It also helped that we watched a couple episodes of modern family ahead of time and that always makes us happy. The rain was pouring, we were all snuggled in sweatpants for the weekend, and it seemed like everything would be okay.

It was not just okay, thought, it was wonderful. We decided that we were going to have breakfast for dinner and everyone would cook and eat together. At first I was skeptical that this would actually work because we are like a dysfunctional family and it is hard to get everyone on the same page. But everyone liked the idea and pitched in food and we ended up making french toast, eggs, potatoes and had watermelon. For dessert I made cookies and Kristin made brownies. The cookies I made were just not ordinary cookies, however. They were chocolate chip cookies with an oreo inside of them. I saw a picture online and knew if I could not bring my friends their families I could at least give them something delicious. They turned out pretty good, too, considering my cooking skills are far from even mediocre. 

We all settled down to eat in our common room and everyone went around saying what they were thankful for. Many people laughed at the idea of this, but it ended up being really cute and I said that I was thankful for everyone in the room because even though we all fight and get angry I truly feel like I learned something from every single person that is going to better my life in some way. We all talked and enjoyed the night and you could tell on everyone’s faces that we were genuinely enjoying each other’s company. It did not matter that everyone did not celebrate Easter or that half the time we fight because of the dirty kitchen or what time we want to go somewhere. I don’t care if I sound corny, because it was really like the corny scene in a movie that makes you happy even though you won’t admit it. I loved when it was brought up that by knowing each other, our lives have been altered and bettered. These people mean so much to me because no one else will ever understand my experience here the way they do. I know I am going to need them when I go home to make sense of the transition and remember everything we were taught. It is comforting to know I am not alone in this journey.

Nicole's Very Africa Spring Break

My Very African Spring Break

It would make sense to go in chronological order, but I am too excited that I saw elephants. In case you didn’t know before, I am obsessed with elephants. I think they are beautiful and I know they are incredibly smart. Kind of like me (kidding). It turns out that the first stuffed animal I got when I was a child was an elephant, and I found that out after my recent obsession surface. I also love that you can go near them and not have the potential to hurt them. Little animals scare me sometimes because I am a very klutzy person and worry I will drop them or step on them or something. But elephants; they"re massive and awesome.  I guess in order to explain how I came across these elephants, I have to explain how we got to them in the first place. On Saturday, 17 March, we left for Johannesburg very early in the morning. Of course I started packing at 1 am, but that is the usual for me. Johannesburg is a major city in South Africa, and also a place with significant historical value. The first day, however, they let us rest in the hotel and took us to dinner. I always love hotels, and I think it is because we used to go to them all the time when I had gymnastics competitions. The idea of cart wheeling down a hallway and jumping on the bed still excites me no matter how old I am. We relaxed in our fluffy white bed and went to dinner. I have a new favorite food here; tramezzinis. I probably completely spelled that wrong but you get the idea. It is like fluffy pita bread and mine had spinach and feta cheese and avo spread and I think I am in heaven. I got that and we had an extremely enjoyable dinner conversation. Remember, dinners in South Africa are much slower, which gives us much more time together to talk about whatever we like, which normally means debating life and all there is to it.

            

The next couple days were filled with different museums that recognize the massacres and wrongdoings of Apartheid. I must say, museums do not always keep hold of my short attention span, but I was moved by what I saw. I could take hours and explain all of the thoughts inside my heads, but I really want to focus on what stood out to me the most. We went to the Hector Pietersen Museum, which is symbolic of the Soweto Uprising of 1976. Students stood together to peacefully protest against the government forcing them to learn in a language that they did not fully understand. Hector Peterson was thirteen years old and the first to be shot by the police during the protest. He has remained a symbol of the wrong doings in Apartheid. This is obviously so awful and wrong of the police to fire on a peaceful protest. And then again, a similar incident occurred previously during the 1960 Sharpeville Massacre. This was again a peaceful protest by those who were classified African during Apartheid and forced to carry passes everywhere they went. If they did not, they would be arrested. They were not treated like people. However, when they protested, 69 people were killed, and these were just those that were documented. It was also representative of how bad the crisis was in Africa and was also a time when everyone around the world saw how much needed to change. One victim was as young as twelve years old. This breaks my heart, but I also felt really angry. I saw the letters sent by other countries that they were ready to support South Africa, and I kept wondering why it took brutal murders to get people's attentions. I want to know why it takes massacres and young children dying to make the world see that something is wrong. It made me wonder what awful things could be happening at this very moment that I am unaware of or not paying attention to. 

