Kristin reflecting upon lessons learned

The past three and a half months have been a huge learning experience.  I have learned more about myself and the world around me than I ever could have imagined. 

             

Although I have learned a lot about myself, what is somewhat confusing, is that the more I learn, the more I feel like I know less and less about myself.  One of my biggest fears is losing touch with myself, so, feeling like I don’t really know myself does scare me in some ways. One night during class when I brought this up, Marita asked if that is really bad thing, to lose oneself.  I guess it really isn’t.  I was thinking more on it and maybe I feel all confused and as if I’m losing myself because I could be going through a transition in life and so I am in a sense losing myself, my old self.  I shouldn’t be afraid, but I think living in a society that pressures people to always know who they are and what they are doing and to never change because then you’re just crazy, does make me a bit scared.  I fear not knowing what I am going to do for a career in the future. 

           

I see that education is really important in the process of freeing people’s minds and because of this I am contemplating a future in the field of education.  Sometimes I ponder becoming a teacher or going into the administrative end for educational policy or some position where I could try to manage public school curriculum.  I don’t think there are enough social studies courses.  There is so much emphasis on the main courses like English and math, especially preparing for SATs.  I think there should be more emphasis and requirements for social sciences and life skills courses in public schools.  These could serve to introduce and support conversations surrounding topics such as race, gender, sexuality, religion, culture, and basically how people live differently.  Hopefully resulting in a better recognition and understanding of the differences amongst us but also the similarities we share. 

On the topic of differences, though, people are far too often ridiculed and pressured into society’s mold of what people “should be”.  Classes that discuss these social constructs that we face every day of our lives would hopefully facilitate a better understanding of their own selves and the people around them.  High school is an environment that harbors group “cliques” and the presence of peer pressures that many students fall into.  No young adolescent wants to be left out and most want to fit in with the “popular” crowd, therefore, they are usually not confident or comfortable with themselves enough to follow their own path or say no to something most others are doing.  If there were classes similar to Marita’s, where you can create an environment that allows different people to come together to learn and talk about social and even personal issues that might get students to open up.  This may allow them to become more comfortable and confident in themselves and develop a better understanding of those around them.  Although we have different personalities and beliefs, we at least share the same emotions; we all know what it feels like to, be happy, angry, sad, jealous, etc.  We are all human and although so simple, it is a crucial fact to keep in mind about one another.  There are too many instances in life when people are dehumanized and categorized as less than another, even in high school cliques.

           

One thing that I have recognized while living in Cape Town are the walls that act to keep people out and separate.  There are also invisible walls that act as separations in life that divide people into different races, cultures, religions, and other social constructions. Everyone is always looking at differences that divide us and box us into categories separate from one another.  I understand we are different and we should acknowledge and embrace these differences.  But I have also come to believe that we should seek to recognize what makes us similar to one another even more than what makes us different.  I find it would be much more progressive and satisfying to relate and develop a love and respect for another person through the connections first, and then embrace the differences.  Thinking realistically about the way people treat each other, people will be more willing to get along with those they can relate to on some level, maybe because they see themselves in another person who they can connect with and would therefore be more likely to treat them the way they would like to be treated.

           

Learning about ourselves and the people around us is the only way we can reach a peaceful coexistence, by then reaching a mutual understanding and appreciation of one another. 

Marie reflects on how much she's learned

Maria with learners at Thandokhulu Secondary School

I am still not sure what career path I'd like to take in my future, so it may be difficult to explain how I expect the experiences and knowledge I gained this semester to influence my future career and life choices.  As far as my occupation goes, I do have many ideas how this class would affect my work if I decided to work towards becoming a teacher.  I would be careful to treat all of my students with respect, constantly being honest with my own thoughts and feelings to make sure I am being sensitive to students, co-workers, and the school environment at all times.  I would also improve required school curriculum to decrease American ethnocentricity and ignorance by not only adding content, but also the way in which it is presented to students.  American students should learn more about our country's past (not just the bright and shiny parts; and learn about all sides of an issue, not just the side that makes us look good and infallible) and more about other countries' histories and cultures.  As far as life choices goes, those will be unconsciously affected with everything I do, say, and think because of my new outlook on the world.  Seeing people for who they are and seeing certain issues and institutions for what they are will lead to things that I cannot even predict just yet.  I am still working on letting all of this new knowledge settle; I haven't the faintest clue what to do with all of it yet.  All I know is that this new information and the way I look at things now and question them are restless and bubbling, and will not lay dormant for long.

