Theresa's reflections upon leaving Cape Town

Wrote this a while ago when all my feelings were still fresh but haven't had internet on my computer/memory stick to get it to an internet cafe, but here it is! 

Nellie & Theresa

Having left Cape Town over two weeks ago, it seems that some self-reflection and pause is necessary in order to truly understand the novelty, wonder and joy of my time (our time?) in Cape Town.  I am lucky that I have not ended my adventures in Africa; in fact, I still have much time left on this wondrous, diverse continent, with 3 months left in East Africa, first in Tanzania and then in Uganda.

At present, Nellie and I are staying with family friends in Arusha, Tanzania.  We are lucky enough to be in the shadow of another great mountain; Mt. Meru.  But with the semi-awkward timing of our trip, we have landed in the depths of Tanzania’s rainy season and the mountain has barely made its presence known.  Hiding behind a curtain of rain clouds and trees, Mt. Meru seems bashful and timid compared to Table Mountain. 

I miss the silhouette of Table Mountain, the omnipresence of dichotomy; the reminder that we are part of something bigger, a grand scheme, of some type of wonderful oneness with the earth and its creatures; but also the reminder of our individual insignificance, of our fragile transience, of being just a blip in the big bang of creation. 

In class and with my co-educators, we spent much time talking of the clean-cut relief that dichotomies can provide; bad and good, black and white, rich and poor.  We discussed on numerous occasions, the desire of Western culture, of our culture, to organize everything, so that we can have tidy, neat packages that can be presented to the masses.  But the more we talked through/about poverty, capitalism, feminism, racism, democracy, plutocracy, education, inequality, philosophy, generosity, greed, self-indulgence, appreciation, righteousness, religion, morality, community, individuality, the more we realized that we would come to a bypass (using Western standards).  That no easily deliverable, well packaged campaign stances came out of our conversations.  That after hours of charged debate, thoughtful pauses, confident stances and retracted statements; we had nothing to show for it, other than the empty bottles and cigarette butts strewn about our feet. 

Then came the difficult part.  Sitting on the porch, with Table Mountain and the stars for company, came the self-reflection, self-loathing, forgiveness, confusion, celebration.  The reaching into the depths of my humanity, my mind, my soul, and my heart. No longer having the solid ground of my thoughts, I had to find some peace within the chaos of my mind; a sole survivor in the shipwreck of my being. 

My time in Cape Town was truly wonderful.  My co-educators in Cape Town were inspiring, energetic and people I trust to take care of the world.  My teachers were knowledgeable, stimulating, and people I am thankful for having paved the way for younger activists to join the celebration of human rights.  I emerge from my time in Cape Town blessed with the gift of Table Mountain’s dichotomies, that due to the inherent limitations of being a sole person I cannot and will not solve the problems of the world; but also more importantly with the understanding and wholeness that comes knowing of our unity, of oneness, of ubuntu, that I cannot exist without the we, that my existence has no meaning without the existence of the soil, and the mountains, and the animals, and the air and the people who inhabit this wonderful earth. 

Kimmi learning from contrasts

Prior to leaving Cape Town reach co-educator wrote a paper in response to the following questions: How do you expect the experiences and knowledge gained this semester to influence your future career and life choices?; What have your learned about race and gender that you believe is important for you to know as you strive to become a more well informed global citizen?; What have you learned about yourself that you believe is important for you to know?  

Kimmi has agreed to post her answers as her final entry on this blog.

Over three and a half months I learned a lot through my internship, classes and experiences that I’ve had in South Africa. I expect the experiences and knowledge I gained this semester to influence my future career in many ways. I plan on becoming an elementary school teacher when I grow up. I think that through my internship I was able to learn more about the education system in South Africa and education in general. Here they tend to concentrate on more things such as stretching and doing exercises with the kids to increase their fine and gross motor skills that they do not concentrate on in the states. I have found that my teachers are a lot more open to their students about their private body parts and other topics such as drugs and alcohol. This may be different because of the type of school that Christel House is or may be part of the culture I’m not sure. It has been interesting to compare and contrast how they do things differently in the US versus South Africa though. It seems to me that both schools want to offer the best education to their students and work hard to do that. They just do that in different ways.

In the US they have taken out naptime and instead during that time the students are working hard in the classroom. In the states the teachers tend to push their students harder. I have learned from just observing the class certain techniques that my teacher uses in the classroom. For example, Miss Loren tends to use the students themselves when she is explaining a concept to them. One time she got Joshua (tallest boy in our class) and Sanele (smallest boy in our class) to stand in front of the class. She then asked the class who was taller and who was smaller. She told the class that Joshua was the tallest boy in the class and Sanele was the smallest boy in the class. She was teaching them the concept of small and large. I thought this was a creative and good way to teach it. It got the whole class engaged and the students liked being part of the exercise. Teaching techniques like this I will bring home to me and will use in the future when I am a teacher.

           

Miss Loren also taught me that you can discipline kids in different ways. In most of the classrooms that I have observed in the US the teachers use rewards methods to discipline the children such as the color chart and what not. In South Africa the teachers are stricter with the children and make them sit out or yell at them if they are misbehaving. This is a different approach to discipline and I have learned that both tend to work. At the beginning of the year like most teachers do Miss Loren and other teachers I have seen in the past have to lay down the rules in order for the students to respect them. You also have to be very patient and repetition is key. These are two constant things that I have seen in South Africa and the states that I will bring to my classroom in the future.