On a more positive note, it was inspiring to see people my age taking a stand for what they believed in. They had every right to be scared, but still fought for equality. It makes me feel like I have more power as a young adult than I think that I do. The Apartheid Museum was not as heavy for me because I love Nelson Mandela and we spend a lot of time following his life and what made him who he is. These museums make what we learn about seem more real, and make me feel more for the victims.

            

With all the heaviness, we did light, fun things too. We went to a flea market and went crazy. At first bargaining intimidated me, especially since it was their job to get you to spend money, but I loved it this time. I am not going to share exactly what I got because then I would be giving away the presents I got for people, but let's just say I did good. Its fun to walk through the market with people calling for you and showing them you are not just a stupid American who can get ripped off (at least not all of the time.) It gives you a rush.

We also went to the Boys and Girls Club, the first one started in South Africa just recently. I knew even before I went that I would love it there. We played games, helped serve lunch, cleaned, and I taught gymnastics as usual because I just can’t help being a gymnastics coach wherever I go. It felt so good to give back to the people who work there because there were only a few staff members and a ton of kids. It is definitely a hectic job, but the kids are full of energy and I can see how rewarding it is to provide them with a place they can do work and have fun. I did not even mean to teach any gymnastics, but I saw a few little boys doing handstand and couldn’t resist doing one myself. I wanted them to learn the right way so they would not hurt themselves and before I knew it I had a big circle of kids around me and we were all doing handstands. My two little ones that started the handstand from the beginning stayed with me the rest of the time and were big fans of giving hugs. It was great, but made me miss all my gymnasts at home a lot. I was really proud to help at such a great place.

Nicole teaching gymnastics to an eager group of learners!

            

You may be wondering how this led to elephants, but I promise I’m getting there. On Thursday we woke up before the sun rose and drove eight hours to Kruger National Park.. The ride was not bad at all because we had a comfy coach bus. When we got there it was about a million degrees, but I as quickly distracted by the place we stayed in. They were large huts, but really classy ones with air conditioning and big beds. That night we went on a game drive where you drive in an open truck with no windows and look out for animals. We had not been seeing much when all of a sudden we saw a white rhino! And then, a few minutes later, bam, a giraffe was right next to the road eating from a tree. We also saw impalas that night, which are beautiful beautiful creatures.  They look kind of like deer but I swear they could come straight out of a Disney movie. They have huge, almost cartoon like eyes and look incredibly pure. The next day though, was when we really got lucky. We woke up at 430am, after going to bed at 2 (it happens when you live with two other girls and decide to have deep conversations) and I was exhausted. I almost fell asleep, but then all of a sudden I saw an elephant as the sun was rising. Some plants covered it, but I felt lucky to see it from far away. I thought I could cry but I was so happy I just stared at it in shock. I thought I was lucky enough to see it from far away when a couple minutes later a huge one was to my left. At this point I was so excited to see it so clearly that I waved to it and gestured it to come over here. I realize it was an elephant, but happiness can make a person hopeful. Sure enough, the elephant walked out of the bush and right onto the road in front of our truck. I stood on the side clutching onto the top, staring at the elephant in wonder. It was huge and powerful but I was not scared, just in awe. 

Elephant strolling right by us.

We proceeded to see seven more in total that day and I was in elephant heaven. We also saw zebras, impalas and a female lion from far away. Later that day we saw hippos in the water right wear we were ordering lunch. We also saw warthogs and monkeys as we were walking from our huts to the restaurant, and they were just chilling like it was no big deal. I thought it was probably one of the coolest things ever. At the end of the day we actually went on a game walk and walked through the bush where the animals live. All we had to protect us were two guards who carried guns, solely for the purpose to make noise and scare the animals away. I cannot even describe how awesome it was to be in a part of untouched nature. We were walking on a trail made by a rhino. Natural, beautiful places like that are so hard to come by. I felt scared for a second, but after just peaceful. It felt like the way life should be, without big buildings and with openness and freedom. We did not get to see an animal up close, but did follow a rhino for a while based on its poop. That’s right, poop. There are huge dumpings everywhere. It really was not gross because if it smelled it meant the rhino was recently there, and some were used for homes for other insects. And, it was really, really funny. We also got to see a crazy looking spider that was the size of my index finger and luckily not poisonous to humans. We saw a lot of the birds that look like Zazu from the Lion King, and I even took a feather. We saw a snake that if you get to close it can poison you and if not taken care of, you could be dead in an hour. But we had smart guides and made it out just fine. It was an amazing experience and I would do it again in a second. The next day when we had to leave, we saw a ton of animals on the drive out. We spotted a water buffalo, which meant we saw 4 of the 5 Big 5 animals of South Africa (rhinos, water buffalos, leopard, elephant, and lions). I probably could have seen just the elephant and been excited, the rest was a bonus. It definitely hit me that I was truly in Africa on Friday when I watched around ten zebras walk across the street to the other side of the bush as the sun was rising.

