Theresa's reflections upon leaving Cape Town

Wrote this a while ago when all my feelings were still fresh but haven't had internet on my computer/memory stick to get it to an internet cafe, but here it is! 

Nellie & Theresa

Having left Cape Town over two weeks ago, it seems that some self-reflection and pause is necessary in order to truly understand the novelty, wonder and joy of my time (our time?) in Cape Town.  I am lucky that I have not ended my adventures in Africa; in fact, I still have much time left on this wondrous, diverse continent, with 3 months left in East Africa, first in Tanzania and then in Uganda.

At present, Nellie and I are staying with family friends in Arusha, Tanzania.  We are lucky enough to be in the shadow of another great mountain; Mt. Meru.  But with the semi-awkward timing of our trip, we have landed in the depths of Tanzania’s rainy season and the mountain has barely made its presence known.  Hiding behind a curtain of rain clouds and trees, Mt. Meru seems bashful and timid compared to Table Mountain. 

I miss the silhouette of Table Mountain, the omnipresence of dichotomy; the reminder that we are part of something bigger, a grand scheme, of some type of wonderful oneness with the earth and its creatures; but also the reminder of our individual insignificance, of our fragile transience, of being just a blip in the big bang of creation. 

In class and with my co-educators, we spent much time talking of the clean-cut relief that dichotomies can provide; bad and good, black and white, rich and poor.  We discussed on numerous occasions, the desire of Western culture, of our culture, to organize everything, so that we can have tidy, neat packages that can be presented to the masses.  But the more we talked through/about poverty, capitalism, feminism, racism, democracy, plutocracy, education, inequality, philosophy, generosity, greed, self-indulgence, appreciation, righteousness, religion, morality, community, individuality, the more we realized that we would come to a bypass (using Western standards).  That no easily deliverable, well packaged campaign stances came out of our conversations.  That after hours of charged debate, thoughtful pauses, confident stances and retracted statements; we had nothing to show for it, other than the empty bottles and cigarette butts strewn about our feet. 

Then came the difficult part.  Sitting on the porch, with Table Mountain and the stars for company, came the self-reflection, self-loathing, forgiveness, confusion, celebration.  The reaching into the depths of my humanity, my mind, my soul, and my heart. No longer having the solid ground of my thoughts, I had to find some peace within the chaos of my mind; a sole survivor in the shipwreck of my being. 

My time in Cape Town was truly wonderful.  My co-educators in Cape Town were inspiring, energetic and people I trust to take care of the world.  My teachers were knowledgeable, stimulating, and people I am thankful for having paved the way for younger activists to join the celebration of human rights.  I emerge from my time in Cape Town blessed with the gift of Table Mountain’s dichotomies, that due to the inherent limitations of being a sole person I cannot and will not solve the problems of the world; but also more importantly with the understanding and wholeness that comes knowing of our unity, of oneness, of ubuntu, that I cannot exist without the we, that my existence has no meaning without the existence of the soil, and the mountains, and the animals, and the air and the people who inhabit this wonderful earth.