I have learned that you have to have a good balance between being too strict and showing your students how much you care and love them. Miss Loren at times will joke around with her kids and play with them. But the kids still know that she is the teacher and respect her as teacher. Whereas with me they seem to be a little bit confused at times see me more as a friend. This has been one of the challenges that I have had to face at Christel House to try to get the kids to respect me and see that I am equivalent to Miss Loren and Miss Alfreeda. I know that this will help me in the future when I become a teacher to learn how to control my class and get respect from my students.

As for life choices I have learned not to judge people just by looking at them. I have learned by living with sixteen other students naturally I formed first impressions and was not a fan of everyone at first. But throughout the three months I have started to get to know them more and more and have learned so much about and from each and every person. I know now that those first impressions I had on some people were not correct therefore I should not judge people just from one encounter with them. I need to take into account that you do not know what is going on within each person. You do not know what anyone is going through so with that knowledge I know that people have off days and significant things happen to people everyday that may shape the way they are acting that day. You cannot judge someone for not doing this or that because that person may just need time for themselves to reflect or may just need to rest because of something that has happened. I have also learned that even though some people may have done bad things like stolen your purse or laptop does not mean that they necessarily are a bad person. You do not know what type of situation they are in. You never know whether they are growing up on the streets and are hungry and have no money. Most of the time people in South Africa will steal because they are hungry and want food so they steal to sell your valuables. Most of the robbers have no intent to hurt you. It has also made me second guess about prisoners as well before I am ashamed at the way I looked at them like they were animals. Now I finally see that they are humans as well some may have something wrong with them but others may have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. You need to be more open towards people and be careful not to forget their backgrounds and where they are coming from. I have learned that you need to assume good intent and should not judge right away.

I have also learned that when I grow up I do not want to raise my kids by buying them gender specific toys or telling them not to run like a girl to try to encourage or motivate them to do better. I am going to try to not get the media to affect them and discourage them from trying to look like the people they see on TV or in the movies. I want the best for my kids and I want them to be open to people and different races. I want them to talk to me about race and become knowledgeable about the world and what is going on around us. I was ignorant about many things including race before I came on this trip. I do not want my kids to be ignorant but be aware and then hopefully they will spread the knowledge.

Through class I learned a lot about race and gender that I did not know in the past and other things that I knew already were reinforced. Some things I believe that are important are that racism still exists today! Many people tend to be oblivious to this because many people in the states do not like to talk about racism. I now see that it is important to talk to people about racism. I have learned from Brittany that it is better to recognize race, to see it, acknowledge it, and embrace it. She said that she wanted us to recognize that she was black and see how beautiful it is. She is right we shouldn't be shying away and we shouldn’t be ignoring that the fact that she is black because she is what she is and we should embrace it. Many people when describing others tend to feel awkward when they say she is black or Hispanic but what I have learned is that you shouldn’t because it is equivalent to saying he has brown hair or she has blue eyes. You should feel comfortable enough to recognize it and embrace it. This is important to know as I strive to become a well-informed global citizen because we should all be aware that we are different and celebrate our differences. It is important to know that we come from different backgrounds and each and every one of us is not going to be exactly the same. Many of us may find that we have certain things in common but we need to realize that we also have many differences. As a global citizen we need to make others aware that it is okay to be different. Our culture tends to think we need to be all alike and assimilate but our world would be a whole lot more boring if we were all the same. So why are we all striving to be the same? It beats me. But I know now that we need to learn to be open to talking to people about race and other differences and should embrace it and celebrate it instead of put others down for being or acting differently.

I have also learned that knowledge is key. Many do not know their basic human rights and do not realize that their human rights are being violated. All over the world we have this problem. I think it is important as a global citizen to make more and more people aware of their rights and encourage them to spread the knowledge. It is also important to recognize when others or your own rights are being violated and to do something about it. At times many people tend to just let it slip on by when they are being violated. In this sense we need to give others the knowledge so they will not be afraid to stand up for their rights. I know that I was guilty of letting things slip on by but now that I have the knowledge and know what my rights I will not let them slip again. I think by making others knowledgeable and giving them that confidence they need and this will help to get more and more people to stand up and work together to prevent others from violating human rights. I see now that every little bit counts and doing little things like that will make an impact. You need to start somewhere so this is where we can start by speaking up and saying something.