The eight-hour ride back to the airport was a piece of cake because I slept and read the Hunger Games. I read it on the airplane and through the airport and in the car ride home. I read the whole book in a day because it was that great. All in all, it was the most interesting spring break I have ever had. I continued to learn everywhere I went, and I hope become better for it. What I also realized is that my only real knowledge of these animals came from the Lion King. We kept comparing everything we saw to the movie. There is so much out there with the ability to make us incredibly happy, and I hope everyone searches to find these creatures and aspects of life we never even knew existed outside of a movie.

Nicole: Coming Back Down to Earth

Coming Back Down To Earth

  

I start off every one of my blogs for the weekend saying I had the most amazing weekend yet. I am trying a think of a way to start this blog so that I can fully communicate how special this weekend was to me. It was not the adrenaline rush I have had in the past or a sight seeing extravaganza. It was the kind of experience that reaches your soul and reminds you of the simple pleasures and the most important things in life. It was the emotionally draining heart warming kind of weekend that brings you down to earth.

           

This weekend, eight of my friends and I chose to do a home stay in the township Ocean View. This is a community of people who were removed from their homes during Apartheid and placed in this area. Some are the sons and daughters of the people who were forced to leave, others experienced it themselves. The area is not a place you would dream of staying, and has its problems with drugs and poverty. However, I have fallen in love with Ocean View. It has its struggles, but it is a community full of love and personality. There are hard times but so many good people that welcomed us with open arms into their lives and made us feel like we had been there all along.

           

On Thursday we left class and took the train to Ocean View. From there we were picked up in a taxi and went to Chantal’s home, the women who runs the home stay program through her organization Volunteer Mzansi SouthAfrica. We met her and found out where we would be staying for the weekend. I found out I would be with Auntie Netta, who was the best cook. Brandi laughed at me because everyone knows I love to eat and she would be perfect for me. We learned a little bit about the community, and that abuse was still prevalent in the area in families. But like I said, there was so much more to the community than these facts, and things like this exist everywhere, not in Ocean View or South Africa alone. We went down the road where some of the children in the community put on a dance show for us. Like most of the dancing experiences I have had in South Africa, they put my dance moves to shame. They were so excited and nervous to perform for us when I wish they knew how excited and nervous we were to be there. The preacher who helped run their program gave an amazing speech. He spoke of how hard it was to find true art in today’s world, because so much of it was surrounded by dishonesty. He spoke of Ocean View that way. He asked us to seek the truth in our weekend, behind a foundation of dishonesty and hardships. So like any person that likes to search the world for new discoveries, I looked all weekend. But, I’ll get back to that. He also told us how happy they felt that we came so far to learn about their community. He said it was an honor to have us. At that point, I became very anxious. I felt like I wanted to rip my skin off so no one really saw a difference between us. I hated that they felt so honored that I was there because I am no better than them. If anything, they are the kind of people I strive to be. I do not mean they welcomes us because we were white, I just mean they knew we were not from their world. I wish they knew that my heart was filled by their presence and their hard work they put into their dance routines. I wanted them to see that I felt privileged to be there. But, aside from this feeling, the night was amazing. They were adorable and we danced with them after even though we looked like fools next to them. We had dinner at Bernadette’s home, another women involved in the program. We ate chicken, Mac and cheese, salad, mushroom sauce, bread, and roasted vegetables. Chantal had told us that although the families did not have much, they would give us everything they had and she was right. We had a delicious dessert (we all know I always have room for dessert) that had caramel and chocolate and cream and mint on top. After we fit as much as we could into our stomachs, it was time for us to meet the family we would be staying with. Auntie Netta was already there because Bernadette is her daughter, so we got a ride home with her son-in-law and I saw where I would be staying.

           

