Dan: what did you just say?

…What did you just say?

“Wipe your mouth with that diaper!” “The power is out, go get the torch!” “It’s on the right just after the robot.” “I need to put plaster on my arm before I can go anywhere.”

Do you have any idea what all of that means, or maybe the idea you have doesn’t make any sense? Welcome to a day in the life. South Africa has eleven official languages, but I’ve been lucky enough that everyone I’ve encountered speaks English. The thing is, a lot of words and phrases that we use in the States are completely different than how they say it here in South Africa. The first few lines are perfect examples. At face value, you’re probably thinking of someone wiping their face with a baby’s diaper, instead of a napkin which is what it really says; someone carrying a medieval flaming torch instead of a flash light; a big shiny robot in the street rather than a traffic light; or someone putting the stuff you fix walls with onto their arm rather than a bandaid.

It’s entertaining discovering all the different ways of saying things. A month or so ago I had the most ridiculous conversation in a store trying to explain to the clerk what a clothes pin was (called a peg here). I don’t think I’ll ever get used to telling a sixth grader to let his friend borrow his rubber (eraser); and if your mind wasn’t already in the gutter, imagine what a “humped zebra” is (a raised crosswalk). My favorite fruit is cantaloupe, but it doesn’t exist here. Instead, it’s sweet melon, or if you want to be even more literal, sweet orange melon. There is a difference between a taxi and a cab, and confusing the two in conversation will thoroughly confuse a local. Food doesn’t go bad, it goes off. If you need someone’s attention you can say “excuse me” all you want, but they won’t acknowledge you until you say “sorry.” Though “sneakers” is used, the term “tekkies” is more common. Things don’t get crazy, they get hectic.

Aside from simple word differences, there are sayings that are completely different and often times just as confusing. Instead of saying “really” they say “is it,” instead of saying “what’s up” they say “howzit,” instead of saying “that’s too bad” they say “shame.” To say you’re coming “just now” means you’ll be coming soon, but to say you’re leaving “now now” means you’re leaving that instant. I’m not sure if the word “rent” exists here, instead all the signs say “to let,” whatever that means…

Out of all of the different sayings and words here, my favorites are the words for thank you, “cheers,” and you’re welcome, “pleasure.” They’re just happier words; at least for me it’s hard to say “cheers” without smiling. I'll definitely be bringing some of these latter phrases back to the States with me. I'm sure I will receive the same funny looks I gave to people as I tried to figure out what in the world they were talking about.