To be honest talking about myself and what I have learned on this trip is one of the hardest questions to answer. From being in South Africa I have learned that in the US the society and also my family has tended to put a lot of pressure on me to succeed and do well in school. I have always been put under pressure to get good grades and to make money since I was little. I got a job as soon as I was legal to work even a year younger (shh don’t tell). Society makes you think in a way that the only way you can be happy is if you have money and are able to buy and do nice things. What I have learned here is that is not where happiness comes from. I have learned that I have found joy by hiking, getting to know and hanging out with other people. I have learned about myself that I am very passionate about kids and love them to death. Kids are really what make me most happy. I will do anything for my Grade R kids and Ocean View kids. I have realized that this is why I want to become a teacher. I also really want to make an impact and want the kids to look back and remember me and hopefully what I have done has given them motivation to want to succeed and continue to study. After our last trip and tutoring session at Ocean View I have realized that I have made an impact on these kids. All the kids at Ocean View after were given the opportunity to write on the back of our certificates. The little boy I tutored and was close to, A-Jay, ended up writing that he loved me a lot and that he hoped that I loved him to. He said not to forget about him. This really hit me because I was worried this whole time that he would be the one forgetting about me. But in the end he was the one worrying that I would forget about him. He has improved so much and I have realized that I have impacted his life even if it is in a little way. I have motivated him to do well in school and now he is getting 90% in maths! I am so proud of him and cannot wait to keep in touch with him. I have realized that the same things in life that I may have not paid much attention to or thought did anything really do make a difference. Just by taking a few hours a week out of my time to go to Ocean View everyday Friday has helped these kids and has given them the confidence to succeed and do well. I am proud of each and every one of them. I have learned that I do have the power within me to help and tutor these kids. I am nurturing and caring and clearly it has showed through this tutoring but also at Christel House.

In the past I have had a hard time with confronting people and saying no. But now that I am in South Africa I have come a long way and actually have been confronting people about certain things that have been bothering me. I have learned to stand up for myself more and not let others take advantage of me. I have learned that at times I have been too nice and have grown to overcome confrontation and actually speak up. I have learned that now I have the knowledge to say something about race or when people’s rights are being violated.

I have learned that in the past I did tend to judge people and not like people because of the way that they acted towards me at first or how they looked. Now I realized how stupid that was because I was judging them before I even knew the. I have also learned that I tended to judge people I knew because they were mean to me or did not do this or that. Now I have realized that was stupid as well because I do not always know what people are going through. I cannot judge people because of one day they were in a bad mood.

I have also learned that I can empathize and sympathize with people. This was reinforced when I was tutoring the kids in Ocean View, my Grade R class and also conversations and instances I’ve had with people in the house. This is one quality that I know I have and always have had and I continue to keep it. I think it is a very important quality to have because it is easier to relate with others when I know what they are going through or can talk to them. I always try to be as approachable as possible and like it when people talk to me and vent to me. I like to be as helpful as possible. I have realized that at times I want to do everything and tend to overcommit. So here I have realized that I cannot and should prioritize things first. I cannot do everything or else I tend to get overwhelmed. So in the future I plan to do the things that are most important to me. I know that if I try to do everything I get too stressed out and tend to break down. This has shown me that I do need to set apart time for myself so that I can reflect and relax and gather my thoughts. I tend to be go go go all the time but I need to make time for myself and put myself first sometimes. 

Rebecca learned many valuable lessons

Prior to leaving Cape Town reach co-educator wrote a paper in response to the following questions: How do you expect the experiences and knowledge gained this semester to influence your future career and life choices?; What have your learned about race and gender that you believe is important for you to know as you strive to become a more well informed global citizen?; What have you learned about yourself that you believe is important for you to know?  

Rebecca has agreed to post her answers as her final entry on this blog.

Coming to Cape Town was a huge step in my life.  Ever since high school I have been pretty sure I want to be a high school teacher, and history was always my favorite subject so I could not fathom teaching any other subject.  Last year I had a small panic attack over whether I should really be a teacher.  It took me a couple of months and volunteering with a government housing project’s community’s center to really remember the reasons I wanted to be a teacher.  After being here all semester I still want to be a teacher, but I have realized that I may eventually want to get my doctorate and become a professor.   Being here has made me realize that I don’t have to pick one.  I can do both.  I definitely learned this from talking with Marita and the other people who are on this experience.  Being in a classroom all semester and having a positive relationship with the students, made me realize that while yes I still see myself as being a strict teacher one day, I know that I can have fun in the classroom also.  This will also hopefully influence the way I act at my summer job.  Over the summer I am a counselor at a YMCA day camp.  I believe I just got promoted to a group leader position, which gives me much more responsibility than last summer.  While I won’t loose my organized, strict approach (I have to pick up the other counselor’s slack a lot) I hope to use some of the more relaxed discipline techniques I picked up at Christel House. 

           

I am scared of almost everything.  It’s kind of the way I go about life.  Even though this may not appear to be so, I now feel confident in my ability to travel abroad more often without having mind-numbing fears the entire time.  I want to travel around the world: Europe, India, China, South America, you name it, I want to go.  I also want to see more of the United States.  For the longest time my grandparents lived in Florida so every year on our vacation we would travel to see them.  While I would never trade those times, I feel like now I have more mobility to see the rest of our country.  As a nation we are very diverse, and because I want to be a history teacher I want to be able to see the rest of the country that I will be spending a lot of my time educating about. 

           

One very important thing I have learned about not even race, but about ridding the world of racism, is that we cannot ignore race.  That will not make racism go away.  By ignoring it, we are simply neglecting to acknowledge the fact that we are different and that is not just ok, but great.  We can all learn so much if we simply realize that our differences can bring us together instead of pushing us apart.  The first time I realized this was when we visited Elowabeeni and Brittany & Erica shared their experience, which was so radically different from the rest of ours.  This was the start, but it took many more such discussions for me to become comfortable to talk about race with people who don’t have the same skin color as me. 

