Rebecca on the challenges of communal living

Rebecca & Kimmi

Loch Road, South Africa: Where the seventeen of the twenty-one students writing this blog currently reside.  That’s a lot of people in one house sharing kitchens, bathrooms, and common living areas.  I have decided that one of the biggest challenges on this study abroad program is communal living.  Most of us have never lived in a house with this many students our age, and at times it can really be a challenge.   There are two kitchens in the house, and so far one of the major challenges we have all faced is the issue of dirty dishes: Who does them? How often? And Who empties the drying rack? In the house there are three differing opinions in response to these questions: One is that everyone takes care of their own dishes IMMEDIATELY after they are used, Two is that it is acceptable to leave your dishes in the sink and wash them at a later date, and then the last group consists of those who do not care when the dishes are done.  Other kitchen issues have included the cleanliness of countertops, refrigerator space, and who should be using which of the two kitchens.  In a house of seventeen people, these trivial issues all of a sudden become the catalysts for heated debates.  At one of our house meetings, (we have house meetings once a week that are facilitated by our two wonderful Resident Assistants) conversations centering around the kitchen were lasting an absurd amount of time.   While we were all concerned about the kitchen, people ten minutes away from us don’t even have kitchens. 

Kitchen rules are not the only issue we have to deal with due to communal living, but it is one that for me highlights how fortunate I am.  I am living in another country, in a house much larger than any I have ever lived in, with an amazing group of peers, when so many people in South Africa are living in informal housing structures with no running water or appliances.  The fact that we all even have the opportunity to argue over kitchen space and cleanliness highlights the many amenities we have available to us. 

Another trial of communal living is being sensitive to the needs of others.  When we live at home with a family, we know the rules, and we know we always be forgiven for a fauz pas in our household behavior.  Here, we are living with students that we have only known for a few months, and we all have to set the rules together.  I know that personally I value my sleep, so I don’t like noise late at night.  I could either have thought about it for months and let the issue become larger, or spoken up for myself which is what I did.  Being respectful and conscious of all the other house mates can be really difficult especially when there are opposing living styles.  My teacher Marita made a very good point today which was that communal living can be the most difficult part of the trip because it usually is not one of the challenges that students expect to face when coming to South Africa.  Many people in the house are very strong-minded (which I’m not saying is good or bad) leading to many arguments over trivial issues such as clean dishes.  One of the prime questions I have to constantly be asking myself is, “Is this issue important enough for me to argue over it?”  Most of the time the answer to that question is no.  I think I, and many other people in the house, need to ask ourselves this question more often. 

I hope that those of you who read this blog aren’t bored by my choice of a topic for this blog post. To me sometimes the everyday issues we face in our lives are important to reflect upon.  I’ve never had to live with this many people before and I think it is leading to me being more flexible in my everyday life.