One of the most important things that I have examined more extensively is that institutions like race and gender are merely socially constructed, and that the media is a constant bombardment of reinforcements of these social constructions.  Our perceptions of stereotypes and individuals come from a complex and sturdy sociological foundation that has always been building and building from everything that makes up society, from individuals to government policies to mass media to Disney movies.  Another perspective-altering ongoing discussion is the idea of privilege and how certain privileges cannot be earned, only assigned at birth by luck.  This is important because then this cultivates a heightened sense of understanding and and acceptance between people; they can then acknowledge and respect the fact that someone can only play their hands of cards so well if they were dealt a bad hand in the first place.  If someone is dealt a fantastic hand, it's not because they earned it, it's because they're lucky, and they are lucky because there is only so badly you can do once you have been dealt a really good hand of cards.

Something important that I learned about myself is that I am racist, everybody is racist whether they want to be or not, and that it is not only okay to admit it, but important to admit it.  I didn't eve know that I wanted to stop being racist until I knew that I was in the first place.  Once I recognized what was going on my own head without my previous acknowledgement, I could begin to work toward being a more aware and accepting person, as well as apply this critically-thinking mindset to everything I think, experience, and witness.  It is scary, sad, and eye-opening to notice racism, sexism, heterosexism, and other discrimination so present and deeply ingrained in so many parts of society.  I've also learned that without even fully knowing it, I have a lot of false (or at least limited) knowledge of my own country, its history, and its role in our world today.  There is a lot of skewing and censoring that goes on in American education, media, and society that creates a very one-sided and biased (and sometimes just completely wrong) image about America and cultivates certain sentiments and values based on such information.  I learned how affected I am by advertising and media, how to identify how I am being affected, and have therefore been given more control over how I want to be affected by external information.  I have more of a choice about what I want to do with all of that information and who I want to be.

Brittany: on being back

Brittany (in red) with co-educators at University of Cape Town

I’ve been back for almost three weeks but the reality that I can’t go back has not really set in. I guess I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time be homesick for Cape Town. Don’t get me wrong I miss Cape Town, especially my friends but I haven’t been depressed as I thought I would be. However, since leaving Cape town, I have gone through so many emotions and have had time to reflect on my experiences.

When the plane touched down in New York on May 1, the weather matched all of our moods, depressing. I said goodbye to the friends who had grown to be my family in the past 3 ½ months and began on my way to Connecticut. It wasn’t until my MP3 player started playing “I’ll be seeing you” that I broke down and started crying. The song reminded me of all the people that I had left behind and of the beauty of Cape Town. At that moment New England looked affluent and depressing. I just longed to see one minibus taxi. I thought that I would miss Cape Town like this forever.

However, my mood didn’t stay depressed for too long. I was so excited to see all my family and friends. Also, due to my three month stay in Cape Town, I began to look for a job as well. In addition, I have been focusing heavily on my LSAT  and on an upcoming wedding. I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to sulk about Cape Town. I do miss the little things of Cape Town like the catch phrases that everybody in Cape Town uses. I miss the ability to use public transportation to go anywhere I want. One thing I don’t miss though is the cold. Perhaps when things slow down I will have less distracting me from missing Cape Town.

As far as returning to Cape Town, I definitely want to return soon. But how soon depends on a lot of factors, especially my ability to finish schools. But I’m already looking for ways to come back with graduate school programs. I will always have a place in my heart for Cape Town and I am looking forward to having a lifetime relationship with the city.

Kristin in a strange twilight zone state of mind

Kristin during her time at Maitland Cottage in Cape Town

It’s been two weeks since arriving home from Cape Town.  I have written a LOT in my journal.  For much of the past two weeks, I feel like I have been in a strange twilight zone state of mind.  It has been a much weirder feeling being home than I had expected. It’s obvious but still strange to think that while in Cape Town, life back here continued and did exist at the same time that I was away.  It’s strange that many things have not change and at the same time, have changed so much.  It’s difficult to describe, and sometimes overwhelming to think about.  Adjusting has gotten easier as the days go by.  I have also been working just about every day once I got back from visiting UConn.

