Theresa's 21st birthday

I had the fortune of celebrating my 21^st birthday in South Africa.  In South Africa 21^st birthdays are a big deal, because it is considered your coming of age, your welcoming into adulthood and as part of this tradition you are given a key, symbolically showing that you are responsible enough and grown up enough that your parents trust you to explore the world.  And I had the most spectacular birthday weekend because of my friends aka co-educators on this trip.  My birthday started off with mimosa’s (hey, we are from the US where the only reason your 21^st is a big deal is because you can drink legally-so we celebrated that a little bit as well) and a large breakfast in bed, and the house decorated with streamers and lots of inspirational quotes about birthdays and appreciating life.  We took a cab to class (which started the embarrassing trend of everyone telling everyone it was my birthday all weekend long), went to classes all day and then hurried home for our weekend away from our “home” here.  After a few delays, we were finally on a very crowded 8-hour bus ride to Plettenberg Bay.  We arrived early in the morning at Al Bergo’s Backpackers Hostel, (an adorable, eco-friendly, fair trade, super well thought out place) and immediately tried to get some sleep for our next days adventure.

We woke up from our very comfortable beds early in the morning and 12 of us started our journey to go kloofing (derived from an Afrikaans word 'kloof', meaning 'gorge' or 'ravine').  We arrived at the park, paid, and suited up into wetsuits and life jackets.  We were driven by a small bus up into the mountains and dropped off at the most beautiful farm.  After about another 30 min walk/hike (it was so hot because we had our wet suits on) we finally got to start travelling in the river.  Kloofing consists of following a ravine down a mountain, and jumping off cliffs along the way.  The water that we were in was very cold, but freshwater that we could drink along our journey.  This might have been the most beautiful, exciting thing I have ever done and being able to share it with my co-educators was lovely.  Part of Kloofing is the opportunity to jump off cliffs (from 5 meters to 11 meters) and with that comes the much-needed encouragement.  Being able to cheer on my co-educators and having them in the water to encourage me was so nice and a bonding experience.  We stopped with a few hours to go to have the most delicious meal of cookies (here they are called biscuits) and coffee.  We finished the adventure with a 30-minute swim, got out of our wetsuits and celebrated the finish with a beer that was provided through the company.  Overall, it was one of the most exhilarating and invigorating things I have ever done.  That evening we all went out to dinner to celebrate my birthday, and food has never tasted so good because we were all so tired and hungry. 

The next morning we woke up after a restful nights sleep to jump off Bloukrans Bridge, the Highest Commercial Bungy Jump in the World at 203 meters high.  The drive to the bridge was beautiful as it is part of the Garden Route, an especially pretty part of South Africa.  When we got to the place, we were weighed, harnessed and corralled onto the bridge.  Fear was quickly replaced with adrenaline when we reached the center of the bridge, music was pumped through the loud speakers and the workers were full of adrenaline.  Watching the first few people go off the bridge was terrifying, but hearing them talk about how wonderful it was when they came back up, was encouraging.  When it was finally my time, I tried to remain composed and made the decision to try and jump off, not get pushed off the bridge.  The first moment off the bridge was the scariest, but after the moment of pure terror, it quickly transformed into one of the most peaceful and serene experiences of my life.  After back up it was fun to continue to cheer on my co-educators and some of them even went off the bridge a second time backwards (that was scary to watch).  Overall, it was a fun, adrenaline filled morning.  We then continued our adventures by going to Kynsna Elephant Park and spending time feeding and petting elephants.  Lemons are my favorite food, so imagine my delight when I saw my bucket of elephant feed was full of lemons and I got to feed lemons to elephants.  This was a fun silly experience, the elephant’s skin was so dry and they acted like over-sized puppies, and were just adorable.  That evening, we were so exhausted we decided to all stay in together and spend time together, which was really fun.  The hostel was very conducive to talking, hanging out and watching movies. 

Overall, my birthday weekend is one that I will never forget.  Every birthday when I blow out my candles, I wish for contentment.  We are so quick to judge ourselves and our experiences against what others appear to be feeling and experiencing.  This birthday, and everyday I am working on contentment, knowing that what I did and choose to do was the right decision for me.  However there is also a fine line between being fine with the status quo and contentment, and this requires a fine balancing act.  If South Africa has taught me anything it is that I will constantly be working on balancing; privilege and enjoyment, contentment and compliance; and only through knowing I need to balance and working very hard to do so will I get the most out of life. 