I was supposed to share the room with my friend Sam, but she got the measles (I know, who gets that anymore?) So, I was all alone. And, I cannot lie, I was really, really scared.  I hate sleeping alone in my own dorm room, I love having a roommate. So, to be alone in an unfamiliar part of Africa did not sound appealing to me. When we arrived I saw it was an apartment. In South Africa, they call apartments flats. So it was many buildings of flats. There were a bunch of people outside and loud music was playing and people were talking and I couldn’t have felt more out of place. However, once I was inside and talking to Auntie Netta, my fear melted away. When we drive through the townships it is hard to imagine what the people are like inside. All we see are homes that are very different than our own, and I constantly try to picture what it is like behind their walls, but finally was able to be a part of the family. Auntie Netta talked to me until she saw my eyes began to droop and I was yawned and I went to brush my teeth. The funny thing was, there was no sink. Instead, the bathroom consisted of a big bathtub, a toilet, and a washing machine. Although it makes perfect sense to me now that all I had to do was turn on the water in the tub and brush my teeth, it seemed a lot harder to me then. I pondered how I could possibly brush my teeth without a sink. Then it hit me, turn on the water you idiot! I did not know where the cold water was so turned on the hot water and brushed my teeth. It took me another two minutes to figure out I needed to turn the water on stronger to rinse out the tooth paste. It ended up taking me fifteen minutes to brush my teeth. This had nothing to do with the conditions of the bathroom; it had to do with the way I was raised. There was always a bathtub and a sink. Who could have ever thought that a tub could have more than one purpose? I like to think that I am aware of the extra privileges I have in my life, but that Thursday night I had been clueless. Oh, and this was all before it took me five minutes to find the light.  I laughed at my stupidity and climbed into bed and tried to write down everything Auntie Netta had said to me that night. She is one heck of a woman. Every time she speaks, words of wisdom flow from her mouth. I wish I could sit and record her words verbatim, because she is one of the wisest women I have met. But, I will get to her wise words in a little bit. Once I wrote in my book, I turned off the light and was pleased to find the light from outside gave me some light in my own room. There was music outside, and even though I was by myself, I did not feel alone.

           

The next day my friends Maria, Rebecca, and I volunteered for the day at a preschool as a part of the home stay program.  We went to Aquila Cresh, which is an adorable preschool only about ten minutes away from where I was staying. On our walk there, it seemed like everyone was outside. Almost everyone always seems to be outside. People either waved or ignored our existence. I preferred the latter, because I felt like I did not stick out. The fence had numbers and letters on it and when we walked in there were little preschoolers singing and dancing and smiling. I knew it was going to be a good day. I helped teacher Nicole all day (weird) and the kids were great. After working with autistic children, it was very different to work with kids who did not have a disability. They came up to me write away and did not mind the new person in their classroom at all. I read them a story and helped them with their drawing and went out to watch them on the playground. Two kids peed their pants, but that comes with the job. Just like at Vera School, there was never a dull moment. I am pretty sure that every thirty seconds someone was crying, but thirty seconds later they were laughing and everything was good again. I got to take care of them and make them happy and they made me equally as happy. Before we left we got a chance to talk to one of the teachers. She said many of the children did not get enough attention at home, and she could not always take care of them. However, she said every moment they were at the school she had a chance to protect them and care for them and it was so obvious how much she wanted to make life as good as possible for the children. I really hope all teachers feel this way. So I had such a spectacular day with the children and went back to Auntie Netta’s for lunch and had ham, cheese, cucumber, lettuce and tomato on a sandwich on a roll. Anyone who really knows me knows I HATE HAM, but I did not want to offend Auntie Netta who provided me with so much food. So, I sucked it up and ate it. Yes Me-ma, I ate ham. I still hate it, but that is saying something. I really, really wanted to be appreciative. Auntie Netta filled me with more words of wisdom and then I went to a youth center in the community for children who families who were in very tough situations.

We played really funny games outside, like any typical games you would play at camp. After, we introduced ourselves and the children were very shy. Chantal wanted them to free style and do whatever their talent was, but no one stepped up to the plate. So, I used my go-to move, and did a back handspring in the center. Everyone cheered and that got things rolling. It is amazing how I have been able to connect to so many people through gymnastics. Anyways, they eventually warmed up and sang and there was something very powerful about watching them sings as the sun was setting with the mountain behind them. I fell in love with Ocean View. I did have some trouble when there was a small fight in the street. The children were laughing and saying it happened all the time. It pained me that that was a part of their everyday and I wanted them to know life did not have to be full of violence. It made me want to go back even more. We hung out with some of the girls and shared stories and they showed us some handshakes and dance moves and taught us different words for things. We all really connected. I went home smiling from ear to ear knowing I had to come back. I had my nightly talk with Loretta and went to sleep.

Nicole-- 5th from left

The next morning we went to Fish Hoek beach which is beautiful but that did not surprise me. We met up with Maria and Rebecca and their family and walked along the beach on a path and took a million pictures. We take so many in an attempt to capture how beautiful it actually is, but never quite succeed. I went back to Bernadette’s with Maria and Rebecca and she made us a Gatsby.  Now Gatsby’s are every college student’s dream to order at three in the morning when they are craving something delicious. It is a big loaf of bread with salad, chicken (it can be any meat) and French fries (that they call chips) all inside of it. We had it with barbecue sauce, which is slightly spicier hear and I was in food heaven. We spent the night hanging out with family and watching TV for the first time in a month and a half. They always had visitors, which included adorable little babies. There is a chemical we all have in our brain that is released when we see babies. It is there so we feel warm and fuzzy and want to take care of them. I think I have double the amount of your average person, because I get this big goofy small on my face and cannot get rid of it when there are babies around. I had fun playing with them but then it was time to leave and I had another wonderful talk with Auntie Netta before I went to sleep.