I loved seeing my family and friends upon my return back home, but I can’t get this weird, uncomfortable feeling out of my head.  It is like this cloud that has encompassed me, but it is slowly dissipating.  I’m not worried about it.  I was bothered at first by it, and found myself one night yearning to be back in Cape Town, to return to a place of comfort that I grew to know and love.  But I realized I’d just be running away from something I actually want to face.  I realized that there is discomfort in me because I am changing, and I am not yet used to this change.  So now, I welcome the discomfort with open arms, knowing it is a good thing. 

           

Nothing is perfect, I love America and I love South Africa.  I love them for many reasons, but especially for teaching me things about life that I never could have known I would learn in a lifetime, about myself and the world around me.  I am so grateful to everyone who has made this experience what it was and will continue to be as it has become a part of me.

Kelsey's appreciation from afar

Sitting here, two weeks after returning, I could list everything I already miss about South Africa. I could start crying writing this but I think that would be unfair to Cape Town and everyone that has impacted me because of it. So, for now, I’m just going to remember the moments that have changed me forever – they’ll be plenty of time for the tears and reality later. Until then, I’m going to tell myself that I’ll be back and always hold onto the love that I have for Cape Town.

           

I’m trying to think of a good way to sum up my first couple weeks back in America but all I can think of is: “How was South Africa?!” Let me explain. I cannot recount how many times I’ve been asked how my “trip” was. Sure, let me just summarize four of the most impacting lives of my life in a one-sentence response to your broad question. No. That is an impossible task. But, I’ve come to determine those that actually care and those that are just being polite. To the former I ask what they want to know and the latter I say my rehearsed “it was amazing, I loved it!” I should probably mention that I literally cannot stop talking about South Africa. I have developed this cool (often called annoying) ability to turn any topic of conversation to something relatable to Cape Town. Most people don’t hesitate to remind me I’m in America, not South Africa – a fact I don’t like to be reminded of sometimes. Although there are certain things here that I definitely have a new appreciation for: crossing any street without being thrown into a game of Frogger is quite nice, being able to leave my bag in the next chair over while out to eat without a second thought of someone stealing it, not waiting an hour to get served an entrée, Oreos that taste how Oreos should taste, etc. On the other side, wine costing me an arm, overwhelming amounts of white people, hormone and preservative packed food, no one saying hi or smiling at me just because, etc. all encourage me to get back on that plane to Cape Town. Who would’ve thought that I look forward to the days when “Wyyynberg” and “Cape Teeeown” are screamed in my ear with incessant honking providing constant background noise. Something that I found so obnoxious at one point I know miss tremendously.

           

Anyways, the other day, I got some pictures printed and developed at CVS. They were from my underwater disposable camera that I took into the cage with me while shark cage diving. I was so curious to see what images that camera held since I’m pretty sure I just clicked the camera button at random times. My fingers were so cold I couldn’t even tell when I was actually pressing down on the button and I was a little more focused on the massive sharks around me than the camera. This fact is easily shown in the twelve images filled with murky waters and murky waters only. However, every other photo made me laugh. A fin or a random shark part was captured in some, faces with huge goggles and ridiculous wet suit hoods take on the role of penguin look-a-likes, and the most random other things perfectly captured my experience of shark cage diving: hilarious, and amazing.

           

I realize that this entry probably has no rhythm and is completely random but that is how the transition back to being an American has been for me. I’m not sad or depressed; rather, remarkably happy to have been given the opportunity of a life time. I get the privilege of looking back on a four month period with absolutely no regrets and an appreciation only fitting of the most incredible experience. Although I am bred American, a part of me will always be Capetonian.

           

It is through Cape Town that I’ve experienced poverty and wealth, tears and laughter, utter happiness and overwhelming sadness. I’ve made some best friends, grown to love some of the most remarkable people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, learned more about the world and myself, and grown to become someone I’m finally proud of. Not many people are lucky enough to be able to say that.