Another thing I learned, or experienced, about race is how uncomfortable it can be, being the only person of a skin color in the room.  I have ridden on buses to Khayletshia where I am one of three white people (the others are all on our trip), in a classroom all day where I am the only white person.  I used to think well as long as no one acts racist someone’s who black, Asian, Indian, etc. will not feel out of place.  Well fortunately I have learned how untrue that thought could be.  Being white attracts attention almost everywhere I go in Cape Town.  I can’t hide it, I am always noticed.  Yet I have always felt more comfortable when someone acknowledges my skin color instead of just pretending they don’t notice it because I know they do.  It’s definitely a life lesson to learn, especially since I want to be a teacher.

           

Another thing I have learned about is white privilege.  To me this was the missing piece of the puzzle when talking about the system of meritocracy.  In a social anthropology class I took I learned that meritocracy was a myth, yet it didn’t make sense because my Dad and his siblings had all risen from the lower class to the middle class.  Learning that race is the piece of the puzzle that makes the meritocracy a myth for so many people, really made sense to me. 

           

Learning about gender images etc. was a really enjoyable process for me and it didn’t make me uncomfortable like discussions of race.  I knew about gender inequalities before coming here.  I grew up in a family of extremely strong women, which is why this wasn’t all new information.  I liked seeing all the things that make me think I need make-up to look better, or wear push-up bras etc. Some things I still don’t mind, like looking pretty, what I mind is that the standards for beauty are so narrow: a pretty face, impossibly skinny body, big boobs, long hair, etc.  It’s all impossible for the average women.  I grew up in a household of extremely gorgeous women (by society’s standards) and I was always the ugly duckling.  My sister is much skinnier than I, my Mom thinks she’s fat, my aunt and her two daughters spend more time getting ready in one day than I would spend in an entire week.  It was really crushing to my self-esteem.  My parents would always tell me that what really mattered was how smart and talented I was, but I got an entirely different message when I would see my Mom looking in the mirror and being dissatisfied constantly, or when my sister was the one who always got the compliments about her beauty and how thin she was, but I was the second thought.  Spending time with my Dad’s family was always so much better because instead of just saying that the important things were being smart and talented, they actually were.  No one ever dressed all fancy or wore lots of make-up.  I always got books for presents because they read and really loved them.

           

I will not lie and say that I can completely erase the way I think about myself and body image, but I am more aware of what made me think this way.  Not only this but I promise now, my daughters (or sons even though I really want girls haha) will never see me criticizing my body because it is not fair that we make young girls in our society feel this way. This fits in more with how this trip has influenced my future, and this is probably the most important thing I have learned.  It took me until high school to have the confidence in myself I now have, and it took a really amazing guy friend to show me how pretty I really am, and not by society’s standards but mine.  I want my future offspring to see the beauty in everyone starting from the day they’re born. 

In connection with becoming a global citizen, I can easily see now how people all over the world have different standards of beauty, and if this is true than there is no one way to be beautiful.  Understanding this I realize just like race is socially constructed, so is beauty.  There may be some science to how symmetry is attractive to the human eye, but that doesn’t explain the image of big boobs, skinny body, big butt etc.  I was looking through trip pictures today, and I have stunning pictures of everyone.  These people all mean so much to me, and are so good, that I can’t imagine thinking of them as anything other than beautiful, and I want to apply this to the rest of my life. 

           

Another important thing I learned is how important it truly is to not judge others.  I used to say, “No I’m not judging you,” when really I was in my head I just wasn’t saying it.  Here I learned a great deal about so many different people and their lives, which I really have learned to not judge people.  It was a hard lesson to learn, but I am definitely getting better at it.  Also it is important to not judge people, or write them off because they are different than you.  I never would have made these amazing friends if I met them all at UCONN.  I would have missed out on so much if I had not been thrown together with them in another country. 

           

What I have learned about myself may be more difficult for me to write about.  I have seen how selfish and ignorant I was when I would complain about minorities receiving preference occasionally when it would come to college acceptance or scholarships.  This may be the most important lesson I have learned all semester, In order to make the world an equal, better, place those who have privilege need to give some of it up.  It’s a hard lesson to grapple with especially because being white, I am privileged and I have had struggles in my life so the idea of maybe having more of them is definitely not appealing, but it must be done.  I have also learned that I am much stronger than I ever thought.  I am strong enough to advocate for change, even if it is a quiet way, I am strong enough to stick out from the crowd, and I am strong enough to stick up for myself when someone treats me poorly instead of just ignoring it. 

           

This time in Cape Town has changed my life.  I cannot begin to put everything down on paper.  It all means so much to me and I would not change anything.

Dan reflects on what he's learned

Prior to leaving Cape Town reach co-educator wrote a paper in response to the following questions: How do you expect the experiences and knowledge gained this semester to influence your future career and life choices?; What have your learned about race and gender that you believe is important for you to know as you strive to become a more well informed global citizen?; What have you learned about yourself that you believe is important for you to know?  

Dan has agreed to post his answers as his final entry on this blog.