Today I was very sad that it was my last day, but I was excited to go to Church. We went to a Baptist church that was about a ten-minute walk away. I was looking forward to it because my other experience with a Baptist Church was filled with singing and very passionate people. This was the same way. In the beginning of the service, I almost cried. Not because I was sad or scared, I was filled with joy. The singers at the front of the stage sang with such power. They had so much faith and so much praise. I saw where they came from and understood them on a new level, and was able to feel how grateful they were for life. I got to see two children blessed, and Auntie Netta’s son delivered a sermon. I loved what he said, and it could be applied outside of a religious context. He said that, “God will move you, but don’t be moved.” He explained that God is going to take us to different places in our life, but don’t let it make you lose your focus. I took this to heart because I know I am learning so much here and do not want to forget it when I go home. When I heard that, I felt inspired to not let my change in scenery change the way I feel or my plans for the future. I do not want to forget the amazing people I met or all I am learning about life. There I was, standing in a small warehouse with cement floors and cement blocks for walls. There were no big windows that were beautifully painted and I was sitting in a fold-up chair. However, I felt more in present and in touch with what they were saying than any other church I have been to. I am not extremely religious, but felt very moved today being there.

           

After Church we had lunch at Bernadette’s and it was time to say goodbye. I was genuinely sad and did not want to leave. I found comfort in Ocean View. I was surrounded my family and it made me realize how much I missed my own family and friends. I also felt as though I was in the presence of truly rich people. I am surrounded by my amazing friends here and inspiring professors like Marita and Vernon, but these people had no reason to take me in. They welcomed us with open arms and showed us such an amazing amount of love. It did not matter what size their home was. It felt comfortable to walk the streets and see people outside and wave and be a part of a community. As I mentioned before, the preachers at the show from the first night told us to seek the truth. I found it this weekend, especially in Netta’s wise words. Her presence makes you comfortable and inspired all at the same time. She is peaceful, but is also an extremely strong woman. She reminds me a lot of my grandmothers (and I miss them so much!)  Auntie Netta shared many stories and thoughts, and these are the ones I found most important. First, we both decided, a day you help someone else is always a good day. She also taught me to be grateful for everything you have, even when it isn’t much. She told me that many people in South Africa receive a very little amount of money in welfare per child. It is only a little more a month than what I spend on groceries a week. She also told me that out of the 2000 people around her area, around 50 had jobs. She saw my mouth dropped and I asked how people managed. She told me when you want something you work hard with what you have. When you stay grateful, things come in time. No matter what, stay grateful. I also shared with her that sometimes I feel guilty for having more than many people I have met in South Africa. She told me the size of your house or car does not matter. You should not feel guilty for your blessings, but never make these things your God. When you do, you run into trouble. I loved this because it helped me make sense of why people have so much and others so little. When it comes down to it, these things do not measure our character or faith or anything that shapes who we are and the way we see the world. And through all of this, I found how important family was to Auntie Netta. She was proud of her family and would do anything for them. When I am here, it is easy to get caught up in thoughts and adrenaline rushes and sometimes your feet do not always stay on the ground. This weekend grounded me again. I was incredibly touched by the families that were so happy to have us, and I hope they all knew how grateful we all were to be there. I hope I said this all right. I was in tune with the important things, and it was as sweet as the strawberry jam Auntie Netta laid out for me every morning.

Nicole: Life is Beautiful

Life is Beautiful, Life is Beautiful, Life is Beautiful

I don’t even know where to begin, I had another beautiful thought provoking weekend. We went to a human rights training weekend where we stayed at an Olive Farm with eighteen other people from countries around Africa including Ghana, Tanzania, Mozambique, Congo, Kenya and Zimbabwe and of course South Africa. You may wonder why we learned about human rights at an Olive Garden, but it was awesome. The place was called Goedgedacht and served as revenue for different programs as well as centers for youth to get out of poverty. We stayed on the mountain in a room fit for someone with a much higher salary than a college student but I am definitely not complaining. I could describe how comfy the bed and pillows were, but that was nothing compared to the balcony attached to our bedrooms. Once again there were mountain, but Table Mountain was much further off in the distance. We met everyone the first night and had a delicious dinner. There was lasagna and salad and I chose their homemade pineapple dressing and was in heaven. I dealt with a permanent food baby all weekend but again I am not complaining. We went from cooking for ourselves every day to homemade food on a farm. It is just like me to get side tracked by food, so I guess I will get to the human rights part. 

