Erica sees Cape Town in her future!

It has been about a month now and I cannot stop thinking about Cape Town. In everything that I do here in the states I always reflect back to Cape Town and what I would be doing. Being back home is a great feeling and I realized how much I miss my family.  My first week back home was really hectic because I was preparing for graduation and meeting with friends and family members. I spent the weekend at Storrs with my friend Sharielle (who participated in this program last year), Sophia (my roommate from last semester), and Brittany.  

Being back home is a little overwhelming because everyone wants to know about my trip, but I find it hard to explain my experiences. Some of my experiences are complex and not everyone would understand. I just want my friends and family members to go to South Africa and create their own experience.

While being here I have kept in contact with some students, teachers, and friends that I have made in Cape Town.  Many people are asking me “So Erica would you go back to Cape Town”? Without any hesitation my answer is YES!

Recently, an individual asked me “What is my great accomplishment?” and I was proud to say that I just graduated from the University of Connecticut. It has been four challenging, but great years that have impacted me in many ways. Spending my last semester in Cape Town is one of the best decisions I have made. I am excited to see what my future entails, and trust me Cape Town is definitely in my future.

Erica with her parents following her graduation.

Becky realizing home is wherever she is

In the past few weeks I have been a bit dazed and confused. I’ve gone from Cape Town, to Connecticut, to Vegas, and back to Connecticut again, so I haven’t had much of a chance to catch my breath and place my feet on the ground. It still seems surreal to me that I am finally home at my apartment for good. When I had originally gotten home I wasn’t sure how I would handle the change of lifestyle. Especially knowing that I wouldn’t have a car coming back home I didn’t know how I would react to my lack of freedom. I felt like I wasn’t in the right place, like I needed to go back to Cape Town because that was my new home. I really needed to take a step back after that because I knew that I am a very blessed person. If I didn’t continue to enjoy my life here in Connecticut then I would have missed a crucial lesson I had learned in Cape Town.

To be completely honest it’s been tough coming home to Connecticut. I hated being home at first, it was great to see my loved ones but I felt so depressed. I couldn’t get back into my old life before I left Cape Town and I felt so alone. For the past three and a half months I had people around me every day, even when I didn’t want them around they were still there. Being back in my apartment, and getting back into the routine here I felt trapped. I closed myself off from talking about how I was feeling because I didn’t think anyone here would understand. Being apart from all my friends that I made in Cape Town was one of my most important and difficult tests. I had to stand alone and still hold onto everything I had learned while I was away. As the days have passed I have realized that, yes, I will survive leaving Cape Town. There will always be a place in my heart for my time there, but to dwell on the negative of coming home is just ridiculous. I am now realizing that I get to start an exciting new chapter in my life that I would never have experienced if I hadn’t gone to Cape Town. New opportunities have opened up for me and I am blessed to have such a great support system not only from my loved ones at home, but also from my Cape Town family.

As of right now, I think what I can rely on is staying strong in myself. I now realize that wherever I am is home because I make it my home. It may take a while for this to completely sink in but I am content with the way I am living as of right now. I know it isn’t good-bye, but just see you later.

             

Kristin reflecting upon lessons learned

The past three and a half months have been a huge learning experience.  I have learned more about myself and the world around me than I ever could have imagined. 

             

Although I have learned a lot about myself, what is somewhat confusing, is that the more I learn, the more I feel like I know less and less about myself.  One of my biggest fears is losing touch with myself, so, feeling like I don’t really know myself does scare me in some ways. One night during class when I brought this up, Marita asked if that is really bad thing, to lose oneself.  I guess it really isn’t.  I was thinking more on it and maybe I feel all confused and as if I’m losing myself because I could be going through a transition in life and so I am in a sense losing myself, my old self.  I shouldn’t be afraid, but I think living in a society that pressures people to always know who they are and what they are doing and to never change because then you’re just crazy, does make me a bit scared.  I fear not knowing what I am going to do for a career in the future. 