Coming to Cape Town was one of the hardest things in my life to do. I have a feeling leaving from here will be just as hard. It took me a long time to settle into life here. For the first time in a long time I had an identity crisis, where I could not figure out where I fit into the group dynamic, or rather I could not figure out where I wanted to fit in. I struggled with this tremendously; I was not happy and more than once questioned my decision to come here. After all, I am so well grounded at UConn with a huge network of friends and acquaintances, plus a new girlfriend, it seemed silly to give up my last semester of that. Three and a half months later I could not be happier with my decision. South Africa is an amazing country that has opened my eyes to life I knew existed but had stayed away from. In Guatemala I was exposed first hand to what living in a developing community was like through a homestay program, but I feel Cape Town provided me a much greater appreciation to the affects of poverty and oppression on a specific segment of society. This appreciation came from hanging out with Bongi in Khayelitsha, from teaching at a school filled with “at-risk” students, from talking to locals that I met in my travels, and from the countless conversations I have had with John. These experiences have helped me become a more understanding and compassionate person towards my fellow human beings.

All of these experiences have ensured in me what I want to do with my life: something in the field of youth development. Okay, so maybe it is not that defined, but it is more defined than before my trip, and I will continue to use the experiences that are allowed to me based off of my time here to specify that desire. I have always known I wanted to “help” people, working with them, for them, but I was having a hard time narrowing that down. Being placed in what turned out to be a perfect internship allowed me the opportunity to test out teaching to see if it was something I wanted to do. Coming away from my time at City Mission Educational Services I have a definite direction of where I want my life to go from here.

Further, living in a house with sixteen other people has taught me a lot about myself in a way my internship and extracurricular activities could not. Aside from the afore mentioned struggle to fit in, I had to also constantly work on my relationships with so many different people at once. I have realized that I don’t function well when I’m frustrated, which again is something I had an idea about and now am sure about. This is something I really want to work on, as I will be frustrated at various points for the rest of my life and need to be able to manage it.

I would like to think I had a pretty good grasp on a variety of different social issues before coming on this trip. I have many very socially minded activist friends and have taken sociology classes such as White Racism and the Sociological Perspective on Poverty that have all opened my eyes to a variety of societal issues. Therefore, I did not have a profound life-altering realization of all the awful things that go on in this world like some of my fellow co-educators might have had. Instead, I learned from a more personal perspective what life is like as an oppressed person and what the effects of that oppression can be. I have learned to question things because more often than not it is not what it seems on the surface. This, however, comes into play on both sides, as I do not agree with all pieces of activism. This newfound perspective came as much from classroom lessons as it did from my internship and “activist projects,” as those were the places that I was most in tune with the life and happenings of others. These encounters were further developed through the various assigned class readings. What sticks out most in my mind of all of this is our recent lessons on what a “day in the life” of an oppressed person is like. That is something I have often times wondered about, so that lesson was incredibly eye opening.

 In regards to gender, the simple fact that I lived in a house with 14 women taught me a ton about what life is like in a male dominated society. People like Nellie and Theresa always kept me on my toes with what I was saying and how I was acting, again something I had been conscious of but what really driven home here. From class, the article and ensuing discussions we covered on sexist language (and for that matter racist language) was most meaningful to me. It took me a little while, and once again I’m not completely on board with everything, but I have a changed perspective on how such innocent and seemingly harmless words like “policeman” can actually completely change a person’s thinking.  I have started to monitor my language and catch/alter it whenever I slip up. 

Alex: reflecting on time in Cape Town

Prior to leaving Cape Town reach co-educator wrote a paper in response to the following questions: How do you expect the experiences and knowledge gained this semester to influence your future career and life choices?; What have your learned about race and gender that you believe is important for you to know as you strive to become a more well informed global citizen?; What have you learned about yourself that you believe is important for you to know?  

Alex has agreed to post her answers as her final entry on this blog.

Upfront I would like to note that I’m not sure I will be able to accurately put into words my true feelings about this program, the experiences I have had, and knowledge that I have gained while being here. When a place is able to truly impact one’s life in so many ways, I think it is hard to describe, and actually capture everything you want to say. Each day here has been a learning experience that I will be able to use for the rest of my life. Each person I have met has touched me one way or another, and I have learned more about peoples, cultures, and languages in three and a half months than I have in twenty years. These experiences and knowledge I have acquired over the months will definitely influence my future career. Having been able to intern at such an incredible non-profit organization, and seeing how they operate, will help me in the future when I apply to work at other non-profits. From my internship I’ve learned so much about working with people from different background and cultures, ways to communicate and get around language barriers, and how to learn new material quickly. All of these experiences will be most beneficial in helping me in the future. These experiences will also definitely influence my life choices. Taking the chance to come here showed me that I should grasp every opportunity presented, and I think I did that to the best of my ability here. Seeing how amazing the results are encourages me to continue accepting all options and opportunities. Everything I have been exposed to while in Cape Town will greatly affect my life choices. Whether it is being more sensitive and understanding about other peoples’ lives, or venturing back to Cape Town as soon as possible, I think that each day I live will have some part of Cape Town in it.