Sam's reflections on being home

Being home again is weird. Mostly because it feels like nothing has really changed over the past 4 months. Everything looks the same, everyone has the same routines as they did when I left. Seeing my family and friends has been nice but I miss Cape Town more than anything. It is such an exciting place to be. Being able to look up every day and see Table Mountain was amazing. I miss living is a big house with sixteen other people because there was always someone around to hang out with or go into the city with or do any of the millions of things there are to do in Cape Town. I miss having that sense of community that you can feel everywhere in Cape Town. There are always people around to talk to and learn from. I even miss the taxis, driving by and yelling at everyone. I miss Christel House so much. My class was amazing and I love every single one of those kids and wish I could be back there with them. I think I really just miss always having something to do. My town is nice, but pretty boring.

I did go down to UConn for a few days after coming home which was fun. I loved seeing everyone. However this of course led to the question I know everyone has been asked about a million times so far, “how was it?” I usually just do the “It was amazing. I can’t even describe it,” and most of the time that will suffice. Or if they want more detail I have been asking them what they want to hear about. I have no idea how to even start to describe the trip or even just the city. Talking to some of the people I know who went last year has been very helpful because they understand. Even though we all had completely different experiences, they understand when I just don’t have words to describe what I am feeling or trying to say about Cape Town.

I know my time in Cape Town has changed me and made me look at the world with a whole new perspective. I feel like I can see some of the bigger issues going on and I have tried o stay more up to date with current events. I hope that someday I can return to Cape Town again because it has definitely had a huge impact on my life. 

Alex on being home

It was so surreal leaving Cape Town last Monday. As we finished up our packing, we had a surprise visit from Amanda and our little sisters. It was so great to see all of them again, and both Amanda and Siphokazi sung us a beautiful farewell song. It was really hard saying goodbye, but I know I’ll be back to Cape Town as soon as possible, and that was the only thing that helped me keep my emotions somewhat under control.

Though I have officially arrived back to the States it has yet to hit me that I’m actually back. And might I just say it wasn’t the best “welcome home” either, thanks to the airline losing one of my bags (it did eventually make it to me though). However, it has been really nice to be back and see loved ones again, and meet some for the first time (my sister had a baby in March)! I was really worried about returning to the States. It isn’t my first time transitioning from long periods abroad back to the U.S, but this time I was more worried about how it was going to go. In the past I’ve really struggled with it, but so far I’ve dealt with it well I think. I know that I’ve changed in more ways than I can explain to anyone, and I think that’s obvious. I’ve just made sure to keep in mind everything I learned while in Cape Town, and just listen to others. When they ask me about my experiences then I’ll open up, but I’ve learned to take it easy and just listen for a while.

It’s really interesting being back though, because I’m seeing things so much differently than I did before I left. I was aware of issues in my city and surroundings, however I’ve come back to look at them with a new and more mature eye I feel like. I think it’s important for me to see certain things and work towards fixing them as best I can. Since I’ve been back the little things that used to get under my skin or cause me to worry really don’t seem like anything anymore. I know there are much bigger problems (not that I didn’t before, but I’m just more in tune with them after seeing some firsthand) and that’s where my focus is. Being wasteful or greedy isn’t an option anymore. It’s about using what you have and giving what you can. I’m really glad that each life lesson learned over the past few months has made such a large impact on me, because I think I’ve been able to convey that to others. Hopefully those lessons will be able to reach others in my community as well.

So for the fear of returning home, I decided not to let it get the best of me. Each journey is what you make of it. If I wanted to stress about the transition, and feel like I couldn’t find a place for myself in my hometown then that’s fine, but it’s not a great start to coming back to the States. Cape Town taught me so much, but one of the biggest things I learned is to be open and willing to try anything, and make the most of each day. Those are things I definitely wasn’t the best at before, but now I’m decent at, and continuing to try it out with each day back here. Being able to be home for a visit is really nice, but to the Cape Town that I left… I can’t wait

Kimmi reflecting on her time in Cape Town

It’s been about a week since I have been back home and I can’t describe the mix of emotions and feelings I am going through right now. I came home to a bright sign and flowers from my family! It was great to see them, catch up, and show them my bungee jumping video and other crazy adventures I did while in Cape Town. Over the past few days I’ve been asked how was Africa? This question is very hard to respond to. How can I possibly describe the best 3 and half months of my life in just a few sentences? What do I tell them? Should I go on and on about how wonderful each and every one of my Grade R kids are? Tell them about the more adventurous side? I have done so much in these past few months it’s hard to sum it up. I have found that it is easiest to start with AMAZING! From there I usually start to talk about what a typical week would be describing my internship, classes and activist project. From there I usually throw in that I went bungee jumping, hiking, paragliding and more adventurous things. Some would ask more questions and others would just let it be at that.