On Friday night we got to know each other and were split into four groups. Each group chose a country in Africa that they would present about the next day. After, we just got to hang out and do what ever we wanted, which of course consisted of debating about life and everything that was on our mind. My friend Sam and I had a long conversation with a guy named Mtutuzi (that is most likely wrong, no matter how long I am here the names get me every time.) We talked about how these days people go on facebook instead of spending quality times with their family. We recognize this is an issue in the United States, but I learned that this trend is spreading to Africa. We also talked about the fact that many girls in our country try to be stick thin because that is what makes us beautiful.  In Africa, many used to value women with a fuller figure because it meant they had enough to eat and were being taken care of by their men. Now, Mtutuzi said that people are starting to want to be thinner, just like in the States. I hate hate hate this. I wish my country would be more like Africa, not the other way around. It frightens me that we do so many things wrong and that other people adopts our ideas of what is beautiful and important in life. Just being away on that farm made me appreciate good conversation, something I lack when I focus on the Internet or things that take me away from spending time with the people that I love. 

After conversing with Mtutuzi, I went into the lounge with other people who were having just an intense of a conversation. We talked about the evil system; something I find to is referred a lot to lately. We discussed the need we feel to have something new when what we have already is just fine, like the iPhone for instance. Who needs the iPhone 4 when their iPhone 3 works just fine? I mean we already have a computer with Internet, why do our phones need it, too?  It is an interesting concept to think about. However, we did not spend all of our time bashing society. We talked about the greatest movies of all time and I think it is about that time where I should finally watch Forest Gump. I’ve decided that I am going to make a list of all of the movies I haven't to see and watch them when I get home. Movies sometimes offer us lessons without even realizing we are learning them. I love that, and they're often funny and a necessary escape sometimes. 

So after our long talks I wrote my in my journal and mental into our comfy bed. We got up bright and early the next day and spent the morning and afternoon learning the basics of human rights. I won't give you a lesson now, but I will tell you some things I think are important. There are the basics, like the four principles of human rights. These are that they are universal, inalienable, indivisible and interdependent. Everyone, no matter where they live or who they are has human rights and they cannot be taken away, divided, and they all are connected and one cannot exist without the other. But, besides basic facts, I learned how intense discussions could get about international affairs. We had a fake United Nations convention about dividing a new planet and many people got heated. It was all because everyone thought they were doing what was best. Now, I could not imagine how heated people get over real issues like using national resources and equality. If I could take away anything from this, I know we must fight for what we think is right but also learn to listen.

            

In between our discussions, we had the typical South African tea break and put together our projects. The purpose was to research a country (mine was Ethiopia), and convince the UN to give our nation 500 billion dollars to reach our millennium goals by 2015. In case you don’t know, the UN had proposed eight millennium goals to be fulfilled by 2015 which includes: eradicating poverty and hunger, achieving universal primary education, promote gender equality and empower women, reduce child mortality, improve maternal health, combat HIV/AIDS malaria and other diseases, ensure environmental sustainability, and develop a global partnership for development. That was a mouthful. We did not end up winning, but the projects were really funny and made me realize how serious rights are violated in many countries in Africa. To name a few; access to education, homosexuals being denied rights or even killed, female genital mutilation, access to health care, low income, and the list goes on and on. So many groups are denied human rights that all of us deserve and so many overlap into different groups that are violated. It was funny to see everyone dress up and act like protestors or ministers, but at the same time it is hard to process how much really needs to be achieved. After this mock UN convention, we needed time to relax our minds and enjoy our beautiful surroundings.

            

It was pitch black outside, but we really did not care. We walked up to a damn that was located on the mountain. We all swam together and floated in the water staring up at the stars. They were unreal. There were no city lights or smoke to obscure our view. Every star was crystal clear and where I was and what I was doing overwhelmed me with happiness. I kept saying life was beautiful and my friends laughed at me but I did not care. I have never been one for space, but it was mystifying. We stayed in the water as long as we possibly could until I could not feel my hands, and then changed and went onto the dock on the other side. We laid side-by-side and just stared at the sky. It was crazy to think that all the people I love back home were staring at the blue afternoon sky, and I was staring into the darkness of the night, it made me miss my dad because I know how much he would appreciate the clear view of the sky. I wish everyone could see and feel how I felt because I know I am just not describing it right. I was at peace, and that is a hard feeling for me when it comes to trying to grasp the concept of space.