Alex: YOLO

For the past three and a half months, the common phrase that we have constantly remind each other about is YOLO- you only live once. What started as more of a joking statement when splurging and eating multiple desserts, or going out when exhausted, has turned into much more. Though incredibly cliché, the phrase constantly reminds me to say yes to every opportunity, live each moment to the absolute fullest, and have zero regrets while here. So far, I think I’ve done okay with that.

Last week the majority of us went to Plettenberg Bay for a few days over the weekend. It was here that “yolo” really took on a completely new meaning for me. Friday morning several of us went kloofing, which was my first time ever cliff jumping. And to be perfectly honest, it was rather scary… and at times painful. From the water the rocks didn’t look all that high, but let me just say that 7.5 meters suddenly turns into 100m when you’re about to jump. Regardless, the experience and scenery were definitely worth it.

However, it was Saturday where all 17 of us really lived up to the phrase, as we prepared ourselves and bungee jumped off a 207ft bridge overtop of a river. Thinking about it the entire weekend was enough to shake me up, but seeing the bridge brought on a whole new emotion. I knew I wanted to do it and was going to, even if I was really nervous, because it’s definitely something I would’ve regretted missing out on. As I walked to the bridge and watched the first few people jump off, my nerves just got worse. Luckily, the loud music and atmosphere calmed me down a lot (and the fact that I didn’t jump for a while). Standing on the edge of the bridge, looking out into a beautiful river valley is when it really hit home. You really only live once, so there’s no time to be scared; it’s just about the moment and making the most of it. So that’s exactly what happened. The countdown commenced and I jumped off, free falling for a few seconds, and then experiencing the most amazing feeling in the world. As strange as it may seem, it was so serene and peaceful. I felt completely free, and it felt like I was there forever. A truly unbelievable thing.

The phrase works well to remind you to do adventurous things, but it’s the smaller experiences that mean the most. Whether going to Khayelitsha and having snacks with the Firefighters at the book club, or bowling with my little sister Zintle, it’s sharing those moments and making the most of every second that really reminds me that I have to live in the minute. I think this trip has really been important in reminding me not to overlook the small stuff and not to pass up the big, and possibly scary stuff either. But to accept everything as it is presented and to never leave space for the “what ifs.” You really only live once, and this is South Africa after all, so you might as well make the most of it!

Meika's teambuilding with co-educators

Well, I’ve decided to write another blog post about my co-educators.  We just returned from a long weekend together on the Garden Route, and I am filled with appreciation and love for them all.  This trip ended up being a real bonding session.  I think this is largely due to the support we gave each other while jumping off of various things, such as cliffs and bridges. 

On Friday, a large group of us went kloofing on the Kaaimans River.  Kloofing is basically an outdoor activity that involves hiking, swimming, scrambling, and cliff jumping.  (I recently learned that kloofing comes from the Afrikaans word, “kloof,” which means ravine.)  Our guide, Steve, took us on a trail to the river where we started to swim together.  The river went through a canyon, and the sight of it was awe-inspiring.  The rock went high above our heads and had deep, cutting ridges.  It was covered in hanging vines and vegetation.  As we travelled down the river, Steve would point out good spots to jump from.  The jumps ranged from 3 to 11 meters.  We cheered and counted each other down.  When someone was afraid, we’d all encourage them to try.  I felt so proud of Becky when she jumped off of a high cliff after some hesitation.  And Kimmi was the first to jump off the 11 meter cliff (where there was also a shelf jutting out a bit below), and I was inspired by how badass it was.  We stopped halfway through, sat in the sun, and enjoyed hot coffee and cookies together.  In the end, everyone was exhausted and in mild pain but the mood was elation.  

Then on Saturday, we all went to the Bloukrans Bridge just over the Eastern Cape border to bungee jump.  I always knew I was going to do it but that didn’t stop me from constant worrying and anxiety.  The night before I had practiced jumping off a bench several times with Theresa, Dan, and Nellie watching.  This jump is the highest bungee jump in the world, and the bridge is the largest in Africa.  The actual sight of this bridge was terrifying.  It is an enormous cement structure over a deep, deep gorge.  I know a few of us had serious doubts but we all ended up going which was so cool.  While we waited to jump they played music and we danced.  It was comforting to watch my friends go before me and come back saying how incredible it was.  After I went, all I wanted to do was encourage everyone who was waiting.  It was the craziest experience, and I’m so glad we all did it together.  This weekend was some serious teambuilding.