           

I know that from this experience I have changed and grown as a person. I know this but I just don’t know how. I can’t exactly pinpoint what has changed about me but I know something has. I know that thanks to my professors and co-educators that they have helped me through this process. I didn’t realize how much I really needed them and how much I would miss them until I came home. It’s been a week and I find myself missing everyone and everything about Cape Town. Right now it feels like I’m dreaming like this is unreal. Sure it’s great seeing all of my old friends and family but I didn’t think it would be this hard. My co-educators each played a role when I was in Cape Town and they are all my family. It’s really hard being away from them and I find that I’m missing them like crazy. And Ben and Greta were two of the best RAs and definitely helped me get through this trip as well. They were always there to give me advice and when in a dilemma they came to my rescue.

I’ve been missing little things about Cape Town that you don’t get in Wilton. I miss the hustle and bustle of the city itself. The honking and yelling of the minibus taxi drivers. Driving through Wilton today I realized how quiet it was. You don’t see people walking around much, everyone just in their cars. The city parts of Cape Town are what I thought I would never miss but I actually do. There is always something to do and new things to see. Here in Wilton I feel like I have already seen everything there is to see. Cape Town was rich with life and so much history. Walking down the road or conversing with people in the shops was a learning experience. Everyone in Cape Town is so open to talking to you and really getting to know each other. They are a lot more opened to talking to strangers.

           

One of the biggest differences that I’ve seen in South Africa and particularly townships like Ocean View and Nyanga is a sense of community. I feel like most places around the US have lost that sense of community. Just walking through these townships everyone knew each other and even if they didn’t they would still say hi. All the houses were close together and right next to each other. You really got to know your neighbors. Here I feel like that is pretty uncommon to know and be very good friends with your neighbors. Especially these days you see people building bigger and bigger houses. How are you supposed to find each other in a house that big? In Cape Town I feel like people live more simply. It was nice walking around with these guys from Nyanga and feeling safe and not even worrying about crimes. In Wilton there is a sense of community don’t get me wrong. I have grown up in this little town and here I can’t go into Stop and Shop without seeing someone I know. People are friendly and there are good people in Wilton. I just feel like at times in the suburbs and all over the US people tend to be more involved in their own lives and material things. It’s hard because the pace is so much faster here than Cape Town. Everyone is on a set schedule going from here to there. The life here is just go go go. I find it most challenging getting back into that mindset of having to go nonstop. I find it most challenging of having the pressure to having to do something all the time and feeling guilty for relaxing. I feel pressure to have to go straight back to work and feel the need to always work. It’s hard to find time for yourself and do things for yourself when you always have to worry about pleasing everyone else and working all the time.

           

In Cape Town, one of the things I’m going to miss the most is being genuinely happy about life and what I was doing over there. While in South Africa I found my passion again, I found my fire. In Cape Town I was doing what I loved which was getting to know and spending time with kids. Kids make me happy and make me want to wake up early in the morning and take a bus ride to see them everyday. My Grade R class did not fail once to put a smile on my face. When I was feeling sick or tired or whatever as soon as I walked into that Grade R classroom and all of my kids greeted me with genuine smiles how could I be miserable anymore? These kids from the very beginning gave me unconditional love and care I needed to get by. They made me realize how much I want to go into teaching. They gave me the joy and love I needed to get through rough days. I knew that they could always pick me up. My experience would have never been the same without them. I learned so much through them by just observing and talking to them. It was everything I imagined and so much more. Sure I saw that these kids who live in poverty and have nothing still so happy. What I didn’t expect from them was how happy they would make me and how much love and care they would give to me.