           

 I was beginning to fall asleep so I left with my friend Ryan and walked the dark path back to my room. I got back safely (the dark can really freak me out) and was pleased that my roommate Nellie was still awake. I went to pick up my pajama shirt and noticed a bug on the ground. This was just not any bug though, it was a SCORPION. At first, we thought it was dead so stood right over it and took a picture. When we tried to scoop it up and save it (because we're dumb) it flew under my bed. The sick realization hit me that it was alive and that there was a huge possibility it was poisonous. My roommate jumped on her bed and I ran and got someone to kill it. We ran for someone that lived in Africa who might know what to do. It took a while to find it and a lot of people were in my room and we were laughing and slightly hysterical. It was small, and we had heard these were the poisonous kind. It was then we were reminded that we were in Africa and it might not be the best idea to take pictures and poke at the creatures that could poison us. We ended up killing it with my favorite shoe and I went through everything I owned to make sure there were no more. The day went from educational to peaceful to slightly frightening. Although it involved a scorpion, I love days that cover so many ranges of emotions. Now that I was not poisoned I realize how comical the situation was.

            

The next day we had our final discussions and a delicious send off meal. We talked about how we could not really define what a human right is. I did learn though that they are about the respect and dignity of every human being and there is no real answer to some of our questions. But, in order to make a difference, it is important to learn all we can, create communities, and take action. I know my major is not human rights, but that I can incorporate respect and dignity for everyone I encounter. That way, I can practice what I have preached. Overall, it was an amazing weekend and I met people that we are hopefully going to see again. As my time here grows longer, I have found I  feel richer in knowledge as I learn from the people around me. I will try to remember as much as I can from our discussions, I even have the human rights trainee certificate to remind me. But, I always feel I learn the most from the people around me that I meet here every day. As always, I am so grateful.  

Nicole "Crunching Hard on Cheerios"

As I have been in Cape Town for a month now, I feel like the amount of knowledge I am gaining is amazing. I have, however, realized the lack of knowledge I had before my adventure. I would like to share with everyone a blog I wrote a few days ago in the moment of my frustration. It shows exactly how I was feeling right at the moment and therefore think it is important to share my direct response.I entitled it, "Crunching Hard on Cheerios." 

I want to go for a long run outside right now to get rid of the anxiety I am feeling but it is not safe to be alone at night here. So instead, I am eating cheerio after cheerio taking out my frustration on the poor defenseless grains that I am biting. I watched a video in class today that is a part of a three part series called Race: The Power of an Illusion. This particular movie in the series is called The House We Live In. It explains why people live in the areas that we do in the U.S.  and why certain areas are worth more than others. I am not about to teach a history lesson, because that isn’t what my blogs are about. I believe though it is only necessary to give a little background before I begin to rant and rave. 

In all of our history classes we were taught about the GI Bill and how it was beneficial after WWII. However, there were certain aspects that I was never taught. It provided an easier way for people to get housing by only requiring people to pay small down payments over a longer time span instead of requiring fifty percent of the cost of the house up front. What I never learned was that this was not something that reached everyone. Most black people were not allowed to buy houses in the same area as white people and were instead confined to small apartments that also meant they were considered as having less wealth. Integrated neighborhoods were considered lower in value. When it came down to it, the property value of the majority of white homes was much higher than the majority of black homes, and white people could get more money for a house just because of where it was located. And, when one lives in a more “valuable” community, they receive the benefits of the better education and safety and all that comes with it. What I am getting at is that I never learned this before. I was never taught about the distribution of housing and how it affected people’s lives. I learned almost the same history lesson every year, reinforcing how we are a country that wanted everyone to be equal and our achievements. But, what about the flaws? What about the people who are still dealing with the repercussions of this? Why did I have to fly all the way to South Africa and take a class on race to know problems like this exist? 

I’m not blaming my history teachers, they all taught me valuable information. However, our curriculums seem to focus on one perspective and I realize this is not enough for me anymore. Even facts in history can be such different things when looking at it from different angles. When I was in class today, I realize that I learned about our battle with racism in a few specific time periods like the Civil War and the Civil Rights Movement. However, it was only lightly touched upon that our own troops fighting in World War II were segregated while fighting people who were trying to separate people based on the way that they looked and where they came from. I want my general requirement classes in college to be about race and the issues so many people face rather than a class I am forced to take that does not apply to my life whatsoever. I am frustrated with myself for being ignorant but more frustrated with the fact that there is so much out there I have not learned that I feel like I should. The simple fact that I know people have such different privileges makes it that much easier to want to do something about it. I know I can’t change the world and I know I can’t fix everything. But an understanding of the world around us brings us that much closer to seeing its faults and wanting to change them.