(Clockwise from bottom left) Amariliz, Dan, Meika, Maria, Rebecca, Alex,
Brandi, Sam, Rina, Kimmi, Nellie, Nicole, Ryan

Rina's Vacation in Paradise

Vacation from Paradise

We're back from an adrenaline-packed adventure in Plettenburg Bay, one of the stops along the Garden Route.  The views of lusciously green, mountainous landscapes, and beautifully blue oceans were quite stunning.  We booked our own private transport and stayed for three nights at a backpackers, which is basically a hostile.  The place had multiple bedrooms with bunk beds, and a fully equipped communal kitchen.  From the balcony you could see the view of the ocean, and the backyard with all its hammocks and swings, and a fire pit.  I never thought I would need a vacation from Cape Town, but this place was my ideal paradise.  As much as I love the city, it was nice to get away for a weekend, and enjoy a different sort of lifestyle.  Venturing out through the forest and into Silver River was just as exciting as it was peaceful.  One moment, we were walking along the large river rocks, and the next, we were floating on our backs through the mountains.  Our kloofing guide, Steven, told us when and where it was safe to climb up and jump into the river.  We went off jumps ranging from 5 to 11 meters.  We had to push ourselves and each other to jump off a cliff-edge into the water, and continue on our way down the river.  The whole experience was extremely exhilarating, and truly a team-building exercise for the twelve of us that went.  

The next day, we woke up early to go bungee jumping off Bloukrans Bridge, which won the Guinness Book of World Records for the highest commercial bungee bridge in the world!  I was so proud that everyone was able to conquer their fears, and followed through with the jump.  A couple of us adrenaline-junkies actually jumped a second time, backwards!  What scared me more than bungee jumping backwards and cliff jumping was what happened saturday evening.. 

Amariliz and I decided that it would be fun to go swimming at the beach when it had started to rain.  The waves were huge, and you could tell a storm was brewing..  but that didn't stop us from swimming.  We were alone on the beach besides a few courageous (and probably experienced) surfers, and three fishermen that stood on the rocks alongside the beach.  I had never felt so scared for my life until that moment that I couldn't reach the bottom of the ocean anymore, and I realized I had swam out too far.  I tried to swim back to the shore, but I found myself struggling to stay above the water, with the waves crashing over my head, and pulling me backwards.  I called out to Amariliz for help, and she directed me to swim diagonally, parallel to the shore.  I tried as much as I could, but I was already exhausted, and beginning to panic, and lose hope.  Despite all the EMT training she'd been given, Amariliz came in to help me, but only to get herself caught in the riptide as well.  That's when we started to scream for help, and the fishermen were waving there arms trying to get some attention from the surfer, but with no such luck.  I was really struggling to stay above water and avoid swallowing more seawater, when Amariliz realized the fishermen were waving us to come toward the rocks, which were closer than the shore... We changed directions and swam for the rocks.  Finally I could feel dirt under my feet and I grabbed hold of the nearest rock.  I looked for a bigger rock and just when I hugged it, a huge wave came crashing down, I warned Amariliz to brace herself and we both got washed up against the rocks, cut and bruised, but alive.  I have a newfound appreciation for rocks.  I have never been so scared of the ocean, or considered how dangerous it could really be, even though it may seem like common sense.  I think drowning would be the worst way to die.  You're seriously fighting for your life until there comes a point where you just can't anymore, and you have no choice but to give up.  We didn't give up; it wasn't our time.  I hate that I put my best friend's life at risk but I feel blessed that we both made it out.  I am so grateful, and I thank GOD that we are still here, with some minor grazes.  Amariliz, I love you, you are my lifesaver, you are my rock.   

Kimmi's Plettenberg Bay Weekend

Thursday April 12, 2012-Sunday April 15, 2012

Started off the weekend with a long bus ride to Plettenberg Bay. We arrived at the hostel at around 2am in the morning. This weekend I experienced a lot of firsts. The first one was the hostel. I have traveled a lot but I have never had the opportunity to stay in a hostel. I had a great experience and loved it. I shared a room with five other girls we slept in bunk beds, which reminded me of camp. We chit chatted into the late hours of the night.  It was like being able to have a sleepover with your best friends every night. This weekend was a great bonding experience and I have realized how close and comfortable I am around all the other UConn students on this trip.