           

I see that education is really important in the process of freeing people’s minds and because of this I am contemplating a future in the field of education.  Sometimes I ponder becoming a teacher or going into the administrative end for educational policy or some position where I could try to manage public school curriculum.  I don’t think there are enough social studies courses.  There is so much emphasis on the main courses like English and math, especially preparing for SATs.  I think there should be more emphasis and requirements for social sciences and life skills courses in public schools.  These could serve to introduce and support conversations surrounding topics such as race, gender, sexuality, religion, culture, and basically how people live differently.  Hopefully resulting in a better recognition and understanding of the differences amongst us but also the similarities we share. 

On the topic of differences, though, people are far too often ridiculed and pressured into society’s mold of what people “should be”.  Classes that discuss these social constructs that we face every day of our lives would hopefully facilitate a better understanding of their own selves and the people around them.  High school is an environment that harbors group “cliques” and the presence of peer pressures that many students fall into.  No young adolescent wants to be left out and most want to fit in with the “popular” crowd, therefore, they are usually not confident or comfortable with themselves enough to follow their own path or say no to something most others are doing.  If there were classes similar to Marita’s, where you can create an environment that allows different people to come together to learn and talk about social and even personal issues that might get students to open up.  This may allow them to become more comfortable and confident in themselves and develop a better understanding of those around them.  Although we have different personalities and beliefs, we at least share the same emotions; we all know what it feels like to, be happy, angry, sad, jealous, etc.  We are all human and although so simple, it is a crucial fact to keep in mind about one another.  There are too many instances in life when people are dehumanized and categorized as less than another, even in high school cliques.

           

One thing that I have recognized while living in Cape Town are the walls that act to keep people out and separate.  There are also invisible walls that act as separations in life that divide people into different races, cultures, religions, and other social constructions. Everyone is always looking at differences that divide us and box us into categories separate from one another.  I understand we are different and we should acknowledge and embrace these differences.  But I have also come to believe that we should seek to recognize what makes us similar to one another even more than what makes us different.  I find it would be much more progressive and satisfying to relate and develop a love and respect for another person through the connections first, and then embrace the differences.  Thinking realistically about the way people treat each other, people will be more willing to get along with those they can relate to on some level, maybe because they see themselves in another person who they can connect with and would therefore be more likely to treat them the way they would like to be treated.

           

Learning about ourselves and the people around us is the only way we can reach a peaceful coexistence, by then reaching a mutual understanding and appreciation of one another. 

Marie reflects on how much she's learned

Maria with learners at Thandokhulu Secondary School

I am still not sure what career path I'd like to take in my future, so it may be difficult to explain how I expect the experiences and knowledge I gained this semester to influence my future career and life choices.  As far as my occupation goes, I do have many ideas how this class would affect my work if I decided to work towards becoming a teacher.  I would be careful to treat all of my students with respect, constantly being honest with my own thoughts and feelings to make sure I am being sensitive to students, co-workers, and the school environment at all times.  I would also improve required school curriculum to decrease American ethnocentricity and ignorance by not only adding content, but also the way in which it is presented to students.  American students should learn more about our country's past (not just the bright and shiny parts; and learn about all sides of an issue, not just the side that makes us look good and infallible) and more about other countries' histories and cultures.  As far as life choices goes, those will be unconsciously affected with everything I do, say, and think because of my new outlook on the world.  Seeing people for who they are and seeing certain issues and institutions for what they are will lead to things that I cannot even predict just yet.  I am still working on letting all of this new knowledge settle; I haven't the faintest clue what to do with all of it yet.  All I know is that this new information and the way I look at things now and question them are restless and bubbling, and will not lay dormant for long.