I think it would be impossible to come to Cape Town and not learn about race and gender. The “Rainbow Nation” has done a great job at exposing me to a variety of cultures and peoples, from whom I’ve learned so much. I think one of the most important things I’ve learned about race by being here is that it is completely arbitrary. I knew this when coming here, however learning about South Africa’s past, and just how random the racial categorization process was, really shows me how insignificant it is. Knowing this, and how continuing to use racial categories established during such a dreadful era can perpetuate racism is important. I can take away this knowledge and work to end it in the other cultures and countries I visit. The same is true for the knowledge I have gained about gender. Learning about it both in the classroom, as well as through people in the city, I think it has helped make me a much more informed individual. Seeing how the language we use can imply certain gender roles, and how we tend to neglect we are doing it because it is so “normal” in society, has really opened my eyes and has made me more conscious of how I speak. In addition, being in South Africa and learning how in certain cultures men treat women, or vice versa, is incredibly important. I’ve learned how women tend to stay in these roles, and I think this information will help me in the future trying to advocate for equality.

           

Being in South Africa has done more than just teach me about race, genders, and cultures; it has taught me so much about myself, as well as my place in the world. Through my experiences here, such as the Human Rights weekend, discussing topics with my co-educators and friends I have come to realize that what I believe is okay. I’ve always been told I am too idealistic in my thoughts and beliefs, however it is being in Cape Town that has showed me that that is okay, and that there is no such thing as “too idealistic.” I think most importantly I have learned how to be self confident in all that I do, and that mistakes are okay to make. I’ve also learned a lot about how I interact with others and how I tend to handle situations. From being around large groups of people, conflict is almost inevitable, and that is one thing I always strive to stay away from because it makes me anxious. However, from being here I’ve learned how to deal with my feelings better and in a much healthier manner. I think another thing I’ve learned about myself is that I’m extremely comfortable in foreign places, even if I am suddenly the minority. I’ve always loved people, but I think I’ve become much more outgoing here and learned about a whole new comfort zone that I have. All of the things I’ve learned about myself while in Cape Town have truly given me a sense of my entire identity. As cliché as it sounds, I think through my experiences here I’ve learned everything there is to know about myself at this point in time. My favorite thing that I’ve learned about myself by being here, however, is just how happy Cape Town makes me.

           

 

From experiences that have taught me about myself, to knowledge about other peoples, culture, and history, Cape Town has opened so many doors and opportunities for the future. I fell in love with the city from the very beginning, and the longer I have stayed here the more I never want to leave. The people I have met and grown close to have shaped my life in so many unexpected ways. A spur of the moment decision to come here, has turned out to be the biggest life changing trip I’ve ever taken. Marita, you were right- Cape Town really is amazing, and once you come here you’ll never want to leave.

Mackenzie: reflections on her experience

Prior to leaving Cape Town reach co-educator wrote a paper in response to the following questions: How do you expect the experiences and knowledge gained this semester to influence your future career and life choices?; What have your learned about race and gender that you believe is important for you to know as you strive to become a more well informed global citizen?; What have you learned about yourself that you believe is important for you to know?  

Mackenzie has agreed to post her answers as her final entry on this blog.

Honestly, it is going to be hard to put into words how influenced I have been by this semester. I have never been more grateful in my life as I am to have been accepted into this program. I know I can’t even fully see the changes in myself, and that they will truly blossom once I arrive back in my normal environment. However, I already feel the shifts within myself, and every moment here has been amazing. First off- aside from being in South Africa, being around this amazing group of my own fellow citizens has been probably one of the most life-changing experiences in my life thus far. I have never met people who have led me to question so much, who have taught me to self-reflect and to accept. These young adults chosen to come on this trip truly are unique, and I can say that with all of my heart. Each one of them has touched me in so many amazing ways. I learn even the smallest things about life from them, just from a simple conversation. I have learned what it is like to live and interact with people who are not the same as me – and that has affected me greatly. I grew comfortable with these new people, as we embarked on some uncomfortable experiences together. I learned to be patient with myself in opening up with these people. I learned who I was, and I’m so happy these individuals helped me to do that. Our classroom on Tuesday nights was, although long J, such a wild learning experience. Getting to see videos and learn about things that ACTUALLY matter has affected me greatly. I hate to knock UCONN, but I know I have spent many hours in classrooms in which I know I am learning things that will not matter to me later in life. But this class will stay with me forever. This class discusses issues that are so crucial to the bettering of this earth. Being in a space where we could learn, and then reflect, and then learn from each other was incredibly effective. Ideas that may have never crossed my mind were presented to me by my peers – I now fully understand why they are called my co-educators J. The class put us all on an even playing feel, often times that included Marita. We were learning from her, and she was learning from us – and it was beautiful. We respected each other, even when we disagreed.

Being at Christel House is something that is difficult to even begin to touch on. I fell in love with my students, and the staff. I am not sure how I am going to bring myself to leave, but I know that I am forever indebted to that school and the love it showed me. Watching my teacher, Ms. Angela, enthusiastically teach 30 5 year olds has been so motivating. The love she has for them inspires me, and reminds me of the wonderful people that exist on this earth. Amongst the bad things taking place in our world, here was a huge sighting of good. I learned that I did not want to be a social worker, I wanted to be a more nurturing role to these children. While a social worker does get to know children intimately, I observed that my teacher got to spend all day everyday with these kids – and that allowed her to be a more crucial role in their lives. It is something I am interested in, and will look into in the future. Career-wise, I have learned that I’m not entirely sure I am meant for one career – or a normal job. I have found some disagreement between myself and our current capitalist society. I’m sure all young people go through this, but I find myself (from much I have experienced on this trip) feeling as though I do not fit into the westernized society, and a lot of questions have gone through my mind. I have learned that there is no right or wrong way, and what seemed to be the right way of living fails to exist anymore in my mind. I have learned that what has showed to be the “natural” way of living has in fact been created, and because of this I am looking to my own heart and mind to dictate my life – as opposed to external sources. I have come to see that I become most anxious and stressed when I feel out of control in my life – and simply having the chance to observe this and acknowledge it has helped me a great deal. Being able to identify the source of stress is an incredible thing.