On Friday twelve of us went kloofing. If you do not know what that is basically we were all geared up in wet suits, life jackets and sneakers. We hiked to get to the river, swam and stopped at cliffs to jump off of them. We jumped off a total of three cliffs. The highest one was 11.5m, which is a little bit over 30 feet high. That was the scariest one because you had to crawl up a hill in the woods and you had to dodge a rock on the way down. As soon as I got to the top some were waiting around but I knew that I couldn’t wait and I just had to go and do it. This was a good bonding experience because we were all encouraging each other and cheering each other on. Some got very afraid at the top and were afraid of heights so these cliffs were a big challenge. It was just so satisfying not only for those girls but also for me when they jumped off the cliff. I was so proud of them and excited that they conquered their fear. We were able to explore the Main Street and shop and look for a place to eat. We found a restaurant with a nice variety that seemed suitable for everyone. All us went out to dinner in celebration of Theresa’s birthday!

Saturday was another unforgettable day. We all started off with bungee jumping! It was 216m jump! The bridge is the highestbridge in South Africa and the highest commercial bungee jump in the world! We all walked over together and the whole time there was music pumping and we were all dancing and cheering others on. This was another great accomplishment for those who were afraid of heights. There was this one lady who you could tell was very afraid but we cheered for her and encouraged her and she did it. She said that in the end our encouragement really helped her. I was nervous when I got to the edge and my toes were dangling off the side. It was an indescribable feeling when you go from pump up music to complete silence and peacefulness. There I felt the most relaxed and at peace. For those quick 30 seconds or so it was just me free falling in the sky. It’s scary thinking that I only had a rope attached to my feet but when you jump it is the most peaceful and beautiful thing. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Later on that day we went over to an elephant sanctuary where we all were able to pet the elephants and feed them. They were all so gentle and nice and their skin was so rough. It was awesome being able to get that close and touch them. These elephants were orphans and there is no beating or physical violence done to the elephants when they train them. To finish off a perfect day we all watched a movie, Mean Girls together and sat around the campfire and talked. It was nice because everyone was so relaxed and comfortable there. I really enjoyed this weekend with all of the adventurous events and bonding. I missed the people who had to stay back in Cape Town and wish everyone could have come. I wish we would have had the chance to experience this earlier but in a way it was a nice way to spend one of our last weekends in South Africa.

Brandi: Oh what a life

Oh what a life

The past week has gone by ridiculously fast. I wish I could describe all the crazy things I have done since last Thursday, so I will do the best I can in this post. So I will start with last Thursday, April 12^th. Wellllll I don’t know how to put this gently but three of my friends and I spent the day in a cage under water in the Indian Ocean diving with great white sharks. IT WAS INSANE. My friend Kristin’s parents were here from the states so her dad took Maria, Nicole, Kristin and I shark cage diving that day. We left early in the morning and drove to Gansbaii, which is a bay about two hours away. We got there around nine in the morning and got a nice breakfast by the organization we were diving with. At ten we were on the boat and heading out to open water! It was really cool to watch exactly what they do to bring the sharks up to the boat. They cut up nasty tuna into something called chum and let it be taken away by the current so the sharks taste it wherever they are. They then follow their senses to the place where the boat is.

           

There is a lot of controversy over whether this is bad for the sharks- bringing them into unnatural habitats and getting too used to humans. However, the place where we were was where sharks naturally come (I believe). Anyway, they chummed the water and would throw this flat black kick board into the water to make the sharks think it was a seal. Along with that they had a giant hunk of tuna on a rope that they would throw in the water to get the sharks attention. Anyway, when we first got there all the sharks were over at another boat about a hundred feet away. Our boat kept in contact with the other boat and when they left we swooped in and took their spot. Before we knew it we had huge sharks swimming around our boat! Some of them were as big as four to five meters- it was crazy.

           

The five of us (including Kristin’s dad) suited up in our ridiculously tight wet suits, goggles and waited to hop into the cage. When I first put my legs over the side of the boat to climb through the small bars to drop into the cage- I can admit I was very scared. I wasn’t scared of the sharks or the water, but I was more scared because I had no idea how to hold my head above water to breathe but look underwater to see the sharks. On top of that, there is a bar at the bottom of the cage underwater that you are supposed to put your feet on to stand on, but my feet kept slipping off of that and onto the outside of the cage where the sharks were! Once I got my bearings in the water (in the cold cold water) I was excited and ready to see some huge sharks.