One of the most important things that I have examined more extensively is that institutions like race and gender are merely socially constructed, and that the media is a constant bombardment of reinforcements of these social constructions.  Our perceptions of stereotypes and individuals come from a complex and sturdy sociological foundation that has always been building and building from everything that makes up society, from individuals to government policies to mass media to Disney movies.  Another perspective-altering ongoing discussion is the idea of privilege and how certain privileges cannot be earned, only assigned at birth by luck.  This is important because then this cultivates a heightened sense of understanding and and acceptance between people; they can then acknowledge and respect the fact that someone can only play their hands of cards so well if they were dealt a bad hand in the first place.  If someone is dealt a fantastic hand, it's not because they earned it, it's because they're lucky, and they are lucky because there is only so badly you can do once you have been dealt a really good hand of cards.

Something important that I learned about myself is that I am racist, everybody is racist whether they want to be or not, and that it is not only okay to admit it, but important to admit it.  I didn't eve know that I wanted to stop being racist until I knew that I was in the first place.  Once I recognized what was going on my own head without my previous acknowledgement, I could begin to work toward being a more aware and accepting person, as well as apply this critically-thinking mindset to everything I think, experience, and witness.  It is scary, sad, and eye-opening to notice racism, sexism, heterosexism, and other discrimination so present and deeply ingrained in so many parts of society.  I've also learned that without even fully knowing it, I have a lot of false (or at least limited) knowledge of my own country, its history, and its role in our world today.  There is a lot of skewing and censoring that goes on in American education, media, and society that creates a very one-sided and biased (and sometimes just completely wrong) image about America and cultivates certain sentiments and values based on such information.  I learned how affected I am by advertising and media, how to identify how I am being affected, and have therefore been given more control over how I want to be affected by external information.  I have more of a choice about what I want to do with all of that information and who I want to be.

Brittany: on being back

Brittany (in red) with co-educators at University of Cape Town

I’ve been back for almost three weeks but the reality that I can’t go back has not really set in. I guess I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time be homesick for Cape Town. Don’t get me wrong I miss Cape Town, especially my friends but I haven’t been depressed as I thought I would be. However, since leaving Cape town, I have gone through so many emotions and have had time to reflect on my experiences.

When the plane touched down in New York on May 1, the weather matched all of our moods, depressing. I said goodbye to the friends who had grown to be my family in the past 3 ½ months and began on my way to Connecticut. It wasn’t until my MP3 player started playing “I’ll be seeing you” that I broke down and started crying. The song reminded me of all the people that I had left behind and of the beauty of Cape Town. At that moment New England looked affluent and depressing. I just longed to see one minibus taxi. I thought that I would miss Cape Town like this forever.

However, my mood didn’t stay depressed for too long. I was so excited to see all my family and friends. Also, due to my three month stay in Cape Town, I began to look for a job as well. In addition, I have been focusing heavily on my LSAT  and on an upcoming wedding. I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to sulk about Cape Town. I do miss the little things of Cape Town like the catch phrases that everybody in Cape Town uses. I miss the ability to use public transportation to go anywhere I want. One thing I don’t miss though is the cold. Perhaps when things slow down I will have less distracting me from missing Cape Town.

As far as returning to Cape Town, I definitely want to return soon. But how soon depends on a lot of factors, especially my ability to finish schools. But I’m already looking for ways to come back with graduate school programs. I will always have a place in my heart for Cape Town and I am looking forward to having a lifetime relationship with the city.

Kristin in a strange twilight zone state of mind

Kristin during her time at Maitland Cottage in Cape Town

It’s been two weeks since arriving home from Cape Town.  I have written a LOT in my journal.  For much of the past two weeks, I feel like I have been in a strange twilight zone state of mind.  It has been a much weirder feeling being home than I had expected. It’s obvious but still strange to think that while in Cape Town, life back here continued and did exist at the same time that I was away.  It’s strange that many things have not change and at the same time, have changed so much.  It’s difficult to describe, and sometimes overwhelming to think about.  Adjusting has gotten easier as the days go by.  I have also been working just about every day once I got back from visiting UConn.

