Becky realizing home is wherever she is

In the past few weeks I have been a bit dazed and confused. I’ve gone from Cape Town, to Connecticut, to Vegas, and back to Connecticut again, so I haven’t had much of a chance to catch my breath and place my feet on the ground. It still seems surreal to me that I am finally home at my apartment for good. When I had originally gotten home I wasn’t sure how I would handle the change of lifestyle. Especially knowing that I wouldn’t have a car coming back home I didn’t know how I would react to my lack of freedom. I felt like I wasn’t in the right place, like I needed to go back to Cape Town because that was my new home. I really needed to take a step back after that because I knew that I am a very blessed person. If I didn’t continue to enjoy my life here in Connecticut then I would have missed a crucial lesson I had learned in Cape Town.

To be completely honest it’s been tough coming home to Connecticut. I hated being home at first, it was great to see my loved ones but I felt so depressed. I couldn’t get back into my old life before I left Cape Town and I felt so alone. For the past three and a half months I had people around me every day, even when I didn’t want them around they were still there. Being back in my apartment, and getting back into the routine here I felt trapped. I closed myself off from talking about how I was feeling because I didn’t think anyone here would understand. Being apart from all my friends that I made in Cape Town was one of my most important and difficult tests. I had to stand alone and still hold onto everything I had learned while I was away. As the days have passed I have realized that, yes, I will survive leaving Cape Town. There will always be a place in my heart for my time there, but to dwell on the negative of coming home is just ridiculous. I am now realizing that I get to start an exciting new chapter in my life that I would never have experienced if I hadn’t gone to Cape Town. New opportunities have opened up for me and I am blessed to have such a great support system not only from my loved ones at home, but also from my Cape Town family.

As of right now, I think what I can rely on is staying strong in myself. I now realize that wherever I am is home because I make it my home. It may take a while for this to completely sink in but I am content with the way I am living as of right now. I know it isn’t good-bye, but just see you later.