           

While under the water, I got to see these great big sharks swim by. A guy from the crew stands above the water and shouts “down!” every time a shark is close enough to see. So we went down and up for about fifteen to twenty viewings of sharks during out first time in the cage. Nicole was on the end of the cage with me right next to her, and then Maria was next to me and Kristin was next to her. Right as we were about to leave, a huge shark came up and the hunk of tuna in its mouth and went straight into the side of the cage! Its jaws were opened and I swear Nicole and I jumped a mile. It was so cool but so scary! We got out after that and had a little time to rest on the boat. Then we all went back into the water two more times to have up close and personal encounters with these great whites. At one point during out third time in the cage, Nicole and I were standing next to each other and out of no where this giant shark’s face in actually in the cage right in front of Nicole! Its nose had stuck through the opening where our faces were! It was really really cool.

           

After our time was up with the sharks, we took the boat ride back to land where the little cottage was. The landscape surrounding where we went shark cage diving was incredible. There were mountains with this beautiful beach with pure white sand. It literally looked like a backdrop painted on a canvas put up for us to look at. It was amazing. Once we got back we rested for a few minutes, got changed and headed back on the two-hour drive back to Cape Town.

           

Now, I am leaving out a little bit from this story. I failed to mention how on that Thursday almost our whole group of students (about 17 out of the 21 of us) were getting on a bus and heading to Platenburg Bay. The bus was set to pick us all up at 4pm….however Maria, Kristin, Nicole and I didn’t get back until almost 5:30 so we held up the entire group from our 8 hour bus trip. That was completely our faults, and it caused some serious issues between different people in our group. Once people got it out of their system at how angry they were at us, we were on our way to Plettenberg. I had already packed the night before and literally threw my stuff on the bus and we were basically ready to go. So I spent the next nine hours (it took longer then expected) on a bus with all 17 of us.

           

We got to the hostel at about 2 am. It was a cute little place, with very nice rooms for us to sleep in. I slept in a six-person room and got a bottom bunk right below Maria. The beds were so comfortable and I slept like a baby that night. However our sleep wasn’t really a full night because we woke up 5 hours later to go kloofing! Now what is kloofing you might ask? It is jumping off of cliffs into a river below. IT. WAS. AWESOME. We got driven to a national park, and to the cottage where the kloofing was run out of. We had to put wet suits on and big life jackets and we were on our way. We got into a van that all of us fit into (twelve of us went on this adventure) and got dropped off at the starting point of our hike. We hiked through the woods for about half an hour, and then came to the mouth of this little river. Our guide told us it was super clean water and that we could drink it right from the stream. So I did! It was great and tasted so refreshing. Anyways, we all jumped in the water and started off down stream. Our guide had this waterproof bag that floated in the water with him with all of our cameras in it. It was really cool.

I had no idea what it was going to be like when we found a cliff and I was soon to find out. Our guide stopped out of nowhere and showed us two different cliffs we could just off of. We had to climb out of the water up the side of the cliff and jump off. There were two- one was 4 meters and the other was higher then that. I was kinda nervous at first but once I jumped I realized there was nothing I could do about it now. Landing in the water was kind of hard sometimes too. If you landed just the least bit sideways, you got slapped really really hard. I wish I could say that after a few jumps I managed to jump straight- but that’s not true. It hurt pretty badly sometimes but the sting wore off after a while. We kept swimming down the river and he showed us more cliffs to jump off of. The hardest part about jumping was the mentality to through myself off a cliff. It was terrifying to look over the edge and see how far down it was. But once I got the courage to jump it felt so good to realize I actually did it. The tallest cliff we jumped off of was 11 meters, which is about 35 feet. It was a ridiculous jump, and we had to clear a whole other cliff below it before we hit the water. I have to say that was the most scared I have ever been on this trip. But once I did it (and got over the feeling of being run over by a truck) I was very proud of myself!

After our time kloofing, the bus got us and took us back to our hostel. We relaxed for a bit then went exploring the cute little town. There were all kinds of stores and restaurants and you could see the ocean from the hill our hostel was on. It was the perfect area and I had so much fun eating, exploring, then eating some more. I got this awesome sushi from this little market that sold all this great food- salmon califonia roll- YUM. That night our whole group went out to dinner and had a great time just laughing and having fun.