 Being in South Africa, surrounded by people who are not of my own race, has taught me to love and see all people for who they are. I am so in love with the children in my kindergarten class – I see them as young souls, as young lives. I have learned to acknowledge the beauty of their skin, while learning that it is not a barrier between us. From talking with my co-educators, I have learned a lot about fear of black people. I talked a bit with Mike about being afraid and cautious when you walk down the streets in the city here in Cape Town. To me, yes at times I am afraid, but I always feel that I would like to smile at everyone – to treat them as though they are not something to be feared. We then got into the discussion that some of these people are in fact criminals and may inflict harm on us. While I see that, I have learned that this is a sick cycle. If we continue to treat black people as criminals (even if some are) then we contribute to their actions – that may be negative. I think I would rather put myself in danger by waving or smiling at someone that “looks” suspicious if it would in any slight way give them the idea that they are a lovely human being – no matter what their actions or skin color. I have put the responsibility more so on myself, to change my own mind and behaviors, rather than looking to help unfortunate communities. I guess that sounds bad, but I really believe that if the root of the problem lies in white people – then that is where the fixing should begin. So I put it on myself to monitor my own thoughts and actions.  In terms of gender – I have learned a great deal in the classroom. From Disney movies to articles, I have much more respect and understanding for feminism than I did prior to this semester. I don’t think I understood it at first – but I realize there is a need to bring awareness to our society of the oppression of women. In places women think they are empowered, they are in fact not. I know many people I know are still blind to this and honestly would probably like to remain blind. That is a frustrating thing I have to deal with as I bring light to the oppression I’m receiving.

I touched on it earlier, but I have learned A LOT about myself through this program. The most important thing I have come to learn is to understand myself. I have spent so much time in my young life comparing what is going on inside of me to what “should” be going on. Our culture paints a picture of our lives for us and if what is truly going on doesn’t match up (which is almost always the case) then we suffer. I have suffered a great deal because of this fact. On the surface level, I recognize media’s impact on me. I used to suffer from an eating disorder, and I see now how a picture was painted of thin=happy. It is not the case. I am angered now that I know media’s ultimate purpose is to a.) get money from us and b.) distract us from things that truly matter and are going on in our country. I now feel less inclined to be a certain weight, to look pretty, to be SOMETHING for SOMEONE ELSE. I have learned to be truer to my own heart, and while I have a long way to go- its good to know I’ve gotten started. I have learned to think critically. That while it feels good to believe in something, it is important to keep questioning and keep an open mind for new opinions and perspectives to come through. I have learned to trust people, as I have developed close relationships with many people in this house. I have learned that I don’t like to be over committed, and while some may call that lazy, I happen to see it as kinder and practical (for myself). I have learned that the feeling inside me that something has been off can be justified by the fact that world that we live in is not natural and is growing to be bad for all. I have had the opportunity to be introduced to books like Ishmael and figures such as Noam Chomsky. I know that I have a lot of discovering to do but this trip has been such a great opportunity to see myself clearly. This trip provided me the space to be totally honest with my thoughts and opinions, and I am inspired to do more things like this in the future.

Nellie: from South Africa to Tanzania

Nellie in Tanzania

I feel like this is the reunion episode on some MTV reality show—‘The Real World: Cape Town, Where Are They Now?’ Well, at present I find myself sitting in the purgatory area of the Dar Es Salaam airport in Tanzania. I’ve got a seven hour lay-over before my connecting flights home (Quintessential cheap-college-travel-occurrence) and can’t check into my flight and the padded departure seating for another few hours. This blog is being written on a time limit (the remaining battery life of my computer) so my apologies if it lacks my normal flourish or graphs.

            

I spent the last five weeks in Tanzania with Theresa, we stayed with family friends of her’s in Arusha and I felt so fortunate to get a taste of East Africa. We spent our free time there reading profusely, reveling in having quiet rooms to dose off in and some reflection time after leaving Loch Road, we also well aquatinted ourselves with the gem of a television series that is The West Wing (frankly it dominated our night-life). We traveled down to Zanzibar for a week—the island is fascinating—we wore the customary headscarves as we walked around the unique city of Stone Town and soaked up the sun on a much needed beach holiday. The transit back consisted of a 14 hour bus ride from Dar Es Salaam back to Arusha, which was an experience. It certainly enabled us to get to see a lot of Tanzania’s scenic diversity, and the lack of A/C coupled with the speakers blasting the Swahili B-grade movies provided us with a ride we will never soon forget.