        

    I do also want to make it clear how I always think about my life in my own country. Sometimes I feel as though I am forming my own bubble here in Cape Town, and saying all these things in a place that is so far removed from my old world that I act like things that used to matter to me do not anymore. I think that every human life is valuable and important. I recognize that although someone is living on the streets in Africa, someone is living on the streets in America. I also realize that someone may have a home and still be facing challenges that are extremely difficult for them. I never want to make someone feel as though their problems don’t matter because I have suddenly become aware of new problems that exist. My only hope is that my perspective as well as other people’s can be broadened in order to get a richer sense of the world around us and what can be done to make it better for all people.

Nicole feeling everything but guilt

Nicole reflecting on how she feels

Today in class we were asked to reflect on our experiences so far in Cape Town. We were told to think about our expectations and compare them to what we have actually witnessed. As I look back, I realize my expectations were many of the things I witnessed here at the surface. I knew there would both be poverty and beauty. I knew I would feel sad about the way people lived and also grateful for the way I lived. I knew I would feel out of my element. I thought about all of these things as separate, like I would experience them at different times. However, as I reflect on the way I feel now, I realized that I have the ability to feel all of these things at once, something I did not plan for. I also realized that many of these things that exist at the surface have so deeper roots than I even thought possible.

Coming into Cape Town I knew there were areas that were facing extreme poverty. When people asked me why I wanted to go to Africa, one of the major reasons was so that I could help. What I did not plan for, is witnessing a crisis that dates back hundreds of years ago. I see people on the streets and realize that they are there because of a system created to keep people politically and socially isolated, otherwise known as Apartheid. I witnessed people living in houses comparable to the size of my bedroom or smaller, because other governments used race as a way to solve their problems. In the early twentieth century, when the Dutch and English could not agree on the ways to govern Cape Town, they decided that together they could both have power if there were people below them to have power over. This started a very long period of people being moved from their homes and taking away their land. That way, they couldn’t work and couldn’t own their own money. When Apartheid was over, they were able to reconstruct the government, but not the economic aspect of Apartheid. This makes me so incredibly angry. Before I came, I thought it was so easy to donate or volunteer at a shelter and bring people happiness. But I realize now how much really goes in to determining the quality of life people will lead. It is frustrating to see such a large problem and so many people in need of help. But I know the knowledge I am gaining is what leads to problems being fixed.

While today I witnessed a man eat out of a garbage can, I also got to attend class at one of the most beautiful campuses I have ever seen. I got to climb the stairs to middle campus and look behind me and see the beautiful city of Cape Town and the colorful houses and the shining blue water. I looked the opposite way and saw Table Mountain, one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World, and my heart feels like it is going to burst. I have never witnessed such natural beauty. Tomorrow I am going to Muizenberg beach, where the ocean stretches for miles and Table Mountain is once in view. I get to sink my toes in white sand and get to surf at one of the best beaches to learn to surf in the world.  Everywhere I walk there is a mountain. While the scenery is beautiful, so are the people. Many of the people I talk to care about how I am, and take the time to ask how my day is. Literally every person I encounter in the hallway of my internship at Vera School says hello to me. People I have just met remind me to be safe and care about my well-being. This is beyond any experience I have ever been through.

But then I walk home from school and come across three or four people who ask for money. I cannot grasp this. I cannot gaze into the horizon and then look someone in the eyes when I know they need money. I cannot fathom that the peacefulness I feel when I look at Table Mountain can happen in the same place where I witness the worst poverty I have ever seen. It just does not make sense. When I sit on the beach, I wonder if those who are unemployed or living in less than ideal conditions get to have the experiences I am having in their own city.

This overwhelming feeling of emotion is something I am not used to. I believed I could be happy and I believed I could be sad, but I have never experienced both emotions so intensely at the same time. So when I think back on my expectation, I never imagined they would blend together into this confused emotion I feel sometimes. Maybe I could call it guilt, but I don’t want to. Guilt implies that I am feeling sorry, but that is not the way I feel. I feel blessed, and I also feel inspired to give everyone the peacefulness I feel when I look at Table Mountain. I know this is not an easy task at hand, but if I could even help one person feel better about their situation, I would be doing something instead of sitting around feeling sorry that I have things that others don’t. This feeling I have never felt before is making me want to do things I have never done before, and I have never been more passionate about working and going out into the community and helping in ways that I know I can. I love children, so I am really determined to have an activist project in the townships with children after school. It may not be everything, but it is something and while I have mixed emotions I am grateful that my eyes have been opened. When I was talking to someone the other day from Cape Town, she described herself as living in a bubble and not really knowing anything about the townships, and said she wished she did. I could relate to feeling in a bubble; before this experience I was really not aware of the world around me. Sure, I volunteered as a Big Sister and at a homeless shelter, but I don’t get to see these peoples’ lives first hand. So as I sit here, staring at the mountain outside my house and feeling the emotions I feel, I realize my bubble has been popped for the better.

realizing her bubble has been popped---in a good way!