Monday, June 25, 2012

Rebecca learned many valuable lessons


Prior to leaving Cape Town reach co-educator wrote a paper in response to the following questions: How do you expect the experiences and knowledge gained this semester to influence your future career and life choices?; What have your learned about race and gender that you believe is important for you to know as you strive to become a more well informed global citizen?; What have you learned about yourself that you believe is important for you to know?  

Rebecca has agreed to post her answers as her final entry on this blog.




Coming to Cape Town was a huge step in my life.  Ever since high school I have been pretty sure I want to be a high school teacher, and history was always my favorite subject so I could not fathom teaching any other subject.  Last year I had a small panic attack over whether I should really be a teacher.  It took me a couple of months and volunteering with a government housing project’s community’s center to really remember the reasons I wanted to be a teacher.  After being here all semester I still want to be a teacher, but I have realized that I may eventually want to get my doctorate and become a professor.   Being here has made me realize that I don’t have to pick one.  I can do both.  I definitely learned this from talking with Marita and the other people who are on this experience.  Being in a classroom all semester and having a positive relationship with the students, made me realize that while yes I still see myself as being a strict teacher one day, I know that I can have fun in the classroom also.  This will also hopefully influence the way I act at my summer job.  Over the summer I am a counselor at a YMCA day camp.  I believe I just got promoted to a group leader position, which gives me much more responsibility than last summer.  While I won’t loose my organized, strict approach (I have to pick up the other counselor’s slack a lot) I hope to use some of the more relaxed discipline techniques I picked up at Christel House. 
           
I am scared of almost everything.  It’s kind of the way I go about life.  Even though this may not appear to be so, I now feel confident in my ability to travel abroad more often without having mind-numbing fears the entire time.  I want to travel around the world: Europe, India, China, South America, you name it, I want to go.  I also want to see more of the United States.  For the longest time my grandparents lived in Florida so every year on our vacation we would travel to see them.  While I would never trade those times, I feel like now I have more mobility to see the rest of our country.  As a nation we are very diverse, and because I want to be a history teacher I want to be able to see the rest of the country that I will be spending a lot of my time educating about. 
           
One very important thing I have learned about not even race, but about ridding the world of racism, is that we cannot ignore race.  That will not make racism go away.  By ignoring it, we are simply neglecting to acknowledge the fact that we are different and that is not just ok, but great.  We can all learn so much if we simply realize that our differences can bring us together instead of pushing us apart.  The first time I realized this was when we visited Elowabeeni and Brittany & Erica shared their experience, which was so radically different from the rest of ours.  This was the start, but it took many more such discussions for me to become comfortable to talk about race with people who don’t have the same skin color as me. 

Another thing I learned, or experienced, about race is how uncomfortable it can be, being the only person of a skin color in the room.  I have ridden on buses to Khayletshia where I am one of three white people (the others are all on our trip), in a classroom all day where I am the only white person.  I used to think well as long as no one acts racist someone’s who black, Asian, Indian, etc. will not feel out of place.  Well fortunately I have learned how untrue that thought could be.  Being white attracts attention almost everywhere I go in Cape Town.  I can’t hide it, I am always noticed.  Yet I have always felt more comfortable when someone acknowledges my skin color instead of just pretending they don’t notice it because I know they do.  It’s definitely a life lesson to learn, especially since I want to be a teacher.
           
Another thing I have learned about is white privilege.  To me this was the missing piece of the puzzle when talking about the system of meritocracy.  In a social anthropology class I took I learned that meritocracy was a myth, yet it didn’t make sense because my Dad and his siblings had all risen from the lower class to the middle class.  Learning that race is the piece of the puzzle that makes the meritocracy a myth for so many people, really made sense to me. 
           
Learning about gender images etc. was a really enjoyable process for me and it didn’t make me uncomfortable like discussions of race.  I knew about gender inequalities before coming here.  I grew up in a family of extremely strong women, which is why this wasn’t all new information.  I liked seeing all the things that make me think I need make-up to look better, or wear push-up bras etc. Some things I still don’t mind, like looking pretty, what I mind is that the standards for beauty are so narrow: a pretty face, impossibly skinny body, big boobs, long hair, etc.  It’s all impossible for the average women.  I grew up in a household of extremely gorgeous women (by society’s standards) and I was always the ugly duckling.  My sister is much skinnier than I, my Mom thinks she’s fat, my aunt and her two daughters spend more time getting ready in one day than I would spend in an entire week.  It was really crushing to my self-esteem.  My parents would always tell me that what really mattered was how smart and talented I was, but I got an entirely different message when I would see my Mom looking in the mirror and being dissatisfied constantly, or when my sister was the one who always got the compliments about her beauty and how thin she was, but I was the second thought.  Spending time with my Dad’s family was always so much better because instead of just saying that the important things were being smart and talented, they actually were.  No one ever dressed all fancy or wore lots of make-up.  I always got books for presents because they read and really loved them.
           
I will not lie and say that I can completely erase the way I think about myself and body image, but I am more aware of what made me think this way.  Not only this but I promise now, my daughters (or sons even though I really want girls haha) will never see me criticizing my body because it is not fair that we make young girls in our society feel this way. This fits in more with how this trip has influenced my future, and this is probably the most important thing I have learned.  It took me until high school to have the confidence in myself I now have, and it took a really amazing guy friend to show me how pretty I really am, and not by society’s standards but mine.  I want my future offspring to see the beauty in everyone starting from the day they’re born. 

In connection with becoming a global citizen, I can easily see now how people all over the world have different standards of beauty, and if this is true than there is no one way to be beautiful.  Understanding this I realize just like race is socially constructed, so is beauty.  There may be some science to how symmetry is attractive to the human eye, but that doesn’t explain the image of big boobs, skinny body, big butt etc.  I was looking through trip pictures today, and I have stunning pictures of everyone.  These people all mean so much to me, and are so good, that I can’t imagine thinking of them as anything other than beautiful, and I want to apply this to the rest of my life. 
           
Another important thing I learned is how important it truly is to not judge others.  I used to say, “No I’m not judging you,” when really I was in my head I just wasn’t saying it.  Here I learned a great deal about so many different people and their lives, which I really have learned to not judge people.  It was a hard lesson to learn, but I am definitely getting better at it.  Also it is important to not judge people, or write them off because they are different than you.  I never would have made these amazing friends if I met them all at UCONN.  I would have missed out on so much if I had not been thrown together with them in another country. 
           
What I have learned about myself may be more difficult for me to write about.  I have seen how selfish and ignorant I was when I would complain about minorities receiving preference occasionally when it would come to college acceptance or scholarships.  This may be the most important lesson I have learned all semester, In order to make the world an equal, better, place those who have privilege need to give some of it up.  It’s a hard lesson to grapple with especially because being white, I am privileged and I have had struggles in my life so the idea of maybe having more of them is definitely not appealing, but it must be done.  I have also learned that I am much stronger than I ever thought.  I am strong enough to advocate for change, even if it is a quiet way, I am strong enough to stick out from the crowd, and I am strong enough to stick up for myself when someone treats me poorly instead of just ignoring it. 
           
This time in Cape Town has changed my life.  I cannot begin to put everything down on paper.  It all means so much to me and I would not change anything.

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