Nellie & Theresa

During the days we spent time volunteering at the school where our host works at, helping out with her 5^th grade class. This was particularly interesting for me as I spent my internship in Cape Town teaching grade 5 English and Social Studies. The student demographic couldn’t be more different, at Christel House the students are all from the poorest of the poor in the townships, in Arusha I worked at a private school filled with children of diplomats, lawyers, and business tycoons. It broke my heart to see the level that my new students were working at compared to my Capetonian class. I preformed a reading comprehension assessment here similar to one I did in Cape Town with drastically different results. The students at this private school didn’t even flinch, most breezed through it, while my class in Cape Town really struggled with this simple task. Obviously, my students from the townships have such larger obstacles to overcome compared to the privileged students, but I just couldn’t help thinking how wrong it felt that by some roll of the dice in the universe these sweet, smart, and curious students would have such a different experience, even considering that my students at Christel House were loads better off than their peers in the public schools. I still can’t quite wrap my head around it.

Another bit of Tanzania that I feel compelled to write about was what it felt like to be amongst the elite. There are approximately 2000 Tanzanian Shillings to the dollar and things are really, really, cheap here. For around $12 Theresa and I were able to buy: 1 ripe pineapple, 4 avocados, 1 kilo tomatoes, 1 kilo onions, 2 green peppers, 1 kilo of oranges, 4 mangos, and a bushel of bananas—I think that well illustrates the purchasing power our sorry checking accounts had here. The family we stayed with employed a maid and a security service that had a guard (askari in Swahili) on premises 24/7, I was never really able to wrap my head around this feeling of being waited on as normal. I did my best in my pathetic Swahili to greet the guard when we passed and we had several brief but pleasant chats in English with this one guard, Christopher. He was a friendly older gentleman who took ownership of maintaining the vegetable garden out back and was eager to practice his very impressive English skills. He was incredibly kind and hard working and one day came inside to help translate with the Electrician. He took off his shoes when he came inside and I saw the disrepair that his socks were in, they looked ancient, with prominent stains and large holes from heavy use. It’s a weird thing for me to fixate on, but it really put me in a funk. Socks are disposable for me, when they’ve served their purpose and start to tatter I just pitch them and buy a new pack at Costco. That is obviously not Christopher’s reality and again the most obvious reason behind that difference is just the chance that went into the situation we were born into. He’s a really intelligent man and though he received no formal schooling you can just tell he would excel academically, he could surely be a high achiever and live a life of leisure off his wit and gumption, but for him, that just wasn’t in the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand this facet of the world.

            

Theresa and I were fortunate to find out about an organization called HESHIMA which works to provide job training in sewing skills for marginalized Masaai women. They have a textile training center where the women are taught to use Singer foot pedal machines and work their way through different product patterns, they sell their products and help support their families off of their profits. HESHIMA also runs a small library and class for the local children near their facility each Wednesday. Theresa and I worked there on Wednesday afternoons and it was simultaneously a joyous and depressing. A lot of Masaai children will never go to school and spend their time shepherding the family’s cattle and goats or taking care of younger siblings, many only speak Maa, the Masaai dialect, and can’t speak Swahili or English, further isolating them from the world. HESHIMA’s once a week session is the only schooling some of these children receive. They were terribly shy around us at first (our first day they bashfully ran away from us for hours) but as soon as we gained their trust they were pulling at us for hugs and hand holding and just some smiles and TLC. We sang nursery rhymes, practiced counting in English, and played games like Duck-duck-goose. The session cumulated with the children receiving a slice of bread with some jam and a glass of juice each as well as the ability to check out a book from their portable library (a lard cardboard box of picture books with a check-out log). The children cherished both the food and the book, either savoring the piece of bread as long as they could, taking little sips of juice, or just wolfing it down immediately, they worshiped the books they got, stroking the covers and gently leafing through the pages—mind you these are children ranging from 6 months to about 12, so for toddlers to have such reverence for things like this shows how precious they are to them.

Sitting in the circle and looking around at the children the first thing you see are their beaming smiles and curious eyes, beautiful just like most other children you come across, but soon your vision pans out and then you notice the large rips in their colorful clothes, the snot caked on to their sweet faces, the crust cemented around their bright eyes, and the flies that are a constant and ignored presence around them—walking freely on their faces without so much as a blink from the child. Some of the children clearly display the swollen bellies common with Ascites and similar conditions common with malnutrition and some of the younger ones cough deeply and cry often. It’s a sight out of a Sarah McGloughin PSA, only it’s not some pathos edited clip, it’s real and sitting and smiling right in front of you asking you to read it Goodnight Moon. If there is any experience that will make you feel truly grateful for all of the banal things that you never even think to be thankful for, this is one of them. The work HESHIMA is doing in their community is truly inspiring and here is their website if your interested in learning more: www.heshima.org.uk

  

My time in Tanzania was without a doubt a worthwhile addition to my time in South Africa. It enabled me to experience another rich and fascinating culture and added an additional level of food for thought. I really began to miss my students at Christel House, and became really ready to get home to my family, and friends, and local beach. My time spent watching the West Wing and my encounters with crooked immigration and traffic cops even got me excited to be back in America, which believe me is no easy task. I’m sure as my summer at home starts and when I get back into my normal routine at UConn I’ll have more time to reflect upon what parts of my time in South Africa and Tanzania reflects in my thinking and actions, but until then, ciao.