Kimmi with teachers at Christel House School

This applies to everyone in Cape Town though. My teachers, Loren and Alfreeda were so opened and welcoming to me since the moment I met them. They shared personal stories with me and we both opened up to each other. They were a true pleasure to get to know. I learned so much about teaching but also about South African culture from both of them. They are both very wise and intelligent and I feel honored to have worked with them. My host family in Ocean View was also so kind to Kelsey and me. They truly gave us everything and were so welcoming. After the weekend I felt like I was part of a family again. It made me feel right at home and was a nice change from living with sixteen students. Of course Chantel and the kids from Ocean View were incredible as well. Chantel is such an inspiration for her to work so hard and give back to her community is truly amazing on her own. You can see how much the kids really did appreciate us tutoring and even just talking and getting to know them. It was fun to build relationships with kids who were a little bit older and who I could relate and have conversations with. Lets not forget Amanda and Bongi who did a similar thing to Chantel with the Firefighter boys tutoring club and the girls’ book club. Amanda working with us to create a big/little program. It was a great experience to be able to have a “little sister” and to communicate with her and get to know her on a personal level. I enjoyed it when we hit the mark where she came up to me and wanted to talk to me about personal things. I can’t describe how much that means to me for her to want to tell me and trust me about certain things she was going through. I think about Tania often and miss her but I know that she will succeed and do well in life. She is a hard worker and knows what she wants.

Kimmi & Kelsey with their family in Ocean View

I will always remember and always love each and every one of my kids and just everyone that I met in Cape Town. I know for a fact that I will never forget my experience and my new life that I had over there. While there I was able to truly be myself. I did not hold back with anyone. Everyone that I went on the trip with and was living with by the end of it they brought out the best in me, the me that I feel like I’ve never shown anyone before. They made me feel comfortable enough to act crazy, scream and dance. I could do whatever and they would be fine with it. We laughed, fought and cried but in the end we all became close like a family and loved each other. It was sad saying goodbye to everyone in Cape Town but also to the life I had over there. I also learned to listen to myself and to take time for myself. I was able to know when I needed to relax and hang back. There I had no stress and did not have to worry about money and all of those little things I have to worry about here. I am missing just living my life to the fullest and doing what I want. I miss feeling a different type of freedom and independence that I can’t get here. It is amazing what just 3 and a half short months can do to you. I have learned and seen so much about others and myself there. I have learned a little bit more of who I am. I have definitely filled in a little piece to this big puzzle we call life. I look forward to continuing to fill in those pieces. I know for sure that some day I will have to come back to Cape Town because that’s what it does to you. It is like a drug it keeps you coming back for more.

Rebecca feeling protective towards her trip

So it’s been exactly a week since I left Cape Town, and I’m definitely still working on adjusting back to home. It’s weird to be back.  I won’t lie and say I’m not enjoying being back with my friends and family, but I miss Cape Town.

           

So far I’ve spent some time back at UCONN and at home with my family.  I like falling back into some of my familiar patterns.  I really miss my housemates, and co-educators though.  I may have minded the noise sometimes, but I miss all of them.  It’s an adjustment going from having people to talk to all the time, and getting to talk about the really important things, to only have three people (and my cat) in the house.  It’s oddly quiet sometimes. 

           

Sometimes when people have been asking about my trip I try to avoid answering with anything other than, “It was amazing. I had a great time and it changed my life.”  Revealing anything else almost scares me.  I’m scared that someone will judge what I’m saying and think I’m just being an idealist who doesn’t know anything.  It’s hard I want to keep my experiences locked inside me where no one can look at them funny and make sarcastic comments.  I don’t want anyone to tarnish my experience.  I know that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t share what I’ve learned with people, but it may take a while for me to feel less protective towards this trip. 

           

On a lighter note I crossed the street a couple days ago and a car actually stopped for me! For those who have never been to Cape Town, cars don’t EVER stop for pedestrians!

           

One of the questions people have asked me is, “Do you ever want to go back?” Unhesitating I answered, ”Yes.”  I knew I loved Cape Town while I was there, but after returning to the States I realized just how much.  It is such a unique, welcoming place, that I could not imagine never going back.