           

The next morning we all woke up early again and got on the bus to drive to- wait for it- the highest commercial bungee bridge in the world!!!! We got there and I think everyone was nervous. I’m not gonna lie, I certainly was. And I think the line in the girl’s bathroom proves that fact too. Anyway, we got harnessed up and walked with our guide across the thin wire bridge that led us over the ravine 719 feet below. Looking down, as we were walking- I became increasingly more excited and nervous. I felt like I couldn’t show that I was nervous because there were so many more people around me more nervous then I was, but that didn’t stop me from feeling it. Once we got up there, everything was a blur. The DJ started playing music and suddenly- people started to get strapped up. Kelsey was first and I give her so much credit for actually doing it. I would have been terrified to go first! As I watched more and more people throw themselves off of the bridge, I become increasingly more nervous, but even more excited. I just wanted to do it! Finally, it was my turn. Since a lot of other people had gone, the workers were trying to get other members of our group to walk back and not watch us. But Dan insisted that they stay and cheer us on- and I was so grateful. As I walked up to the edge I cant even remember what I was thinking. I think I just was trying to get enough will power to convince myself that I would be safe, that my feet wouldn’t slide through the squishy plastic thing held on my ankle, and that I would come out of this alive. Before I knew it I was hearing “ 5 4 3 2 1- BUNGEE!” and there I went with my arms open wide. I was free falling off of the bridge into the trees and ground below! Then suddenly I was pulled back up by the chord and free falling all over again. It was the coolest sensation to keep my eyes open and just watch as I fell over and over again. I felt oddly free. Finally as the chord (which was kind of like a giant elastic) stopped swinging me I just hung there waiting for someone to get me. I was so excited that I survived and even more excited that I had actually accomplished it! A guy came down and hooked me to the line and brought me back up to the top. Once I was back up there I felt like I could do anything! I cheered on the rest of my friends still to jump, and then we headed back to land. We went to the store where they had our pictures and videos and made our purchases. Then we were off to our next adventure!

           

Our next adventure was hanging out with elephants as an elephant sanctuary. We got to feed them, play with them, pet them and even kiss them! it was really cool to see the huge animals up close and personal.

           

Our drive home Sunday was nice- I can’t say uneventful because everything is an event when we all travel together. But we got home safe and sound and even went and saw the Hunger Games together.

           

This past week has been a mix of emotions, from sadness to joy to a feeling of anxiety. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were spent at Christel House at my second to last week with them. I think that is going to be one of the hardest, if not the hardest, parts about leaving Cape Town. I have been talking my kids through the fact that I do have to leave, and I still get choked up about it. Wednesday night I went to Khayelitsha with some of my friends to help with the last night of the tutoring program with the Firefighters soccer team. Since I have only been able to go one other time this semester, I wanted to go for a final time to say goodbye. I don’t think it has hit me yet that I probably won’t see any of these kids again…

           

Thursday was another eventful day. As we all know, we always go to class at UCT on Thursdays. We got to class on time and settled in for our review for our exam next week. Then as things would work out, Nicole ended up needing to go to the emergency room and I took the trip with her! Nobody worry, she is perfectly fine- just an allergic reaction that needed to be taken care of as soon as possible.

           

Anyway, I got to play nurse that day which I seriously loved- it gave me time alone at the house while Nicole was in a deep sleep from all the medication she was on! Then that afternoon we took a trip to the bowling alley in Cavendish to meet our little sisters for one last time. That was really hard for me too. I don’t want the girls to think that people will come into their lives and leave them again like we are leaving them. I just hope they know how much we all love them. I promised to keep in contact with my little sister as well.

           

Friday was another tough day of saying goodbye. We went to Ocean View for our final time with the tutoring program. The kids had made up dances and one of the older girls read a version of the poem I had posted earlier on my blog. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (Marianna Williamson) She read it with such courage and conviction. I was so proud of her, in fact I was so proud of all the kids we worked with at Ocean View. The kids even handed out certificates to us tutors and we got to give them certificates for their hard work too. It was so so hard to say goodbye to the girl I had worked with since starting the tutoring program. She was such a hard worker and even through her tough circumstances was always smiling. The director of the program (and the girl who read the poem) told us how their marks in their math classes had improved and we had helped them a lot. I am so grateful to have been a part of that and so grateful for Chantel and Kelsey for starting the program.

           

So where does that leave me now? Well it leaves me sitting at our dining room table in the big house, eating packaged soup, thinking about life, leaving, and how hard it has always been to say goodbye. But I learned something from camp this past summer that I can take with me and apply it to saying goodbye to my kids here. Instead of saying goodbye and ‘see ya never’ we can always say “see ya down the road”. And I think that’s what I need to do. Even if this is goodbye for forever or for a very long time, I’ll see ya down the road.

"You and I will meet again, 
When we're least expecting it, 
One day in some far off place, 
I will recognize your face,
I won't say goodbye my friend,
For you and I will meet again." 
– Tom Petty