I loved seeing my family and friends upon my return back home, but I can’t get this weird, uncomfortable feeling out of my head.  It is like this cloud that has encompassed me, but it is slowly dissipating.  I’m not worried about it.  I was bothered at first by it, and found myself one night yearning to be back in Cape Town, to return to a place of comfort that I grew to know and love.  But I realized I’d just be running away from something I actually want to face.  I realized that there is discomfort in me because I am changing, and I am not yet used to this change.  So now, I welcome the discomfort with open arms, knowing it is a good thing. 

           

Nothing is perfect, I love America and I love South Africa.  I love them for many reasons, but especially for teaching me things about life that I never could have known I would learn in a lifetime, about myself and the world around me.  I am so grateful to everyone who has made this experience what it was and will continue to be as it has become a part of me.

Kelsey's appreciation from afar

Sitting here, two weeks after returning, I could list everything I already miss about South Africa. I could start crying writing this but I think that would be unfair to Cape Town and everyone that has impacted me because of it. So, for now, I’m just going to remember the moments that have changed me forever – they’ll be plenty of time for the tears and reality later. Until then, I’m going to tell myself that I’ll be back and always hold onto the love that I have for Cape Town.

           

I’m trying to think of a good way to sum up my first couple weeks back in America but all I can think of is: “How was South Africa?!” Let me explain. I cannot recount how many times I’ve been asked how my “trip” was. Sure, let me just summarize four of the most impacting lives of my life in a one-sentence response to your broad question. No. That is an impossible task. But, I’ve come to determine those that actually care and those that are just being polite. To the former I ask what they want to know and the latter I say my rehearsed “it was amazing, I loved it!” I should probably mention that I literally cannot stop talking about South Africa. I have developed this cool (often called annoying) ability to turn any topic of conversation to something relatable to Cape Town. Most people don’t hesitate to remind me I’m in America, not South Africa – a fact I don’t like to be reminded of sometimes. Although there are certain things here that I definitely have a new appreciation for: crossing any street without being thrown into a game of Frogger is quite nice, being able to leave my bag in the next chair over while out to eat without a second thought of someone stealing it, not waiting an hour to get served an entrée, Oreos that taste how Oreos should taste, etc. On the other side, wine costing me an arm, overwhelming amounts of white people, hormone and preservative packed food, no one saying hi or smiling at me just because, etc. all encourage me to get back on that plane to Cape Town. Who would’ve thought that I look forward to the days when “Wyyynberg” and “Cape Teeeown” are screamed in my ear with incessant honking providing constant background noise. Something that I found so obnoxious at one point I know miss tremendously.

           

Anyways, the other day, I got some pictures printed and developed at CVS. They were from my underwater disposable camera that I took into the cage with me while shark cage diving. I was so curious to see what images that camera held since I’m pretty sure I just clicked the camera button at random times. My fingers were so cold I couldn’t even tell when I was actually pressing down on the button and I was a little more focused on the massive sharks around me than the camera. This fact is easily shown in the twelve images filled with murky waters and murky waters only. However, every other photo made me laugh. A fin or a random shark part was captured in some, faces with huge goggles and ridiculous wet suit hoods take on the role of penguin look-a-likes, and the most random other things perfectly captured my experience of shark cage diving: hilarious, and amazing.

           

I realize that this entry probably has no rhythm and is completely random but that is how the transition back to being an American has been for me. I’m not sad or depressed; rather, remarkably happy to have been given the opportunity of a life time. I get the privilege of looking back on a four month period with absolutely no regrets and an appreciation only fitting of the most incredible experience. Although I am bred American, a part of me will always be Capetonian.

           

It is through Cape Town that I’ve experienced poverty and wealth, tears and laughter, utter happiness and overwhelming sadness. I’ve made some best friends, grown to love some of the most remarkable people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, learned more about the world and myself, and grown to become someone I’m finally proud of. Not many people are lucky enough to be able to say that.